1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,980
Thank you.

2
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:34,120
That should be a three.

3
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,280
That should be a three, not a two.

4
00:00:37,280 --> 00:01:07,260
Thank you.

5
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:08,440
A little bit of distortion there.

6
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:38,420
A little bit of distortion there.

7
00:01:38,420 --> 00:02:08,400
A little bit of distortion there.

8
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:38,380
A little bit of distortion there.

9
00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:52,380
Oh, hello, packaxe.

10
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,380
Cox.

11
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Cox.

12
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:58,380
Cox.

13
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,380
Cox.

14
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,380
Cox.

15
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,380
Cox.

16
00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,380
Cox.

17
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:35,540
Go offline.

18
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:40,500
I don't know if we need to be online for this scenario here.

19
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,680
Thank you very much, Robbie.

20
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,860
Brian Coney and Galway Socks.

21
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:45,900
And Jackie, thank you very much.

22
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:53,280
Now, a situation here where I need to turn the volume on the headphones down.

23
00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:57,560
And then see if we go text language, English is in subtitles.

24
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:04,900
Sounds like Batman or something.

25
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:12,360
Captain Sack, thank you very much.

26
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,580
Go online, watch trailer.

27
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,720
I don't even know if we need to watch trailer.

28
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:17,900
Just go straight into...

29
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,040
I don't want to go online either.

30
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:22,480
Go online for more content.

31
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:23,980
What if we just want to play the game?

32
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,260
I just want to play the game.

33
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:43,880
Fucking hell, that's too loud.

34
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,780
I just want to play the game.

35
00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:46,900
Do you know?

36
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:50,900
Why are they saying you have to go online for this or you have to do this, that and the other?

37
00:04:50,900 --> 00:05:06,440
Do you have to go online for this?

38
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,360
Does anyone know or...

39
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:13,260
You need to be connected to the server.

40
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:24,120
Thank you very much there.

41
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:24,720
You're filthy.

42
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:31,700
But this is a shit situation which has come about after downloading a 75 gigabyte game.

43
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,580
You can't even get onto the fucking server there.

44
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,220
and it's like, oh, you need to play...

45
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:39,120
You need to do this, that and the other in order to get the game up and running.

46
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:48,840
Now what?

47
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,280
I have to fucking download this.

48
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:07,660
This is just going to end up in a Shafae stream, I'm afraid, because it's fucked.

49
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,440
Go offline.

50
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,880
Go online for more content.

51
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,860
Why do you have to go online?

52
00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:14,460
I've downloaded the fucking game.

53
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,580
It said Game Pass.

54
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:16,940
Install the game.

55
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:17,600
Game Pass.

56
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:36,840
You can play offline.

57
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:36,940
You can play offline.

58
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,140
There's a load of level packs you need to download.

59
00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:45,100
I've seen that, alright.

60
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,860
I thought, why would you need to download all these extra level packs?

61
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,880
Oh, fucking.

62
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:51,820
How do we get out of this?

63
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:52,480
Get out of this.

64
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:05,140
Right.

65
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:35,120
Get out of this.

66
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,260
Detailed enough, like.

67
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,840
Can't imagine you're getting everything in 10 megabytes.

68
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Might as well download the rest of these fucking things as well.

69
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:43,780
Finishing up, ready to start.

70
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,540
You've got a game running.

71
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,400
Download that or stop playing it.

72
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,420
To improve the speed.

73
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,460
Fucking shit, man, man.

74
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:28,960
Thank you very much there.

75
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,440
You're filthy Captain Sack.

76
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,260
Robbie and Brian Coney 101.

77
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:35,560
Work of fiction.

78
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,340
It's a fucking work of fiction so far anyway.

79
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:40,180
I don't even know if the game exists.

80
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:45,660
Dubai is the first level if you're bothered about it.

81
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:49,240
But I mean, the first thing they've told me to download is Chang Quing.

82
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,240
So I downloaded Chang Quing.

83
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,960
Sign up for an IOIO account.

84
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,000
Do I have to do this?

85
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:06,320
Do I have to do this?

86
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:06,320
Do I have to do this?

87
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:06,500
Do I want to do this?

88
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,640
I don't want to do this.

89
00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:10,620
No.

90
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,060
Thank you very much, Liam Rogers.

91
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,500
I want to receive updates.

92
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:21,940
No, I don't.

93
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:22,380
Cancel.

94
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,820
Continue in offline mode.

95
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:44,340
Go to privacy settings on the game and opt out so you can go offline.

96
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,020
Privacy settings in the game.

97
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:49,900
Where is that?

98
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,980
Is that in the options here?

99
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,440
Opt out.

100
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,440
What?

101
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,440
What?

102
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,440
What?

103
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,440
What?

104
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,440
What?

105
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:36,420
I'm sorry.

106
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:43,420
I'm sorry.

107
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:46,420
Dubai is the first one.

108
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,420
Select all.

109
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:03,420
Brooklyn, Lukey, thank you very, very much.

110
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,420
Install everything, yeah, yeah, yeah.

111
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:18,420
Thanks very much, Schult.

112
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:25,420
Brooklyn, Lukey, remember when you used to boot up a video game and press start game and the game would start?

113
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,420
Yeah, I do remember.

114
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:31,420
We're a long way away from that now.

115
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,420
We're a long, long way away from that.

116
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,420
Quit the game.

117
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:38,420
And we're gonna go add-ons.

118
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:39,420
And we're gonna go that.

119
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,420
And we're gonna select all.

120
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:44,420
And we're gonna save those changes.

121
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,420
We're gonna download this fucking shite.

122
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,420
That's gonna be...

123
00:11:47,420 --> 00:12:08,420
And I had the number two up as well because I thought I was the second stream of the day, but I forgot that there was the special Shafé extreme half past it, 20 past eight stream of the day.

124
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:10,420
So it should have been a three on there.

125
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:14,420
And also that would have fit in well with Hitman 3.

126
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,420
So it's been a fucking disaster from the start to finish.

127
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:23,420
But I'm really looking forward to doing some exotic death moves in this now.

128
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:31,420
The same way in which Hitman 2 brought us all a real veritable feast of pure fucking death action.

129
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:38,420
This should really be the icing on the cake for the day that's in it as well, you know?

130
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:50,420
Now if I get into this game and it doesn't start up after doing all this, it's just gonna be a Shafé stream again because there was another episode lined up that I wanted to watch earlier on.

131
00:12:50,420 --> 00:13:00,420
And I'm not gonna waste any time giving out about this fucking game, although you probably will hear a bit of giving out about it if it doesn't start up.

132
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:03,420
It's just... it's going that way at the moment.

133
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:09,420
This 101 crack as well. You need to sign up for a 101 pass.

134
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:19,420
To experience the full richness of Hitman 3, you're required to play on online mode.

135
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:24,420
And I want to fucking play on online mode, but I don't want to go through a questionnaire and a...

136
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:29,420
Giving email and then fucking getting confirmation emails and...

137
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,420
Where's the fucking story like? Where's the game?

138
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:48,420
You fucking...

139
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,420
Sign up.

140
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:08,420
Yeah, Jerry Creaby, thank you very much.

141
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:10,420
Just sign up.

142
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,420
Just sign up.

143
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,420
Just sign up.

144
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,420
Just sign up.

145
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,420
Just sign up.

146
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:47,400
Thank you.

147
00:14:47,400 --> 00:15:17,380
Thank you.

148
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:47,360
Thank you.

149
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:55,360
Thank you.

150
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,360
Thank you.

151
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,420
Thanks very much, sir.

152
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,320
Okay, we got in.

153
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:01,960
We logged in.

154
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:07,560
We had to do a fucking login and give information away and give them our email.

155
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,200
Who knows what that's going to lead to?

156
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,220
Probably a deluge.

157
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,440
I'll minimize my head there on the screen.

158
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,980
Maybe put myself over here.

159
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:22,480
Deluge of fucking stupid junk email, digital junk email that I don't want.

160
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,600
But nevertheless, let's get involved here.

161
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,700
It's Hitman 3 stories so far.

162
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,480
Get access, it says.

163
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,860
I hope this is not a...

164
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:34,020
Now we have to fucking do another jump through a hoop to get access to this.

165
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,500
Oh, for fuck's sake.

166
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,460
Opt in.

167
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:53,740
Now I have to opt in, is it?

168
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,700
Oh my fucking God.

169
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:09,760
I'll go back over here.

170
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:38,060
you're too

171
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,260
show fucking

172
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:42,820
is it Marrakesh

173
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,320
or just play this Marrakesh one

174
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,920
that's uh

175
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,200
time limited it says

176
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,000
Dubai

177
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,440
oh thank you fuck

178
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,080
please be this

179
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,100
please please work

180
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,760
what's the get access about

181
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:35,320
is it sir?

182
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,580
this is a side mission

183
00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:55,980
I'm getting rid of this fucking Xbox

184
00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,680
it's a waste of time

185
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,520
the only reason I got it was because I was too scared to buy a graphics card

186
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,520
because one I'd have to buy a graphics card and then install it when it gets here

187
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,020
and two you'd have to pay duty on that

188
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,780
and three I don't know if it would still

189
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,480
if it'd be able to stream the game

190
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,280
as well as play the game

191
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,200
but I'm just gonna do that

192
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,120
I'm gonna sell this fucking

193
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,960
I'm gonna trade it back in and then I'm gonna trade it back in and GameStop and get credit

194
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:25,660
well then if you can't do that because they don't give you money if you get credit you get more credit then I don't know

195
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:33,820
sickening this is sickening they say you've got a game pass i'm paying for the game pass

196
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:38,180
i've installed the game and you can't even play the fucking game it's telling you to go to the

197
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:45,040
microsoft store and then what you go to microsoft store and then you have to buy the game then is it

198
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:55,340
now it's telling you you have to buy the game

199
00:19:55,340 --> 00:20:03,900
campaigns prologue hitman hitman 2 hitman 3 side missions

200
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:08,580
i've played

201
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:15,300
you can't even play any of the hitman games

202
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,780
they're assholes man they're fucking assholes

203
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:32,980
the whole xbox experience so far has been shite i remember the call of duty game was shite

204
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:39,260
because it kept crashing on the on the launch on the campaign mode because i wasn't even connected

205
00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:39,860
to the internet

206
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:46,300
it's a fuck up i was looking forward to a bit of killing the stream

207
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:58,820
hitman 3 first mission i clicked on it doesn't work

208
00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:11,340
and uh thanks for the tip there hitman access phone but it's not about that the i don't want

209
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:19,100
i didn't want to fucking buy the game i want i bought the game pass so i'm paying the the whatever it is a

210
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:25,020
month to get access to the games so then i get the game it says install it so i've installed it and then

211
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:35,220
it says you can't play it you're gonna have to buy this once again this newfangled uh digital online

212
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:41,480
marketplace of the way they do business nowadays with these games is absolutely sickening and once

213
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:51,940
again this stream which is meant to be a gaming session will be saved by a man who was presenting

214
00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:58,620
a program in back in 1998 or 2000 i haven't decided on what episode yet but we're gonna do

215
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:03,240
that and it's gonna be a nice episode and it'll put these guys to shame because we'll end up seeing

216
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:10,120
technology that was worth something even though it looks shit now and we laugh at it how crap it is

217
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:15,840
and how bulky and clunky it is it did the job it was meant to do when it was meant to do it

218
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,740
this doesn't do any job at all it teases you it lures you in with this that and the other and it

219
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:29,180
gives you fuck all have a look

220
00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:35,760
one second there now

221
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,260
you

222
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you

223
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you

224
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you

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you

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you

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you

228
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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

474
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so then I just got a link

475
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,160
you're on my microphone there Francis

476
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,960
yeah then I just got a link sent to me in the chat there

477
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,200
thank you very much for the tip by the way uh Captain Zach

478
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:38,200
and it's a a Reddit post about I just downloaded Hitman Trilogy on Games Pass

479
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:44,520
but it asked me to pay for the campaigns. I don't understand how this works. Few comments.

480
00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:50,240
Was this ever fixed or have you figured it out? I had the same problem six months ago. I had the

481
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:55,340
same problem but I was able to fix it today. So this is exactly what I did to solve the problem.

482
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:02,100
Fully close game. Make sure it's not in quick resume. Go to manage game and add on section.

483
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:09,760
Get to the save data section. Press delete all. Then get back to manage game and add on section and enter

484
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,880
the section that shows the game and its add-ons. Delete all the add-ons. You don't have to delete

485
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:20,680
the main game. Then install the add-ons again. This process solved the problem for me last night.

486
00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:28,160
No, not doing it. Fuck off. You've wasted my life, Hitman. You've wasted my life.

487
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:35,260
And that's hyperbolic. You haven't wasted my life but you have wasted a good solid 10 minutes

488
00:25:35,260 --> 00:25:37,880
and 10 minutes of people who've tuned in for Hitman.

489
00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:41,220
Tom.

490
00:25:41,780 --> 00:25:46,880
Yeah, it's a bit much to be saying they've wasted your life, you know. It's just a fucking game, man.

491
00:25:47,460 --> 00:25:53,080
But at the same time, what the fuck were they playing at? You downloaded the Hitman thumbnail

492
00:25:53,080 --> 00:26:00,580
to put up as your thumbnail image for this stream. It's gone down the fucking pan. It's a waste of time.

493
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,380
Absolute waste of time.

494
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,460
Get a bit of Shafé going.

495
00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:17,640
Just, it really takes the piss, the biscuit and everything else in between.

496
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:18,940
Pure scum.

497
00:26:20,020 --> 00:26:22,280
I'm willing to go out on a limb and say, pure scum.

498
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:27,660
Right, okay. We'll put that there now.

499
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:34,300
And we go into our YouTube and have a little look here at the Shafé scenario, which we've got going on.

500
00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:37,500
Computer Chronicles.

501
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,040
Chronicles.

502
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:48,160
I think we have Chronicles here.

503
00:26:53,840 --> 00:27:00,060
HTML. That's where we was earlier on, but there was a new internet creating your own website in 2001.

504
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,520
Hope to fuck we haven't seen this.

505
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,000
We haven't seen it.

506
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,920
If we haven't seen it, then it's going to be an absolute shit blast.

507
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:27,700
That's not on there.

508
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,000
The wrong fucking tune.

509
00:27:33,340 --> 00:27:36,220
It's actually a nice ambient tune for this.

510
00:27:37,460 --> 00:27:38,440
Computer Chronicles.

511
00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:39,900
It doesn't do it though.

512
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,720
You need the hyperblast of Shafé.

513
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,260
The flash.

514
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:53,400
I just want to get into the mood here for a second.

515
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:07,200
What your body?

516
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,880
What your body?

517
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:20,800
What your body?

518
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:29,840
Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu!

519
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:50,720
So just give it one more. It wasn't enough for me there. I'm just trying to build up a bit of momentum here.

520
00:28:50,720 --> 00:29:01,140
.

521
00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:04,640
.

522
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:09,040
.

523
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:14,000
.

524
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:19,000
.

525
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,080
.

526
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:20,680
.

527
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:50,660
.

528
00:29:50,660 --> 00:29:57,660
.

529
00:29:57,660 --> 00:30:01,660
.

530
00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:02,660
.

531
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:10,660
.

532
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:15,600
This week on the Computer Chronicles, how to design a great website.

533
00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:19,480
We'll show you how to use Macromedia Flash to jazz up your website.

534
00:30:19,940 --> 00:30:21,700
Jazz up your website.

535
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,500
You'll meet an expert on JavaScript who will show us how to...

536
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,620
Look at this guy.

537
00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:30,660
He looks like he's been fucking green screened in.

538
00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:31,860
That isn't a green screen.

539
00:30:31,980 --> 00:30:33,800
It's a real studio setup.

540
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,980
Why is he wobbling like that on the side?

541
00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:37,820
Add smarts to your website.

542
00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:39,480
And we'll meet a man who has been...

543
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,100
Whoa, it's a sensual piece of pudding.

544
00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:47,540
This side of Christmas, baby.

545
00:30:47,740 --> 00:30:50,440
A sensual side of pudding.

546
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,640
It's got the side burn and a lovely little wisp of hair.

547
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,300
...called the guru of website usability, Jacob...

548
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,420
Whoa, he's fucking pounding his palm.

549
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,860
Thank you very much there, Sam, for the tip there.

550
00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:08,100
It's very kind of your Sam with the tip there.

551
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:08,980
Nielsen.

552
00:31:09,260 --> 00:31:10,420
How to design...

553
00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:14,300
Sorry, I just need to, yeah, pop that out there so I can see that.

554
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,840
And then pop that out there as well so I can see that.

555
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,720
So, Harry Johnson, thank you very much.

556
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,240
Hitman, Shafi Aldi.

557
00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,200
Maud Gunn, thank you very much.

558
00:31:22,260 --> 00:31:25,040
Maud Gunn, Narubu San, Scumbelina, Jerry Creepy.

559
00:31:25,580 --> 00:31:26,100
Schulte.

560
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,660
And Brooklyn, Lukey, thank you very much there.

561
00:31:29,740 --> 00:31:31,060
Captain Sack and Sam.

562
00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:33,060
Thank you very much, Sam.

563
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,900
I'm Sam from Stu's hometown of Philadelphia.

564
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,600
I didn't know Shafi was from Philadelphia.

565
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:38,340
That's great stuff.

566
00:31:39,260 --> 00:31:41,720
And the Shafi domain is available for purchase.

567
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,200
Whoever would want that, I'm not sure.

568
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,620
Coming up next on the Computer Chronicles.

569
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,840
You don't tend to think about the hip-hop culture.

570
00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:51,600
Fat 32.

571
00:31:52,060 --> 00:31:54,240
All about rap music and the hip-hop scene.

572
00:31:54,340 --> 00:31:54,960
Fat 32.

573
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:55,800
Listen.

574
00:31:55,940 --> 00:31:57,120
I don't travel in those circles.

575
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,380
I don't get to talk to those guys.

576
00:31:58,480 --> 00:31:58,780
Those guys.

577
00:31:58,940 --> 00:31:59,500
Fat 32.

578
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,680
But I did get to talk to them in this chat room.

579
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:02,300
Fat 32.

580
00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:03,920
Hip-hop chat room I went into.

581
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,740
I don't know a lot about the hip-hop scene, but...

582
00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,280
Fat 32.

583
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:07,820
You really are.

584
00:32:07,980 --> 00:32:08,500
I do now.

585
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,620
I don't travel in those circles.

586
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:11,860
I don't get to talk to those guys.

587
00:32:11,980 --> 00:32:12,580
Fat 32.

588
00:32:12,980 --> 00:32:15,300
Man, I learned a lot about what really goes on in that world.

589
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,240
Fat 32.

590
00:32:20,180 --> 00:32:20,980
Fat 32.

591
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:21,540
Twisted.

592
00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:24,700
Fat 32.

593
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:25,320
Twisted.

594
00:32:25,660 --> 00:32:26,060
Twisted.

595
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,200
Dispatches unwraps the story behind...

596
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,300
People getting undressed, you know, going to the bathroom.

597
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:34,800
Twisted.

598
00:32:34,980 --> 00:32:37,080
Dispatches investigates Monday at 8 on 4.

599
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,420
We might see a bit of her later on as well if we can find a decent fucking resolution episode.

600
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,280
Dispatches undercover investigation.

601
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,520
Maybe a bit of this, that as well.

602
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,520
We've got some deep lore backstory from...

603
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,760
Let's keep on going!

604
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,120
We've got some...

605
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520
...migration service from PC first.

606
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,020
Some Oscar Schindler backstory deep lore.

607
00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:59,480
Files, applications and preferences from your old computer to your new one.

608
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,680
Additional support is provided by Upside Events.

609
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,640
Fishing link.

610
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,260
Presenting the Digital Lifestyle Revolution conference.

611
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,240
But I don't...

612
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,420
I'm not accusing anyone of trying to fish me out of it, but I mean...

613
00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:13,260
I just need to...

614
00:33:13,260 --> 00:33:14,580
I need to be careful.

615
00:33:15,540 --> 00:33:16,820
Because I'm not being careful.

616
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,520
There's links coming at me left, right and centre and I'm clicking them.

617
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,220
And I need to just fucking make sure I'm clicking the right thing.

618
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,060
Look at the fucking power of this guy.

619
00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:41,800
What's that he's got on his belt?

620
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:51,480
Look, has he got a Nokia phone in a little fucking leather satchel with a PVC kind of transparent PVC front?

621
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,240
You can let you push the buttons.

622
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,300
Is that what he's got?

623
00:33:55,340 --> 00:33:56,160
Is that what he's rocking?

624
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,880
Have a look at that.

625
00:34:00,140 --> 00:34:01,380
It's a radio mic.

626
00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:01,960
It's massive.

627
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:06,340
Hi and...

628
00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:07,340
Thank you very much.

629
00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:09,400
Hi, I'm Stuart Shiffey.

630
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,960
Mean Street Posse.

631
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:11,800
Thank you very much.

632
00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:12,700
And Higgy Smalls.

633
00:34:12,740 --> 00:34:13,260
Welcome to the...

634
00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:14,760
Never mind Agent 47.

635
00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:18,180
Now we get to see Agent Fat 32 at work.

636
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:19,020
I love it.

637
00:34:19,020 --> 00:34:19,640
Computer Chronicles.

638
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,820
I'm Stuart Shiffey.

639
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,020
And Tato the dog.

640
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:22,500
Thank you.

641
00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:24,940
Creating design.

642
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,480
Can you give my dog Tato a shout out?

643
00:34:27,780 --> 00:34:28,800
Tato, how are you getting on?

644
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:29,800
I hope you're doing well.

645
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,100
You sweet, sweet, sweet dream.

646
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,840
Dining and building a website is still a difficult hurdle to overcome there.

647
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:37,080
Hurdle.

648
00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:38,740
Will this morning's first stream come online?

649
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,480
It's online now.

650
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,340
Go and check it out.

651
00:34:40,340 --> 00:34:43,900
There are some simple online tools for creating basic personal websites,

652
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:48,420
but the intricacies of creating a really cool website are still a mystery to many people.

653
00:34:48,940 --> 00:34:53,820
We were only looking at him talking about cool websites earlier on.

654
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:56,660
That was two years prior to this episode.

655
00:34:56,780 --> 00:34:57,960
I was 98 with three years.

656
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:04,560
But the intricacies of creating a really cool website are still a mystery to many people.

657
00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:08,420
Things like adding Flash, Java applets, optimizing your user interface,

658
00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:10,220
making sure your site loads fast.

659
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,360
These are the things we'll look at today as we show you how to build a killer website.

660
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,240
There actually is a new online web creation site that is...

661
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:19,440
You're not a killer, are you?

662
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:20,060
No, I'm not.

663
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:20,740
Very powerful.

664
00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:22,340
It's called moonfruit.com.

665
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,300
And here to tell us about it is Norman Meyerowitz, president of Macromedia Ventures.

666
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:26,700
Hi, Norm.

667
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:27,220
Hey, Stuart.

668
00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:31,740
Macromedia, you guys are known for Flash, of course, which is one of the coolest things we see on a website.

669
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:32,940
Flash topics.

670
00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:37,320
For people who may not know exactly what Flash is, give us a couple examples of Flash as we see it on the web right now.

671
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:37,940
Okay, great.

672
00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:39,840
Well, people use Macromedia Dreaming for creating...

673
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,520
And we have Norm Meyerowitz here.

674
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:42,260
He's not...

675
00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:45,060
We're only seeing a side profile of Meyerowitz.

676
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,960
Hopefully we get to see the full situation.

677
00:35:47,060 --> 00:35:50,760
Websites, and they use Flash for creating rich media in the websites.

678
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,000
People know it a lot these days because of entertainment.

679
00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:58,260
Here's an example of The Critic, which used to be on TV, but now is exclusively in Flash.

680
00:35:58,260 --> 00:36:00,020
So a lot of the animations...

681
00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:09,380
This could be pre-9-11 or it could be after 9-11, but they haven't bothered to fucking get rid of the twin towers in this little opening bit.

682
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:15,000
Thanks very much there, Norm and my dad and Mean Street and Tato.

683
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:22,380
We have a couple of fucking two towers there, and we know what happened to those guys as well.

684
00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:23,700
It was a bad situation.

685
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,800
And, yeah, look, it was just a bad situation.

686
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,220
We don't need to go down that fucking road again.

687
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:34,140
But do we?

688
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,380
Because it was a crazy day.

689
00:36:37,940 --> 00:36:41,160
And a lot of footage is being filmed about that day.

690
00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:46,440
And maybe, just maybe, we might watch some of that footage.

691
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,020
I mean, that's not fucking...

692
00:36:48,020 --> 00:36:49,560
That's not for the faint of heart.

693
00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:50,780
Okay?

694
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,500
But anyway, let's just go into this.

695
00:36:53,140 --> 00:36:56,520
...of The Critic, which used to be on TV, but now is exclusively in Flash.

696
00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:03,500
A lot of the animation stuff, which, of course, is a little easier to do on the web with Flash, is using your guys' technology to watch TV on the web.

697
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:03,960
Right.

698
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:04,880
Right. Production values are TV.

699
00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:12,400
There's still a lot of questions unanswered about that day.

700
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:12,680
Who's to say...

701
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:21,060
That we still haven't looked at the footage in the way that we should have looked at it.

702
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:30,680
And who's to say, if they found the passport intact of one of those crazy bastards that did the fucking dirty work...

703
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:38,600
Who's to say we won't find something of note or interest from looking back?

704
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:49,180
Especially that footage, the most recent one that was released, of the new footage of the fucking South Tower from the Holiday Makers on a boat down at Battery Park.

705
00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:50,340
Anyway.

706
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,200
TV, but it runs over low bandwidth.

707
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:52,380
Yeah.

708
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:52,740
And modems.

709
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,000
All right, so we're familiar with sort of the entertainment type...

710
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,240
9mm Jill, thank you very much.

711
00:37:56,340 --> 00:37:58,040
Let's talk about some commercial applications.

712
00:37:58,180 --> 00:38:01,520
People are, in fact, using Flash increasingly in the advertising arena, right?

713
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,880
To make ads more interesting on the web.

714
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:05,680
Right, Coca-Cola uses it for branding.

715
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,320
Get the vid of them telling Bush it went down.

716
00:38:09,140 --> 00:38:11,600
And maybe do like a Shafay edit on it.

717
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,680
And, sir, another episode of Computer Chronicles is just being streamed.

718
00:38:17,260 --> 00:38:20,960
Or another Computer Chronicles just hit the internet.

719
00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:23,920
Another episode of Computer Chronicles just got launched.

720
00:38:24,140 --> 00:38:25,680
For example, this is what people are doing.

721
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,440
So you can really get the...

722
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:31,000
Imagine if he was watching Computer Chronicles at the time.

723
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,840
And all the footage of him getting told was that.

724
00:38:36,180 --> 00:38:40,660
And, like, instead of him continuing to read My Pet Goat to an elementary school,

725
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,680
he just watched Stu's Pick of the Week.

726
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:45,420
Frozen.

727
00:38:46,020 --> 00:38:47,000
Not knowing what to do.

728
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:49,440
And to make it extra fucking fucked up,

729
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,820
Stu's Pick of the Week was like a Microsoft or Flight Simulator game.

730
00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:55,800
It's like, uh...

731
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,740
Now, my pick of the week,

732
00:38:58,100 --> 00:39:00,480
a brand new Flight Simulator game,

733
00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,560
which takes the mantle,

734
00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,220
takes on the mantle from Microsoft's Flight Simulator,

735
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,440
and turns it on its head,

736
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:13,880
where you control a jet airliner console desk.

737
00:39:13,940 --> 00:39:14,360
Grand across.

738
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:15,420
So you go to the Coke Home page,

739
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,760
a little more exciting stuff is happening.

740
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,320
It's a far out concept.

741
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,280
Look at this blatant Coca-Cola advertising.

742
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:22,460
Don't drink that shite.

743
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,700
And then people are also using it.

744
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,160
CNET, for example, and ZDNet are using this

745
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:31,160
for creating rich media examples inside of their webpage.

746
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,800
Here's an example of Oracle's ad where you can have that...

747
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,660
You want to scroll that up so we can see the rest of it?

748
00:39:36,660 --> 00:39:37,540
Sure, you can have that.

749
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,000
So this is the new version of the ad banner.

750
00:39:40,060 --> 00:39:42,260
So the boring ad banner, click it and leave the site,

751
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,800
actually watch a moving ad inside the site.

752
00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:47,380
Moving ad, and now I can find out about Oracle 9i,

753
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,360
right like that, without having to...

754
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,040
So it's a living window inside that page.

755
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,560
Living window, I don't leave the site.

756
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:55,180
Quasi-quartang conspiracy.

757
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,020
Quasi-quartang conspiracy.

758
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:02,940
Sir, a second quasi-quartang has hit the World Trade Center.

759
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,920
Sir, a second robot has entered

760
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,540
the elementary school in Florida.

761
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,720
So the advertiser is pleased and the site owner is pleased.

762
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:12,080
Okay.

763
00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:14,200
Now you have another interesting example,

764
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,600
a little more subtle use of Flash inside an online bank.

765
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:23,040
If I look at that online bank,

766
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,060
one of the things that Flash is being used...

767
00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:28,940
Online banking was hyped at this stage

768
00:40:28,940 --> 00:40:30,520
of the internet game 2001.

769
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:34,420
But as we all know, the internet was dominated by pornography

770
00:40:34,420 --> 00:40:37,940
and it was more likely to be online wanking

771
00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:44,120
that was going on instead of online banking.

772
00:40:47,620 --> 00:40:49,440
more and more for is applications.

773
00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:51,980
There are 300 million people out there that can actually view Flash,

774
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,140
96% of the web.

775
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:53,580
Wow.

776
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,800
And Flash allows you to create seamless experiences.

777
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,760
Instead of the browser refreshing all the time

778
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,440
where you have this break in the experience,

779
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:00,500
you can create an immersive experience.

780
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:00,620
All right.

781
00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:02,180
So how are you using Flash on this website?

782
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,660
Well, here's a bank and I'm going to launch this bank.

783
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,640
And imagine this is an ATM,

784
00:41:08,860 --> 00:41:12,520
but you can actually operate through it.

785
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,880
And there's a voice that's actually telling you how to operate.

786
00:41:15,220 --> 00:41:17,600
I can actually transfer funds and I can do it.

787
00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:19,000
This doesn't look like a website.

788
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,420
This looks like an ATM with voice and stuff.

789
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,620
So again, the idea is you're getting out of that old page metaphor.

790
00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:24,960
Thank you very much.

791
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:25,980
Leave this to go here.

792
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,000
Leave that to go here.

793
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,540
Stay in the bank, the virtual bank, if you will,

794
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,200
and do different things in that environment.

795
00:41:31,220 --> 00:41:32,960
Exactly. You build that using the Flash authoring tool.

796
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,900
All right. Now show us another example of how you would create.

797
00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:37,780
Flash authoring tool.

798
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:40,840
... things or entertainment things using the traditional Flash tools.

799
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,540
Well, this is something that Business 2.0 used

800
00:41:43,540 --> 00:41:45,720
to actually explain the difference between the PC world

801
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:46,920
and the wireless world.

802
00:41:47,260 --> 00:41:48,540
And this is where you do storytelling,

803
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,000
which you normally wouldn't do on a web page.

804
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:50,100
Sure.

805
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:53,440
Use audio. You use animation.

806
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,760
Now briefly show us using the traditional sort of software tool.

807
00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:01,480
Lovely, Stu, just overriding the fellas' comments about,

808
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,220
we got some nice audio here.

809
00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:05,940
And Stu's like, yeah, all right, what else?

810
00:42:07,020 --> 00:42:08,540
The audio was rubbish.

811
00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:09,800
MIDI file stuff as well.

812
00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:11,260
D. Caffrey, thank you very much, Schlug.

813
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,300
Thank you very much, Christmas.

814
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,000
Thank you very much.

815
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:14,840
And this is where you do storytelling,

816
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,360
which you normally wouldn't do on a web page.

817
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:16,460
Sure.

818
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,500
Use audio. You use animation.

819
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,120
All right. Now briefly show us using...

820
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,300
All right. All right. Yeah.

821
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:22,960
Whatever the fuck.

822
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,880
Now briefly show us something else,

823
00:42:24,940 --> 00:42:25,920
because this sucks.

824
00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:27,580
Christian friendly streaming.

825
00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:28,420
Thanks very much.

826
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:30,660
I hope you're going to do well.

827
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:32,280
I don't know what that means.

828
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:32,440
Sorry.

829
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:34,740
When are they going to get into parental controls

830
00:42:34,740 --> 00:42:36,820
to avoid the adult material you're asking?

831
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:37,700
You're on about this?

832
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,360
Are you on about watching this stream?

833
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:39,980
I'm not sure.

834
00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:41,860
Thank you very much for the tip, though.

835
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,800
of software tool, Flash Studio,

836
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,660
how I might go in and modify the thing

837
00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:48,060
and what that interface would look like.

838
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:50,700
If you're a professional,

839
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,580
you would actually use the Flash authoring tool,

840
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,560
and it uses a timeline metaphor

841
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,100
to actually stage the different animations and audio,

842
00:42:57,660 --> 00:43:00,120
and it's as simple as going in and clicking...

843
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:00,960
Simple as ABC.

844
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,840
Change this, so I can change this to Computer Chronicles.

845
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:07,020
Sure.

846
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:08,520
But I mean, this is, as you say,

847
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,480
this is for the professional.

848
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,900
I mean, we see lots of windows, lots of windows.

849
00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:12,260
He's floundering here.

850
00:43:12,380 --> 00:43:15,740
Stu is hustling and harrying him into a fucking frenzy.

851
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,000
It's a parameter.

852
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:16,840
It's kind of complicated.

853
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:17,740
You've got to really learn.

854
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:19,440
There's a little training curve here, right?

855
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:20,160
Yeah, you need some talent.

856
00:43:20,340 --> 00:43:20,480
Yeah.

857
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:22,200
Let's talk then about the next thing,

858
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,900
which is what I mentioned, moonfruit.com,

859
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,520
which you've taken a lot of this capability.

860
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:26,700
All right, what else?

861
00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:28,060
Put it on a live website,

862
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,280
sort of more drag-and-drop, you know, point-and-click,

863
00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:32,340
where normal people can actually accomplish

864
00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:33,240
some of the same things.

865
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:35,840
Okay, well, let's go to...

866
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,680
Moonfruit.com.

867
00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:39,360
And here's moonfruit.com,

868
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:42,100
and I'm logged in as myself,

869
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:43,440
and here are my favorite sites,

870
00:43:43,660 --> 00:43:44,780
and then this is a site that I've built.

871
00:43:44,780 --> 00:43:45,240
All right.

872
00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:46,460
So, show that to us, yeah.

873
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:47,880
So, moonfruit has actually used Flash

874
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,780
to create this very sophisticated application.

875
00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:51,160
So, they've used a Flash offering tool,

876
00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:52,760
but then they've made it so end users

877
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,020
can actually create their own sites.

878
00:43:54,020 --> 00:43:55,380
So, actually, sites in Flash,

879
00:43:55,460 --> 00:43:56,980
we're using Flash to create other Flash things.

880
00:43:56,980 --> 00:43:57,620
Create other Flash.

881
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,900
So, this is an end-user site for pop music,

882
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:00,800
and I have a homepage.

883
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,500
This is something you would have built in moonfruit.

884
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,740
Pop up the toolbox.

885
00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:03,940
Pop up the toolbox.

886
00:44:03,940 --> 00:44:06,020
Pop up the toolbox.

887
00:44:06,020 --> 00:44:08,100
Pop up the toolbox.

888
00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:08,720
Pop up the toolbox.

889
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,200
Pop up the toolbox.

890
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:12,040
Pop up the toolbox.

891
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:12,340
Pop up the toolbox.

892
00:44:12,540 --> 00:44:13,460
This is how you edit it.

893
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,520
This is how easy it is to actually create your own page.

894
00:44:15,580 --> 00:44:16,860
So, I can come over here.

895
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,160
I can simply touch on welcome and say...

896
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:20,500
Yeah, right there, Francis.

897
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,160
Change that to...

898
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,100
Pop up the toolbox.

899
00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:23,340
Pop up the toolbox.

900
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:24,940
Hello, Stuart.

901
00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:26,220
And you can mess around with that.

902
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:28,160
I mean, flip it, rotate it, do kinds of cool things like that.

903
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:29,180
Here, I'm going to scale it.

904
00:44:30,980 --> 00:44:32,600
I can rotate it.

905
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,940
It's obviously a lot simpler interface than we looked at before.

906
00:44:34,940 --> 00:44:36,160
Right, I can add an item.

907
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,620
Wow, look at that, man.

908
00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:39,640
Fucking Dutch angle on the Hello Stew.

909
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:41,720
Unbelievable stuff.

910
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,980
He's just after saying you can add an item as well.

911
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:45,640
Wow.

912
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,380
Absolute wow material.

913
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:49,040
Fucking...

914
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,320
15 of these.

915
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:55,500
Images and widgets.

916
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:56,780
Link, text box.

917
00:44:57,340 --> 00:44:58,440
Unbelievable website.

918
00:44:58,660 --> 00:45:00,080
The site is moonfruit.com.

919
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:05,800
In fairness now, the website that we're being shown there is 100 million times better than

920
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,920
the ones that we've seen earlier on from 1998.

921
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,620
And this guy really is...

922
00:45:11,620 --> 00:45:15,680
It's like an effect has been put on in Photoshop here, if you zoom in close.

923
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:16,440
I don't know about...

924
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,480
There's something about this episode that is bizarre.

925
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,560
It's like everyone is green screened into the app.

926
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,300
I'm not sure.

927
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:27,060
Or it looks like one of those pasteurized effects in Photoshop.

928
00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:33,080
You know, and you just overlay the fucking image with loads of filters.

929
00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:35,160
It's beautiful stuff.

930
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,040
Really is nice.

931
00:45:38,460 --> 00:45:39,480
Go in there and use it for free.

932
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:39,980
Yep.

933
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:41,480
And design a cool site and put flashes.

934
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:41,680
Yep.

935
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:42,440
Yep.

936
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:42,860
Exactly.

937
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:43,400
Norm, thank you.

938
00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:43,960
Right.

939
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,620
Thank you very much.

940
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,000
Thanks, Stuart.

941
00:45:45,380 --> 00:45:49,420
Well, the key to a really attractive and engaging website, of course, is graphics.

942
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,520
And one company that's been around for a long time providing great graphics tools is Adobe.

943
00:45:53,660 --> 00:45:56,080
Programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere, etc.

944
00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,660
Well, Adobe is now coming out with new design tools for jazzing up your website.

945
00:46:01,140 --> 00:46:01,620
Okay.

946
00:46:02,620 --> 00:46:05,520
Adobe fucking...

947
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,440
Don't tell me.

948
00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:10,800
Don't tell me.

949
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:11,440
Don't tell me.

950
00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:12,060
Don't tell me.

951
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,740
It wouldn't be Dreamweaver because that's...

952
00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:17,300
I think that's Macromedia, is it?

953
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:19,480
Adobe.

954
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:21,260
It's coming up for your website.

955
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:22,440
Is it Flash, is it?

956
00:46:22,820 --> 00:46:26,360
It's either Flash or it's Macromedia.

957
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:27,640
No, Macromedia is Flash.

958
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:28,600
Flash is Macromedia.

959
00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:30,560
Fucking Adobe.

960
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,920
Oh, not After Effects.

961
00:46:34,020 --> 00:46:34,680
That'd be video.

962
00:46:35,580 --> 00:46:39,260
It would be Adobe.

963
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,740
Print page.

964
00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:44,220
Print.

965
00:46:44,740 --> 00:46:46,100
Fucking, I can't remember.

966
00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:48,680
And here to show them to us is Mark Eamon of Adobe.

967
00:46:48,780 --> 00:46:49,120
Hi, Mark.

968
00:46:49,540 --> 00:46:53,680
I know what he's going to present to us now, but I just can't.

969
00:46:55,820 --> 00:46:56,800
Not Photoshop.

970
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,560
Adobe Acrobat.

971
00:47:00,660 --> 00:47:01,680
It's not Adobe Acrobat.

972
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:02,800
That's PDF Reader.

973
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:04,380
It's something...

974
00:47:04,380 --> 00:47:07,620
It's a desktop publishing Adobe Illustrator.

975
00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:08,900
Is it?

976
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:09,640
Hi.

977
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,200
Okay, a couple of things...

978
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:11,560
Hi.

979
00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:12,480
...things we want to talk about.

980
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,180
You have something called Go Live.

981
00:47:15,020 --> 00:47:15,460
InDesign.

982
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,340
Show us the basics of what...

983
00:47:18,340 --> 00:47:18,980
It's not even that.

984
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:19,540
It's Go Live.

985
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:20,620
...go live and how it works.

986
00:47:20,700 --> 00:47:21,220
It's your tool.

987
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,040
Sure.

988
00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:23,500
Well, Adobe Go Live is really...

989
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:24,300
Fucked it up.

990
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,520
Completely fucked it up.

991
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,480
...tool for creating...

992
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,360
Cutting out websites that the most discerning, discriminating web users, web developers use.

993
00:47:32,860 --> 00:47:40,020
And what I'd like to show you is how it can also be very effective for use by someone who's starting out building websites.

994
00:47:40,180 --> 00:47:40,340
Okay.

995
00:47:40,500 --> 00:47:42,480
We've put in some things here that allow you to...

996
00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:44,540
So we're in Go Live right now.

997
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:45,000
That's right.

998
00:47:45,100 --> 00:47:45,780
We're in Go Live.

999
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:49,360
And one of the unique things we have here is a layout grid.

1000
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:54,840
A layout grid allows a user to position an element absolutely anywhere on the page.

1001
00:47:55,020 --> 00:48:01,780
Sort of like the old desktop publishing metaphor, which is something that is non-trivial if you're not using a...

1002
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,020
If you are using another product.

1003
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,400
I mean, the point is you have the Photoshop history here.

1004
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,480
So you guys are sort of taking that, integrating it inside the Go Live tool.

1005
00:48:10,540 --> 00:48:10,940
Is that the idea?

1006
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:11,760
Absolutely.

1007
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:16,480
And I'd like to show you next a really tight piece of integration that is, again, unique.

1008
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,240
Right shit coming up.

1009
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,440
And he's dual-wielding laptops.

1010
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,240
He's got a PC and a Mac as well.

1011
00:48:22,340 --> 00:48:25,500
It's a double job scenario right here, right now.

1012
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:26,260
It's fresh.

1013
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,200
It's a fresh piece of software, fresh out the box.

1014
00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:35,080
And we've been really excited about this since launch.

1015
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:35,960
Technologies.

1016
00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:41,720
What I'd like to do is show you how we can take an image that was created maybe for another purpose.

1017
00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:43,700
And it's another double Chino setup.

1018
00:48:43,940 --> 00:48:45,360
Just really take all this in.

1019
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:49,820
This is 2001, and it's complete Chino Town.

1020
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,280
Welcome to Chino Town.

1021
00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:55,980
Sponsored by Chino Moreno of that fucking band.

1022
00:48:56,180 --> 00:48:57,140
Can't remember the name.

1023
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,520
Mine's gone septic, but I've been up since six.

1024
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:01,460
Deftones.

1025
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:06,160
Let's do is show you how we can take an image that was created maybe for another purpose.

1026
00:49:06,260 --> 00:49:09,160
So here's an image that is 1.7 megabytes of Photoshop file.

1027
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,320
We want to put it on our website.

1028
00:49:10,420 --> 00:49:12,540
A monster file that might have been designed for print somewhere.

1029
00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,200
We don't care about the size of the file.

1030
00:49:14,540 --> 00:49:14,940
Exactly.

1031
00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:16,260
Well, you do care on the web.

1032
00:49:16,260 --> 00:49:17,240
I'm not going to get away with that here.

1033
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:17,840
Exactly.

1034
00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:19,520
Look at that fucking face.

1035
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:21,120
Determination.

1036
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:21,760
Great.

1037
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,480
Effort.

1038
00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:26,940
Great biking.

1039
00:49:28,180 --> 00:49:31,560
So we have this tool in GoLive called the Smart Objects.

1040
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:33,880
It brings up this Save for Web dialog box.

1041
00:49:33,940 --> 00:49:37,880
And if you've used any of half a dozen Adobe products, this is very familiar to you.

1042
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,020
So your learning curve is zero.

1043
00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:42,600
You can set the compression that you wish for this particular image.

1044
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:47,440
In this case, I'm also going to want to make the image a little bit smaller on my website.

1045
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:48,960
So let's go ahead and make that smaller.

1046
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:53,520
I'll save it to my desktop to make things happen a little more quickly here.

1047
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,800
And again, I can move it around anywhere thanks to my layout grid.

1048
00:49:56,980 --> 00:49:59,080
But here's something that's really cool and unique.

1049
00:49:59,420 --> 00:50:02,620
Suppose you wanted to now, as I realize, I've made it a little too small.

1050
00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:02,860
Right.

1051
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:04,700
So you compressed it, but you've also compressed it.

1052
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,460
I've made it the size.

1053
00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:07,720
Yeah, it's too small for that size.

1054
00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:08,500
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1055
00:50:08,580 --> 00:50:09,260
Smart out there.

1056
00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:10,080
What else?

1057
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:16,360
I love when he's fucking excited about the technology.

1058
00:50:16,620 --> 00:50:17,780
He loves Power Max.

1059
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:21,840
And always a Windows kind of guy, Stu, but he gets excited about the fucking Power Books.

1060
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,500
Listen to this.

1061
00:50:22,580 --> 00:50:24,140
Listen to the fucking love in the voice here.

1062
00:50:24,140 --> 00:50:28,440
All right, let's go over here to what you have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book.

1063
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:29,240
Very cool.

1064
00:50:29,340 --> 00:50:30,140
Very cool indeed.

1065
00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:30,760
Slick looking.

1066
00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:33,560
Your brand new G4 Power Book.

1067
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:34,340
Very cool.

1068
00:50:34,460 --> 00:50:35,240
Very cool indeed.

1069
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:35,900
Slick looking.

1070
00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:36,620
Thank you.

1071
00:50:37,620 --> 00:50:38,680
G4 Power Book.

1072
00:50:38,780 --> 00:50:39,460
Very cool.

1073
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,360
Very cool indeed.

1074
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:40,980
Slick looking.

1075
00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:41,700
Thank you.

1076
00:50:41,940 --> 00:50:43,780
New G4 Power Book.

1077
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:44,560
Very cool.

1078
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:45,460
Very cool indeed.

1079
00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:46,080
Slick looking.

1080
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:46,820
Thank you.

1081
00:50:47,060 --> 00:50:48,880
New G4 Power Book.

1082
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:49,660
Very cool.

1083
00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:50,560
Very cool indeed.

1084
00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:51,180
Slick looking.

1085
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:51,920
Thank you.

1086
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,000
And on this machine, you have what?

1087
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,120
True love.

1088
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,280
True love.

1089
00:50:58,620 --> 00:50:59,580
Technology.

1090
00:51:00,100 --> 00:51:01,160
True love.

1091
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,120
From two fellas.

1092
00:51:04,620 --> 00:51:06,240
Essentially loving.

1093
00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:09,760
Kieran Cross.

1094
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:10,580
Thank you very much.

1095
00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:11,720
Elon Musk's brother.

1096
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:12,900
Thank you very much as well.

1097
00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:16,960
Essentially loving laptops together.

1098
00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:18,940
True love.

1099
00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:20,540
Chino boys.

1100
00:51:22,140 --> 00:51:23,960
With their true love.

1101
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,640
Chino toys.

1102
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:27,280
All right.

1103
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:31,460
Let's go over here to what you have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book.

1104
00:51:31,580 --> 00:51:32,260
Very cool.

1105
00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:33,160
Very cool indeed.

1106
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:33,780
Slick looking.

1107
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:34,500
Thank you.

1108
00:51:34,740 --> 00:51:36,580
And on this machine, you have what?

1109
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:37,280
Live motion.

1110
00:51:37,820 --> 00:51:38,300
Yes, I do.

1111
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,740
Look at the fucking rig out scenario here.

1112
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,480
He's got a fucking VGA coming out of that bad boy.

1113
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:52,220
He's only gone and got a fucking VGA fucking pouring out the back of that back trap door.

1114
00:51:53,140 --> 00:51:57,680
And you can see his other ports ready for action, ready for plug and play action there.

1115
00:51:58,260 --> 00:52:00,120
Gabriel, thanks very much for the tip there.

1116
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:06,720
Hope you're getting on well this side of Christmas and enjoying this G4 Power Book.

1117
00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:07,640
Very cool.

1118
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:08,660
Very nice.

1119
00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:11,140
Yeah.

1120
00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:13,640
One more time.

1121
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:17,180
Have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book.

1122
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:17,980
Very cool.

1123
00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:18,880
Very cool indeed.

1124
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:19,500
Slick looking.

1125
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:20,220
Thank you.

1126
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,300
And on this machine, you have what?

1127
00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:29,100
And just the thank you there as well is I've noticed this before.

1128
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:32,220
There's nothing wrong with it because we're all proud of our purchases.

1129
00:52:32,500 --> 00:52:37,560
But it's as if when you say thank you about a fucking purchase, like as if that's, you know,

1130
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:41,260
something you've raised, like you raised that child and the child has done well.

1131
00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:42,360
And there's a compliment.

1132
00:52:42,540 --> 00:52:46,520
It's as if you've had some sort of input in its creation.

1133
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,000
But he seemed very cool.

1134
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:52,380
And then people take that their purchase on personally.

1135
00:52:52,580 --> 00:52:53,480
It's like, oh, thank you.

1136
00:52:53,540 --> 00:52:54,320
Thank you very much.

1137
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,520
Like, that's the world that we're living in now, you know.

1138
00:52:58,020 --> 00:53:05,060
And we fetishize the fucking products to the point where we actually believe they're a part of, they're an extension of us, basically.

1139
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:06,280
And look at the glee and the joy.

1140
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:07,600
Is there anything wrong with that?

1141
00:53:07,660 --> 00:53:08,440
I'm not sure.

1142
00:53:08,660 --> 00:53:11,320
Because look at the joy and the glee that brings this guy.

1143
00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:13,420
Very cool.

1144
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:14,900
Big tripod.

1145
00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:15,900
Thank you very much.

1146
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,940
Titanium PowerBook G4.

1147
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:18,800
Thank you very much.

1148
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:19,540
Very cool indeed.

1149
00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:20,160
Slick looking.

1150
00:53:20,540 --> 00:53:20,900
Thank you.

1151
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,040
And on this mission.

1152
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:22,800
Thank you.

1153
00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:30,120
And I've just, it touches on something that I've thought about when I've seen other people who are, you know,

1154
00:53:30,140 --> 00:53:34,420
they say thank you when people say, wow, that's cool, man.

1155
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,960
I think the correct response would be, not that you have to have a correct response.

1156
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,160
That's fine what he did.

1157
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,620
But you just go, it is, yeah.

1158
00:53:43,060 --> 00:53:43,840
It's fucking cool.

1159
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:45,960
I know, man.

1160
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:46,360
I know.

1161
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,520
Fucking, hey, don't tell, don't tell the bank.

1162
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,020
Don't tell the accountant, though, you know.

1163
00:53:51,100 --> 00:53:53,040
Fucking set me back a few fucking, you know, whatever.

1164
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:57,620
But sometimes people take it on and it's their own thing.

1165
00:53:57,620 --> 00:54:02,520
I imagine there'd be Tesla people, people who are driving Teslas that might get really kind of,

1166
00:54:02,820 --> 00:54:04,480
thanks very much, man.

1167
00:54:04,820 --> 00:54:05,100
Great.

1168
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:12,640
In an unlikely crossover, Rio Ferdinand has said multiple times when discussing best players during yesterday's ITV World Cup coverage

1169
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,020
that they were, they really enhanced their reputations.

1170
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,260
Alvarez really enhanced his reputation.

1171
00:54:17,380 --> 00:54:18,040
I didn't see it.

1172
00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:20,520
And I was watching the RT coverage as well.

1173
00:54:21,260 --> 00:54:23,040
Dara Powerball Maloney.

1174
00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:26,980
And I think Ray Houghton were on comms.

1175
00:54:26,980 --> 00:54:29,860
And it was, there was some good stuff.

1176
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,800
There was some good stuff.

1177
00:54:30,940 --> 00:54:34,040
I think Dara Maloney said at one time,

1178
00:54:34,260 --> 00:54:39,700
to reference the fact that Martinez had had fuck all to do for, like, most of the game.

1179
00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:43,520
He was like, Martinez is there just doing his nails.

1180
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,000
Cleaning his boots.

1181
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,760
I thought, doing his nails?

1182
00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:52,300
Well, is he down getting a fucking manicure with the girls?

1183
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:57,420
Like, he said doing his nails, but then it didn't make sense because sure, he'd have gloves on.

1184
00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:58,580
He wouldn't be doing his nails.

1185
00:54:59,420 --> 00:55:01,040
And then why would you be doing his nails anyway?

1186
00:55:01,100 --> 00:55:01,640
He's a bloke.

1187
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:06,200
And he covered it up straight away by saying, cleaning his boots.

1188
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:14,160
So, but that didn't make sense either because you'd probably have a fucking, one of the lads cleaning the boots back in the dressing room anyway.

1189
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:14,680
Like, you know?

1190
00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:15,560
Anyway.

1191
00:55:15,620 --> 00:55:16,560
Shane, you have what?

1192
00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:17,120
Live motion.

1193
00:55:17,140 --> 00:55:20,900
If that's on the player for the next fortnight, you can go and watch it.

1194
00:55:21,420 --> 00:55:22,100
Yes, I do.

1195
00:55:22,100 --> 00:55:25,340
Which is a way to create the kinds of flash animations we just saw before?

1196
00:55:25,820 --> 00:55:29,920
Live motion is Adobe's tool for creating flash files.

1197
00:55:29,940 --> 00:55:30,240
Okay.

1198
00:55:30,420 --> 00:55:34,600
And it, again, shares a lot of technology with other Adobe applications.

1199
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:34,860
All right.

1200
00:55:34,860 --> 00:55:37,520
Now, most people think it's pretty complicated to create some of these things.

1201
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,520
We saw one easy version over there.

1202
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,600
Show us how easy it is to use live motion.

1203
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:42,260
Sure.

1204
00:55:42,260 --> 00:55:43,980
Well, we go ahead to the screen here.

1205
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:48,300
We have the beginnings of an introduction animation to a website.

1206
00:55:48,900 --> 00:55:50,760
And at the bottom of the screen, we have the timeline.

1207
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,760
The timeline basically moves through time.

1208
00:55:52,940 --> 00:55:53,920
Timeline velocity.

1209
00:55:54,180 --> 00:55:55,120
So you move back and forth.

1210
00:55:55,180 --> 00:55:58,640
And you can see that I have different layers of information.

1211
00:55:59,380 --> 00:55:59,800
But what I want.

1212
00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:00,320
GMLB.

1213
00:56:00,420 --> 00:56:01,940
Do you see your man riding the globe trophy?

1214
00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:02,380
Yeah.

1215
00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:03,200
We watched it.

1216
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,820
We desiccated, decimated it.

1217
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:10,300
We dissected it earlier on and went through the fucking different images of it.

1218
00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:13,720
And that's on the first stream of the day.

1219
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:15,620
And what else?

1220
00:56:15,700 --> 00:56:16,860
The messy we've seen.

1221
00:56:17,060 --> 00:56:17,760
Salt B.

1222
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:19,660
Strong arm and messy.

1223
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:20,360
And getting in.

1224
00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:24,040
Just really gigging in on the whole fucking winner's ceremony.

1225
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:25,860
How did he even get on the pitch?

1226
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:26,800
You know?

1227
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:28,160
Crazy bit of business.

1228
00:56:28,300 --> 00:56:28,940
With some new animation.

1229
00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:32,360
We'll have a look at the news in a minute and check and see if there's any developments on it.

1230
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:34,040
Again, I have a document on my desktop.

1231
00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:35,880
This is, again, a Photoshop file.

1232
00:56:35,980 --> 00:56:36,720
It's very popular.

1233
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,960
Over 90% of the web pages have images created with Photoshop on them.

1234
00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:43,200
So I simply drag and drop.

1235
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,000
And I end up with an image on the screen.

1236
00:56:47,340 --> 00:56:49,860
That is this Photoshop animation.

1237
00:56:50,780 --> 00:56:52,140
Actually, a Photoshop photograph.

1238
00:56:52,140 --> 00:56:52,640
Right, right.

1239
00:56:52,740 --> 00:56:54,960
Which originally actually has two layers.

1240
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,280
The sky is one layer and the sky is another layer.

1241
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,820
You probably don't want to animate the sky, right?

1242
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:02,040
Well, it would look a little funny to have the sky move so quickly.

1243
00:57:02,460 --> 00:57:04,780
So, again, thanks to the integration between our products.

1244
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:07,640
Really excited to see what he does with this now.

1245
00:57:07,780 --> 00:57:09,360
It's fucking mind-blowing.

1246
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,960
I will convert the layers into separate objects.

1247
00:57:12,100 --> 00:57:14,460
So I can now, in this case, delete just the sky.

1248
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:15,040
Okay.

1249
00:57:15,240 --> 00:57:16,920
And now you want to animate the skier guy.

1250
00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:19,240
Let's use the skier here and animate him.

1251
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,000
We can, of course, resize him.

1252
00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:21,560
Wow.

1253
00:57:21,940 --> 00:57:27,520
And what I can do here is, if I point out the timeline, automatically I have a layer.

1254
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,380
And it's called skier because of the integration between our products.

1255
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:31,160
Skier layer.

1256
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,500
I named it in Photoshop.

1257
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,860
And I've just twirled down these little keyframes.

1258
00:57:35,940 --> 00:57:38,540
And the keyframe is basically setting a point in time.

1259
00:57:38,540 --> 00:57:40,680
So you're going to create a little path for the animation here?

1260
00:57:40,700 --> 00:57:41,000
Exactly.

1261
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,860
So the first thing I'm telling you is at this point in time, you see the little black dot.

1262
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:46,560
This is where I want you to be.

1263
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,640
X and Y coordinates on the screen.

1264
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,380
Next, I'll move my cursor to the end of the animation.

1265
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:52,400
Oh, for folks' sake.

1266
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:52,840
Come on.

1267
00:57:54,300 --> 00:57:55,000
For $99.

1268
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:55,700
Cool.

1269
00:57:56,060 --> 00:57:57,680
And live motions, less than $100.

1270
00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,400
Mark, thank you very much.

1271
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,340
Coming up next, a guy using JavaScript.

1272
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,120
Well, they were JavaScript.

1273
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:04,580
They were both happy with that.

1274
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:04,980
And live motions.

1275
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,380
And Stu's really happy with that as well.

1276
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,500
I think he was just happy to be in the presence of a fucking PowerBook owner.

1277
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:11,720
A G4.

1278
00:58:11,900 --> 00:58:12,360
That's $100.

1279
00:58:12,620 --> 00:58:14,100
Mark, thank you very much.

1280
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:17,440
Coming up next, a guy using JavaScript on your website.

1281
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:18,220
Don't go away.

1282
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:18,980
We'll be right back.

1283
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:35,680
If you really want a hot website that does things and is...

1284
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:36,240
Shit.

1285
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,360
...interactive, you need JavaScript.

1286
00:58:38,900 --> 00:58:41,120
And here to give us some of the basics on using JavaScript...

1287
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:45,260
Is Jimmy Java from Java Beanland.

1288
00:58:45,260 --> 00:58:46,860
Your website is Danny Goodman.

1289
00:58:47,340 --> 00:58:48,400
Danny Java.

1290
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,720
Author of the JavaScript Bible.

1291
00:58:50,940 --> 00:58:53,380
Author of Java or Bust.

1292
00:58:53,580 --> 00:58:57,420
...pages worth of JavaScript, so you must be the author, the expert of the Bible there.

1293
00:58:57,540 --> 00:58:57,940
We'll see.

1294
00:58:58,220 --> 00:58:58,500
Okay.

1295
00:58:58,980 --> 00:58:59,940
We'll see.

1296
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,620
Danny, first of all, let's define our terms.

1297
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,000
It's called JavaScript, and people talk about Java.

1298
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,760
What exactly is JavaScript, and how is it different from playing Java?

1299
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,660
There are two very different technologies, Java.

1300
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:10,840
And this is a great setup as well.

1301
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:14,720
It's denim with smart, casual sort of vibe.

1302
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,240
You know, it's a gigantic jacket.

1303
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:24,540
And then you've got the kind of probably straight, straight leg jeans.

1304
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:30,560
And he's gone for the blue shirt underneath there as well.

1305
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:31,400
Let's get some...

1306
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:32,800
There'll be a frontal shot coming up.

1307
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,060
Java was developed by Sun.

1308
00:59:34,060 --> 00:59:35,620
And it's used primarily on the...

1309
00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:37,540
Developed by Sun.

1310
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:45,280
And this is the green screen outline of the fella from the first bit that we've seen.

1311
00:59:46,300 --> 00:59:47,060
Crazy bit of business.

1312
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:48,160
...server programming now.

1313
00:59:48,460 --> 00:59:52,560
JavaScript is a general purpose, standards-based language.

1314
00:59:52,940 --> 00:59:55,220
Fucking George Lucas is after you, man.

1315
00:59:56,300 --> 00:59:57,420
Luke Georges.

1316
00:59:58,540 --> 01:00:00,520
He's fucking Georges, man.

1317
01:00:01,780 --> 01:00:04,040
...language that was developed at Netscape.

1318
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,600
And it's used extensively now in web browsers.

1319
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,520
Most of the modern browsers we use now.

1320
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,020
All right.

1321
01:00:09,020 --> 01:00:13,420
Now, what is the value of putting some JavaScript applications into my website?

1322
01:00:13,420 --> 01:00:15,260
When and how should I use JavaScript?

1323
01:00:15,260 --> 01:00:20,600
The way I like to use it is as an additive to your content.

1324
01:00:20,660 --> 01:00:27,140
So that someone who has a script-enabled browser has a better experience than someone who does not have a script-enabled browser.

1325
01:00:27,140 --> 01:00:39,140
All right. Well, let's explain what you mean by that. I mean, so what are some of the things you can do by inserting JavaScript? Like, I know you have one example of updating, making sure things are timely rather than just sort of static, stale content. How does that work?

1326
01:00:39,140 --> 01:00:52,700
Well, at my own website, I have pages that list the errata for my books. Let's see it. You may have visited six months ago, and I've done many updates irregularly over that period.

1327
01:00:52,700 --> 01:01:07,460
and Jerry Adams kind of a person that people saw saw or the people are what you want to see what's

1328
01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:24,500
about new we're nature we need to investigate as collision between government and you you need but what we were like

1329
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:34,820
to say first a process of this and renegotiations and get forward and move through with the computer

1330
01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:41,940
chronicles but what we need to investigate is collusion between JavaScript and Netscript browsers

1331
01:01:43,380 --> 01:01:49,700
all right so what else Jerry so without the JavaScript I go there and I would see all the

1332
01:01:49,700 --> 01:01:54,020
same stuff I saw before with JavaScript it's smart enough to know when the last time I was there right

1333
01:01:54,020 --> 01:01:59,300
and only count from there on new items are flagged like on this page new items are show with a little

1334
01:01:59,300 --> 01:02:04,640
icon that indicate that this is new for you and none of this information is stored on the server it's

1335
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:08,960
all done locally okay so essentially the JavaScript now is tagging the specific things that are important

1336
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:14,880
to me as the individual user so there's a big benefit there okay what other examples of things we could do

1337
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:42,880
what else JavaScript is an additive on our website um for instance uh never have I ever ever ever been a member of the JavaScript community ever and I can tell you that unequivocally right now all right Jerry what else what else well that's up with us yeah yeah yeah yeah mm-hmm

1338
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:52,160
enhanced interface. We got an enhanced interface on this right here, right now. Don't go away,

1339
01:02:52,160 --> 01:03:00,260
because when we come back, we got an enhanced interface on this website right here, right now.

1340
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:06,140
Javid the host, thank you very much. Jackie, thank you very much as well.

1341
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:10,640
Thanks to it, so that if you want to find out the value of a resistor component, for instance,

1342
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:23,080
we're doing things here locally by changing images and performing calculations that don't have to go back to the server. We're manipulating all of the objects on the screen here and locally and instantaneously.

1343
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:31,160
All right, so what we're doing here, instead of just doing the calculating numbers, you're actually also in real time changing the appropriate colors on the resistor so we can see what those numbers represent.

1344
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:40,600
And we're using the brains of the computer, the local computer. Right, again, not on the server, it's sitting right in here. Now let's talk about, we're not going to do this in a couple of minutes,

1345
01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:52,600
Okay, Jerry, let's talk about, and well, Republican devices, how you create JavaScript. Just give us a simple example of adding a piece of JavaScript code. Well, JavaScript goes in the HTML doc.

1346
01:03:52,600 --> 01:04:21,600
Well, never have I ever, ever, ever utilized a HTML document. And we can see here's JavaScript right here, right now. And what this will tell you is, if you look deeply into it, that I never, ever was a member of the JavaScript community. Not once, not twice, not three times a lady. And what's more, Netscape. It's not working. It doesn't work unless you have them on the screen, really.

1347
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:50,600
All right. All right. All right. Now tell me about the loyal. Okay. Okay. Okay. What else would I have to do to gain access to Northern Ireland? All right. Okay. Jerry, tell me what went on up north? Was it nice? Or was it bad? And did you have the technology to deal with the situation up there? Well, the technology is a different question. And I have to, I have to come back to you on that one later on.

1348
01:04:50,600 --> 01:05:17,180
I'll see you on that one later on. But I just need to reiterate the initial point that I made in the first place was that I never, ever used Mac. I was, I was a hundred, a hundred percent PC. I went with 95, 96 and 97. I'd never, ever, ever, ever used a Macintosh computer. And you can, you can fact check that. You can fact check that's true. I promise you that.

1349
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:25,540
All right. All right. So you never use the Mac. All right. Never. All right. So you never use a Mac.

1350
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:40,840
Never. Uh, it's not even in my interest to use a Mac. Okay. So tell me about the handheld loyalist devices and the collusion between the British government and the RUC.

1351
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:48,980
Yeah. Well, we have information that came through secret domain, uh, pipelines through JavaScript that actually, um,

1352
01:05:49,540 --> 01:06:05,540
So that, yeah, that there was collusion. Uh, until we investigate that, we will never be able to move forward in the North. Uh, whether or not it's a North, Northern Ireland used, utilizing JavaScript or a, uh, Northern Ireland utilizing Macintosh.

1353
01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:17,540
All right. That's very nice. We got some good loyalist information. And how about handheld? So I can't, I can't keep up with this.

1354
01:06:19,540 --> 01:06:26,480
Can't keep up with George, George Lucas and Shafay. So we just need to carry on as normal. Compatible to your browser.

1355
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:39,420
So this is the index page and you choose the, whatever chapter you want and it lists the, the, uh, the, uh, listings for that particular chapter. And it highlights which ones in color are compatible with this browser.

1356
01:06:39,420 --> 01:06:44,420
And this is something that might've been a collection of all these separate pages. You can bring all this information together in one sort of page.

1357
01:06:44,420 --> 01:06:48,260
and bring all these paramiliteries together in one type package.

1358
01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:49,040
Thank you very much, Danny.

1359
01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:49,620
Thank you.

1360
01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:50,440
Thank you very much, Jerry.

1361
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:53,840
All right, well, you can have all the exotic elements ever invented on your website

1362
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:58,700
and still have a lousy website, one that's hard to use, slow to load, or just plain confusing.

1363
01:06:58,820 --> 01:07:04,320
Here to guide us through the secrets of web usability is one of the world's leading experts on the subject,

1364
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:05,120
Jacob Nielsen.

1365
01:07:05,180 --> 01:07:05,700
Welcome, Jacob.

1366
01:07:05,900 --> 01:07:06,320
Thanks, John.

1367
01:07:06,540 --> 01:07:07,840
All right, let's go through some examples.

1368
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:10,980
I want to just call up some websites, and I want you to play critic here.

1369
01:07:11,060 --> 01:07:12,100
You can be the movie critic here.

1370
01:07:12,180 --> 01:07:12,400
I do.

1371
01:07:12,460 --> 01:07:14,300
Why it's good or why it's bad, okay?

1372
01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:24,140
And let's start with one.

1373
01:07:24,140 --> 01:07:41,580
I know you have some issues with this one.

1374
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:44,420
Well, we'll pull it up here and see what happens.

1375
01:07:45,780 --> 01:07:47,060
And what is this website for?

1376
01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:49,400
It's for pens, very nice pens, I should say.

1377
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:50,340
Okay, so you're buying them all long pens.

1378
01:07:50,420 --> 01:07:50,880
Yeah, they're very nice pens.

1379
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:52,740
You've got some nice pens going right here.

1380
01:07:52,780 --> 01:07:54,200
We still don't actually know what it's about.

1381
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:55,200
Where is my experience?

1382
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:58,640
We're just waiting and waiting, so it's loading and it's loading and it's loading.

1383
01:07:59,060 --> 01:08:00,960
So it's trying to put this big flash opening up.

1384
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:05,060
Yeah, it is, and we're still waiting, and we probably even have a fast connection here in the studio.

1385
01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:11,720
So now we've finally got their logo and some little shading thing, and I'm asking, was this worth waiting for?

1386
01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:13,020
And I say no.

1387
01:08:13,020 --> 01:08:15,040
Yeah, but a lot of sites do this.

1388
01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:20,240
They just put all this cutesy junk up, which the guy who wrote it may love, but a user is on to another website by now.

1389
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:22,100
Don't put these barriers in my way.

1390
01:08:22,220 --> 01:08:23,620
Get me right to where I want.

1391
01:08:23,940 --> 01:08:24,340
Whoa.

1392
01:08:24,460 --> 01:08:25,080
And one of the...

1393
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:27,260
It's a fucking definite article.

1394
01:08:27,580 --> 01:08:29,160
Slap master flash.

1395
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,260
Thank you very much, Hugh Lowry there.

1396
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:33,360
Three in one day.

1397
01:08:34,140 --> 01:08:35,240
You better believe it.

1398
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:42,420
And slap master gash right here, really fucking laying down the law with a fist slap into the palm.

1399
01:08:42,980 --> 01:08:44,120
You don't want to fuck with this guy.

1400
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:50,820
This is one Francis Dollarhide that is ready to do some damage in the fucking information superhighway world.

1401
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,640
Don't put these barriers in my way.

1402
01:08:52,820 --> 01:08:55,540
Get the fuck out of my way.

1403
01:08:56,180 --> 01:08:57,980
I'm Jake Jakob Nielsen.

1404
01:08:58,060 --> 01:08:59,340
Get the fuck out of my way.

1405
01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:02,660
Don't put these barriers in my way.

1406
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:04,540
Get out of my PC.

1407
01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:08,960
But you as a user, you're going to another website by now.

1408
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:10,820
Don't put these barriers in my way.

1409
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:12,640
Get me right to where I want.

1410
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:13,580
Get me right to where I want.

1411
01:09:13,580 --> 01:09:15,540
Get me right to where I want.

1412
01:09:15,540 --> 01:09:17,460
Get me right to where I want.

1413
01:09:17,460 --> 01:09:19,580
Get me right to where I want.

1414
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:21,700
Get me right to where I want.

1415
01:09:21,700 --> 01:09:23,620
And one way they pop up.

1416
01:09:23,620 --> 01:09:24,660
It's separate window.

1417
01:09:24,660 --> 01:09:25,860
Why do that?

1418
01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:27,920
I mean, separate window?

1419
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:29,860
Why do that?

1420
01:09:29,860 --> 01:09:31,340
Behind it is my original window.

1421
01:09:31,340 --> 01:09:32,420
But why do the separate windows?

1422
01:09:32,420 --> 01:09:33,420
It doesn't do you know.

1423
01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:33,920
All right.

1424
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:35,420
That's got an interesting with the Sony website.

1425
01:09:35,420 --> 01:09:35,920
Right.

1426
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:38,760
Now, you would think that'd be pretty cool, but you have some issues with that one.

1427
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:39,200
Right.

1428
01:09:39,380 --> 01:09:41,620
Just close the off the Mont Blanc website and let's go to Sony.

1429
01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:47,640
Well, first of all, you've got to actually pick it out of a W in your bookmark list because they happen to call the site.

1430
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:48,760
Welcome to Sony.

1431
01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:49,200
The Sony.

1432
01:09:49,540 --> 01:09:49,880
It comes up on the website.

1433
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:50,840
Stu likes the energy.

1434
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:52,580
Does Stu like the energy?

1435
01:09:52,820 --> 01:09:56,580
Stu likes the energy because it's a man who knows what the fuck he's on about.

1436
01:09:56,700 --> 01:09:57,660
He's taking control.

1437
01:09:58,440 --> 01:09:59,640
Thank you very much, Barrier.

1438
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:06,340
Who doesn't like anyone who's just a salesperson or has no charisma or anything?

1439
01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:24,580
And Stu can see that the common man, the layman, will identify with Jakob Nielsen's hand punches and kind of vitriolic response to the websites there.

1440
01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:26,560
They're kind of, this is shit.

1441
01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:28,060
Get out of my way.

1442
01:10:28,260 --> 01:10:29,520
Get me into this.

1443
01:10:29,620 --> 01:10:32,400
Get the fuck out of my computer, you know?

1444
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:37,280
And Stu likes that because it's grabbing the bull by the horns.

1445
01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:38,420
It's a separate window.

1446
01:10:38,940 --> 01:10:39,800
Why do that?

1447
01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:41,700
I mean, Stu does like it.

1448
01:10:42,380 --> 01:10:45,560
Stu does like your man's energy.

1449
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,800
Behind it is, and one of the things, they pop up, it's a separate window.

1450
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:50,280
Why do that?

1451
01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:53,380
I mean, behind it is my original window, but why do the separate windows?

1452
01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:54,120
It doesn't do anything.

1453
01:10:54,380 --> 01:10:56,300
All right, that's got an interesting one, the Sony website.

1454
01:10:56,440 --> 01:10:56,680
Right.

1455
01:10:56,780 --> 01:10:59,120
Now, you would think that'd be pretty cool, but you have some issues with that one.

1456
01:10:59,240 --> 01:10:59,560
Right.

1457
01:10:59,740 --> 01:11:02,000
Just close the off the Mont Blanc website and let's go to Sony.

1458
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:06,600
Well, first of all, you've got to actually pick it out of the W in your bookmark list because

1459
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:09,180
they happen to call the site Welcome to Sony.

1460
01:11:09,180 --> 01:11:09,580
Sorry.

1461
01:11:09,580 --> 01:11:13,740
Out of the W in your bookmark list because they happen to call the site Welcome to Sony.

1462
01:11:13,740 --> 01:11:17,460
So if you're looking for Sony, it comes up under W, not S, which is pretty dumb.

1463
01:11:17,500 --> 01:11:21,260
Now, I only have a few in this particular list, but if you have many bookmarks, many people do.

1464
01:11:21,260 --> 01:11:22,180
All right, so let's pull up the Sony site.

1465
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:23,140
So we pull up the Sony site.

1466
01:11:23,140 --> 01:11:24,200
What are the problems here?

1467
01:11:24,620 --> 01:11:26,300
Doesn't like the bookmark bar.

1468
01:11:26,380 --> 01:11:29,500
Well, we're still waiting, but it's not actually nearly as bad as the previous one.

1469
01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:32,120
That looks rubbish, isn't it?

1470
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:32,620
For Sony.

1471
01:11:33,380 --> 01:11:34,220
Big company.

1472
01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:35,880
Big, big company.

1473
01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:36,980
Big, deep pockets.

1474
01:11:37,580 --> 01:11:38,200
Shit website.

1475
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:39,800
2001.

1476
01:11:40,940 --> 01:11:44,920
The only one I do here is to buy a cable for my Sony laptop, which I happen to have.

1477
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:45,960
It's a very nice machine.

1478
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:46,320
Okay.

1479
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:47,100
And to do that...

1480
01:11:47,100 --> 01:11:48,740
These adverts here.

1481
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:49,100
What's this?

1482
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:49,520
Turner.

1483
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:50,360
Tanaris.

1484
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:51,800
Is that a Sony thing?

1485
01:11:51,940 --> 01:11:54,460
Is Fang Vision a Sony thing?

1486
01:11:55,140 --> 01:11:55,680
J-Lo.

1487
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,280
And Sony Vega Television.

1488
01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:06,080
It's like third party ads on a fucking flagship website for a major electronics brand.

1489
01:12:06,940 --> 01:12:09,540
Electronics bland by the fucking website.

1490
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:10,380
That sounds, huh?

1491
01:12:14,380 --> 01:12:16,480
I gotta go to this tiny little...

1492
01:12:16,480 --> 01:12:18,620
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

1493
01:12:19,380 --> 01:12:23,140
Golden Globe winner for the best foreign language film.

1494
01:12:23,220 --> 01:12:23,540
Menu.

1495
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:24,940
And I'm not getting...

1496
01:12:24,940 --> 01:12:26,840
Now I'm getting a post-it stamp size.

1497
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,040
Right.

1498
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:28,220
To actually scroll through...

1499
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:29,700
Of course you're not gonna see the word cable anywhere.

1500
01:12:29,700 --> 01:12:30,320
No, no, no.

1501
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,200
I gotta kind of pick it out on electronics.

1502
01:12:32,260 --> 01:12:32,980
So you have to guess.

1503
01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:36,100
But the entire rest of the screen space is wasted.

1504
01:12:36,440 --> 01:12:40,740
And the little tiny menu is my only bet or only kind of way of navigating the website.

1505
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:44,520
So I pass to the computers and I go to get their computers.

1506
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:45,740
And...

1507
01:12:45,740 --> 01:12:47,020
And you haven't gotten any farther, really.

1508
01:12:47,140 --> 01:12:47,140
No.

1509
01:12:47,140 --> 01:12:48,800
And notice this is a completely different design.

1510
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:51,720
So if I learned the first design, I now have to learn something new.

1511
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:52,880
And you still don't know where cables are.

1512
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:53,620
I have no clue.

1513
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:56,320
And I gotta look at these tiny little pictures down here.

1514
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:57,900
Tiny little menu.

1515
01:12:58,100 --> 01:12:59,360
So I'm gonna click on that.

1516
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:01,360
And you know, it's quite a lot of clicks.

1517
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,040
And you still haven't gotten where you want to be.

1518
01:13:03,040 --> 01:13:03,420
Oh, no.

1519
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:03,740
All right.

1520
01:13:03,900 --> 01:13:05,780
About six more clicks, actually.

1521
01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:07,160
Let's go to another site.

1522
01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:07,880
The Pepsi site.

1523
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:08,300
Right.

1524
01:13:08,420 --> 01:13:09,100
Pepsi.com.

1525
01:13:09,140 --> 01:13:10,620
Again, you would think this would be a pretty cool site.

1526
01:13:10,740 --> 01:13:11,220
But you have a...

1527
01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:14,020
A pretty cool site for fucking sugar water.

1528
01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:15,980
We already had Coca-Cola earlier on.

1529
01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:18,680
I think there might have been a few backhanders going around.

1530
01:13:19,900 --> 01:13:23,760
We already know that stew was on the take from Israel.

1531
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:29,140
There was a bit of stew washing going on over in Israel.

1532
01:13:29,140 --> 01:13:31,760
We seen that on an episode there a couple of weeks ago.

1533
01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:35,120
Where they made a complete bump episode.

1534
01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:36,360
It was just a load of bump.

1535
01:13:36,900 --> 01:13:39,600
There was nothing exciting or interesting about it all.

1536
01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:42,140
Just companies over in Tel Aviv.

1537
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:43,720
Once due Uniflu.

1538
01:13:43,860 --> 01:13:44,640
Thank you very much.

1539
01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:45,760
Issues with that one.

1540
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:46,820
Well, Pepsi.

1541
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:47,480
I mean, maybe...

1542
01:13:47,480 --> 01:13:48,600
This is going to be good.

1543
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:49,380
This has to be good.

1544
01:13:49,480 --> 01:13:49,760
Pepsi.

1545
01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:50,220
Come on.

1546
01:13:50,400 --> 01:13:52,060
Big flagship brand.

1547
01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:54,400
Deepest pockets in the business, no?

1548
01:13:55,840 --> 01:13:57,320
Messi's on their books in the future.

1549
01:13:57,580 --> 01:13:59,100
Fucking Pogba and the boys.

1550
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:00,840
Fucking...

1551
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:04,920
I don't know who was flagging their fucking wares back in 2001.

1552
01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:09,640
But you have to imagine they had money to throw at shite.

1553
01:14:10,020 --> 01:14:12,480
Maybe to be fair to them, it's hard to see what they really can do.

1554
01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:14,960
Because you cannot take a taste test on the web.

1555
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:15,340
But...

1556
01:14:15,340 --> 01:14:16,620
What are you going to do on a Pepsi website?

1557
01:14:16,620 --> 01:14:17,040
What are you going to do?

1558
01:14:17,100 --> 01:14:17,320
Right.

1559
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,320
They really don't have...

1560
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:22,100
What the fuck are you going to do with Pepsi on the web, right?

1561
01:14:22,140 --> 01:14:23,480
You want to drink that shit.

1562
01:14:24,780 --> 01:14:25,600
Win a computer.

1563
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:27,060
Two for the road.

1564
01:14:30,700 --> 01:14:32,060
Two for the road.

1565
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,780
Have anything really...

1566
01:14:36,780 --> 01:14:38,700
I mean, they have these little blinking, moving things.

1567
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:39,780
But not anything really useful.

1568
01:14:39,780 --> 01:14:42,780
And of course, you don't get to see everything that's up there right now because of the way it's designed.

1569
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:43,680
Oh, we have to scroll forever.

1570
01:14:43,800 --> 01:14:45,520
Look, when I scroll here...

1571
01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:45,700
Yes.

1572
01:14:45,700 --> 01:14:48,300
Only about half of my screen space is really active.

1573
01:14:48,300 --> 01:14:49,300
The other...

1574
01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:51,380
Pepsi's getting fucking wrecked here.

1575
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:53,760
Absolutely wrecked.

1576
01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:55,140
But not anything really useful.

1577
01:14:55,140 --> 01:14:58,200
And of course, you don't get to see everything that's up there right now because of the way it's designed.

1578
01:14:58,200 --> 01:14:59,180
Oh, we have to scroll forever.

1579
01:14:59,300 --> 01:15:00,100
Look, when I scroll here...

1580
01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:00,400
Oh!

1581
01:15:01,060 --> 01:15:04,980
...scroll here, only about half of my screen space is really active.

1582
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:10,360
The other half is part of the top and part of the side are kind of being wasted, being static,

1583
01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:12,820
because they're using frames, which is usually a bad thing to do.

1584
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:13,860
All right, let's go to another one.

1585
01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:15,380
It's fucking rubbish.

1586
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:16,100
It's wobbling.

1587
01:15:16,100 --> 01:15:19,080
It's like a wibbly-wobbly wonder every time he moves up and down.

1588
01:15:19,180 --> 01:15:20,100
The site's going...

1589
01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:22,100
Terrible graphics.

1590
01:15:23,140 --> 01:15:24,700
Our Panda, thank you very much.

1591
01:15:25,480 --> 01:15:26,080
Sony's...

1592
01:15:26,080 --> 01:15:27,120
Sony's site?

1593
01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:28,860
Still shite, you say.

1594
01:15:29,740 --> 01:15:30,540
Interesting, right?

1595
01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:32,680
How have they not fucking sorted that one out?

1596
01:15:32,680 --> 01:15:33,680
On the USPS...

1597
01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:34,580
Right.

1598
01:15:34,580 --> 01:15:36,980
Why am I getting so aggressive about that?

1599
01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:37,480
I don't know.

1600
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:47,440
But it's great to see these guys getting taken down a peg or two by the stew man and his brand new fucking forever friend, Jakob Nielsen.

1601
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:48,500
Thank you very much, Barry.

1602
01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:57,200
I'm going to the Post Office or Postal Service, as they call it. And this is very fast, I should say that. Yeah. Another thing that's very good about this is the meme in web design is really...

1603
01:15:57,200 --> 01:16:09,820
A lot of love for the Post Office over there. People... Yeah. What they're there for and why am I going to the Post Office? Well, to find, well, often the Postal Rate... And it's right there in front of you. Right here in front of me. Click. Boom. You got the answer. Book. Book. Catholic. Convested. Posted. International Posted. No. How...

1604
01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:12,820
Sony Style. Thanks very much.

1605
01:16:12,820 --> 01:16:38,820
However, a bad thing is, if I want the International Posted Rate, it's going to give me a PDF file. And so wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The bad thing is... It does sound like Anna Delvey. And PDFs would just be banned from the web, except for if you want to download a big... Bit of Anna Delvey, a bit of, uh, Tommy Whistle, maybe? Yeah, yeah. And who needs it just to look at Posted Rate? Yeah, I just... Oh, hi Stu.

1606
01:16:38,820 --> 01:16:45,600
It's just really... And see, even only one page actually. What? I did not like that site. I did not. Oh, hi Stu.

1607
01:16:45,740 --> 01:17:07,820
It's at a .com. That's confusing in the first place, right? Yeah, it really should be .gov. Yeah. So they did make that mistake as well. Let's go to another one, Williams-Sonoma, which is a site I know you think is well-designed. Right. I think this is actually... Right. ...that site because they have, uh, you know, a lot of nice little clean photographs. Notice how fast they come down because they're very small and very clean. And they really give an overview of all the different things they sell. And what happens if you drill down here?

1608
01:17:07,820 --> 01:17:14,600
Let's make a paid product that someone has given Stu some money to fucking feature this, I think. Or at least Jacob has. Yakub.

1609
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:17,600
This is Jakob's fucking company.

1610
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:43,600
What the fuck were Pepsi thinking? Just a barrage of shite that was meaningless.

1611
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:49,000
There was no need for it. But then you think, what is the fucking need for a website? What can they do? They can't do anything.

1612
01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:54,920
Be interested to see what they're doing now. Probably just some more giveaways. Just giveaways and fucking rubbish.

1613
01:17:55,460 --> 01:18:03,800
Like, obviously, they're comparing apples with oranges here. Pepsi don't really have anything to fucking sell unless they've...

1614
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:12,600
What do they do? These soft drink companies, usually they have, like, promotions on the cans where they can collect tokens and get a fucking DVD...

1615
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:15,080
Not a DVD. Back then, it probably was a DVD player.

1616
01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:18,000
But it takes two...

1617
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:18,980
It takes Stu to tango.

1618
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:28,440
But they're comparing Pepsi, a behemoth company, with a dinnerware company. And our team is another dinnerware company. And it's like...

1619
01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:39,340
Yeah, so the dinnerware company, they sell the pasta bowl. And it's a great usage of the graphic. It's not superfluous, blah, blah, blah. But what can fucking Pepsi do?

1620
01:18:39,440 --> 01:18:49,680
They shouldn't even be on the net. Anyway, they should just be selling sugar water and that's it. No one's gonna fucking be interested in buying more Pepsi because they were on the Pepsi.com site.

1621
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:54,760
Kind of a great site, which is Amazon.com. Right. Amazon is actually... And explain why you think it's such a great site.

1622
01:18:54,760 --> 01:19:12,140
Connor F., thank you very much. Connor F., and Tommy Wiseau. Thank you very much. It's just really easy to find the books, which is, like, why you are there. And that's why they sell so much, because it's easier to get to. And you can do things like, you know, searches, of course, right there. And you often want to do searches.

1623
01:19:12,140 --> 01:19:14,920
Some classic Amazon. Classic Amazon.

1624
01:19:17,940 --> 01:19:29,360
I misspelled his name. Danny Gottman, rather than... Danny Gottman. Danny Gottman book. We're going to misspelled this, see what happens. And I tell you, because I actually tried it, you know, it does bring...

1625
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:39,240
Look at how slow it is. Fucking, we have come so far. You click go on that, and we're still waiting. That's 10 minutes ago. You click that. And a lot of websites, if you misspelled it, it's gonna say...

1626
01:19:39,240 --> 01:19:42,080
Yeah, and there we go. Figured it out. Yeah. It's gonna say, no, no, we're not gonna sell to you.

1627
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:46,120
If you were so stupid, you know, all the cute things in the world solve the user's problem.

1628
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:50,120
Exactly. Jacob, thank you very much. Thank you very much, Jacob. That's it for a look at website design.

1629
01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:55,960
I'll be back in just a moment with my Pick of the Week, a cool way to access any website without wires. Don't go away.

1630
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:09,260
Now for my Pick of the Week. If you're hooked on the web and the internet, you always want to have access.

1631
01:20:09,260 --> 01:20:15,300
But right now, that's not so easy. You usually need to be near a network outlet or an RJ11 jack.

1632
01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:40,960
You got that jack? Yo, I need to hook up with a jack. You know someone who's got an RJ11 jack? Yeah, hold on. I can get you hooked up. It's gonna cost you, though. How much? Five grand. Ain't got that kind of money, player. You got... You can't play. You can't... You can't pay. You can't play, dog.

1633
01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:49,000
I've tried web-enabled cell phones, but it's kind of frustrating that I finally found the perfect solution. And this is it. The Ricochet wireless modem.

1634
01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:54,000
Whoa. Ricochet has been around for a while, but it used to be a rather big, clunky thing that wasn't too reliable.

1635
01:20:54,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Clunkers, donkers. This is the newest... Jack me in, yo. ...version, small and portable at ways... Hey, yo, jack me in. ...less than a pound. There's a much bigger nationwide network... Jesus, Francis. What's the obsession with old tech demos? Says Deep... Deep Digger.

1636
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:35,440
Deep Digger. This is not an old tech demo. It's a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles. You might have seen me watching a thousand of them before. That's pretty much it, man. Work out there and it is fast up to all... This face, look. It's just a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles, man. You fucking might have seen me watching it before. It's just that, man. It's just that, man.

1637
01:21:35,440 --> 01:21:49,020
I think you'll find it's not a tech demo. It's a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles. I've seen a thousand of them before. It's just that, man. It's just that, man.

1638
01:21:50,020 --> 01:22:05,320
128 kilobits per second. Just plug it into the USB port on your laptop and you can surf the web anywhere. In the back of a cab in an airplane while you're on the ground or sitting out by the swimming pool. The service is very good and it is a terrific solution to always having weather.

1639
01:22:05,740 --> 01:22:22,140
And hell, loyalist console device. Thank you very much. Can I get a shout out for Sienna who passed her driving test? Big, big, big shout out to Sienna there. Well done on the driving and the grieving mode. Have you ever seen the series Download the True Story of the Internet? I haven't.

1640
01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:35,860
Just to really answer the question there, Deep Digger, I know what you're getting at. The obsession would be that it's... I don't know. I don't know why. I like seeing this stuff.

1641
01:22:35,860 --> 01:22:49,000
And I was enraged at the start of this stream because we were apparently in the fucking age of unparalleled technological advancements and media.

1642
01:22:49,240 --> 01:22:52,100
Give it to me now on a whim sort of shit.

1643
01:22:52,700 --> 01:22:55,200
And it was a failure. It was an absolute fucking disaster.

1644
01:22:55,340 --> 01:23:02,660
Tried to play... I installed 75 gigabytes worth of game off of a fucking Game Pass for the Xbox and it doesn't work.

1645
01:23:02,660 --> 01:23:08,100
And you look back at this and it's clunky McDonkerson's fucking trip to Spaceland.

1646
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:11,380
But it works. The stuff works.

1647
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:14,500
It was slow. It was shit. Didn't look appealing.

1648
01:23:15,140 --> 01:23:16,160
But it worked.

1649
01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:19,460
And nowadays, we're just...

1650
01:23:19,460 --> 01:23:23,840
It's like a microtransaction freeway.

1651
01:23:27,180 --> 01:23:29,100
Subscriptions. It's just subscriptions.

1652
01:23:29,240 --> 01:23:29,680
Subscriptions.

1653
01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:32,040
Subscriptions. It's just...

1654
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:34,980
I don't know. I can't... I can't...

1655
01:23:34,980 --> 01:23:37,040
Maybe I'll try and write it down.

1656
01:23:37,180 --> 01:23:37,740
But I don't know.

1657
01:23:37,840 --> 01:23:38,740
And I just...

1658
01:23:38,740 --> 01:23:41,060
There's a nostalgic element to it as well, you know.

1659
01:23:41,060 --> 01:23:45,040
But there might be a 9-11 buzz going on soon enough.

1660
01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:46,060
So...

1661
01:23:46,060 --> 01:23:49,780
Might take a shift from the technology to 9-11 at some stage.

1662
01:23:49,860 --> 01:23:51,000
But I don't think...

1663
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:54,060
I'd like to see maybe a 9-11 episode of Computer Chronicles.

1664
01:23:54,320 --> 01:23:56,060
Maybe the one straight after it happened.

1665
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:59,140
Web access on a full-fledged terminal like your laptop.

1666
01:23:59,580 --> 01:23:59,880
Notebook...

1667
01:23:59,880 --> 01:24:02,060
19 hijackers.

1668
01:24:02,260 --> 01:24:03,600
Compromises. Watch multimedia.

1669
01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:05,620
See full-page color displays.

1670
01:24:05,740 --> 01:24:06,440
Handle frames.

1671
01:24:07,080 --> 01:24:07,520
Utilized.

1672
01:24:07,660 --> 01:24:10,020
Flight lessons in Florida.

1673
01:24:11,620 --> 01:24:13,100
All without wires.

1674
01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:15,620
And box cutters to get on the plane.

1675
01:24:16,140 --> 01:24:18,620
Using the Ricochet wireless modem is not cheap.

1676
01:24:18,700 --> 01:24:20,240
It's about $75 a month.

1677
01:24:20,500 --> 01:24:26,220
But if you're a mobile professional and you want real, fast, wireless web access on your notebook computer,

1678
01:24:26,220 --> 01:24:29,520
it's probably worth the extra few hundred dollars a year.

1679
01:24:29,520 --> 01:24:31,760
That's it for this week's Computer Chronicles.

1680
01:24:31,760 --> 01:24:32,760
Thanks for joining us.

1681
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:39,040
If you have questions about anything you saw on this week's show, please check out our website at ComputerChronicles.org.

1682
01:24:39,040 --> 01:24:40,720
And I hope we'll see you here again next week.

1683
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:53,580
Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by PC2PC, the online computer migration service from PC First,

1684
01:24:53,960 --> 01:24:59,200
moving files, applications, and preferences from your old computer to your new one.

1685
01:24:59,260 --> 01:25:08,820
Additional support is provided by Upside Events, presenting the Digital Lifestyle Revolution Conference, where people and technology intersect.

1686
01:25:11,860 --> 01:25:20,800
To purchase a videotaped copy of today's program, call toll-free 1-888-310-7850.

1687
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:24,180
Please specify the show number and the topic.

1688
01:25:24,180 --> 01:25:24,660
Bye-bye.

1689
01:25:24,660 --> 01:25:24,860
Uh,

1690
01:25:24,860 --> 01:25:26,860
uh,

1691
01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,860
uh,

1692
01:25:28,860 --> 01:25:30,860
uh,

1693
01:25:30,860 --> 01:25:32,860
uh,

1694
01:25:32,860 --> 01:25:33,000
uh,

1695
01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:33,240
uh,

1696
01:25:33,240 --> 01:25:35,240
uh,

1697
01:25:35,240 --> 01:25:37,240
uh,

1698
01:25:37,240 --> 01:25:39,240
uh,

1699
01:25:39,240 --> 01:25:41,240
uh,

1700
01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:43,240
uh,

1701
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:45,240
uh,

1702
01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:47,240
uh,

1703
01:25:47,240 --> 01:26:17,220
Thank you.

1704
01:26:17,220 --> 01:26:47,200
Thank you very much there. That fella looked like he was crying in the thumbnail for travel planning. Just out of interest want to see what Pepsi are at with their outfit for tonight. Pepsi.com. How have they progressed? It's still shit. At least they've got high res enough images to be able to promote the different range of drinks. But it's still shit.

1705
01:26:47,200 --> 01:27:03,480
Still a load of crap and bumf, is it? Scroll down. Nitro. This is like, I actually don't want to get suckered into actually thinking this. I'm getting impressed now. I'm getting impressed and this was not the part of the agenda.

1706
01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:07,980
The auntie, thank you very much. And Barry and grieving Mo. Thank you very much.

1707
01:27:09,840 --> 01:27:22,600
That's like a Guinness Nitro Surge can, but it's a Pepsi. I'm just doing free advertising for the cunts now. I was trying to, I wanted to give out and to mock, but I'm actually pleasantly surprised.

1708
01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:32,040
What's this rubbish here? Look, they on the pulse follow Pepsi on socials. Let's see what their YouTube is packing.

1709
01:27:36,840 --> 01:27:37,360
Put loose.

1710
01:27:39,460 --> 01:27:42,280
This is one dirty soda Santa. Sounds.

1711
01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:52,780
This is their advert. Is it a sexy Santa Pepsi advert? I don't know if I should be even playing this for a piss take because it's like just giving them the free advertising.

1712
01:27:54,200 --> 01:28:08,160
I mean if I could just say, uh, don't fucking drink this absolute sick stuff. It's not good if you drink all this stuff. It's not good if you mix it with milk.

1713
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:12,780
If I just say subjective remarks, it should be okay, shouldn't it?

1714
01:28:13,780 --> 01:28:18,660
Fucking dirt. Absolute dirt. Don't bother drinking this muck.

1715
01:28:18,660 --> 01:28:20,860
That is one dirty soda Santa.

1716
01:28:20,860 --> 01:28:26,860
oh pilk and cookies

1717
01:28:26,860 --> 01:28:42,860
disgusting stuff what was the other company now sony let's have a look at them sony how are they

1718
01:28:42,860 --> 01:29:01,580
fucking fair enough load upon the salt snow holes there the last of us rubbish enough

1719
01:29:08,860 --> 01:29:15,260
tom hanks as a grumpy widower whose life gets turned around in the new film a man called otto

1720
01:29:17,340 --> 01:29:25,660
john otto hey take it to the matthews what is he doing parallel parking parallel to what

1721
01:29:28,220 --> 01:29:32,380
otto has seen it all yeah try

1722
01:29:32,380 --> 01:29:40,780
we get some generic code

1723
01:29:40,860 --> 01:29:49,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1724
01:29:49,340 --> 01:29:51,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1725
01:29:51,340 --> 01:29:53,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1726
01:29:53,340 --> 01:29:55,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1727
01:29:55,340 --> 01:29:57,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1728
01:29:57,340 --> 01:29:59,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1729
01:29:59,340 --> 01:30:01,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1730
01:30:01,340 --> 01:30:03,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1731
01:30:03,340 --> 01:30:05,340
we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here

1732
01:30:05,340 --> 01:30:15,740
This Christmas, Tom Hanks is in a brand new movie and he's had enough, but about to throw it all in front of a screen.

1733
01:30:15,740 --> 01:30:28,240
But a lot of times a woman who doesn't let him shut his door. She's got big ideas, and he's got a cat in the box.

1734
01:30:28,240 --> 01:30:55,140
It's a brand new cat for Tom Hanks. It's the powerhouse winner movie of the year. It's the movie critics are calling to feel good hate of your mother. Tom Hanks. And a brand new woman. A garage door and a car full of kids.

1735
01:30:55,140 --> 01:31:16,880
The man called Bottle. Life is like a cat in the box. Life is like a cat in the box. You never know what cat you're gonna get.

1736
01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:25,880
Tom Hanks' bottle. This January the 13th.

1737
01:31:37,880 --> 01:31:52,060
That fucking horrible music there. Sony site is rubbish. That's a big, big thumbs down from me on Sony's site. And also a kind of middling thumb for John Otto.

1738
01:31:52,600 --> 01:32:08,440
Tom Hanks' portrayal of the drummer from Limp Bizkit as he reaches old age. It's a feel good hit of the winter. Movies and TV relive the magic of time travel with this Outlander video. No thanks.

1739
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:17,720
Creative freedom. It's a new phone. Another new phone. Who gives a flying fuck about the new phones? They're all the same.

1740
01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:24,820
Do you know what? Those flagship new phones that they're bringing out. They're just piling them full of absolute cack.

1741
01:32:25,780 --> 01:32:34,760
Like now you can get a phone that has like a... What were they selling? Oh yeah, the iPhone. It tells you now if you've been in a car crash and died.

1742
01:32:35,420 --> 01:32:37,460
That's the feature they're fucking playing you with.

1743
01:32:39,140 --> 01:32:44,840
This phone now with the iPhone 14. We know if you've been in a car crash.

1744
01:32:48,040 --> 01:32:55,540
Get a grip. Get a fucking grip. I'm not going to pay a grand for a phone because it's just got a fucking death alert on it.

1745
01:32:57,040 --> 01:33:03,800
Presumably you're dying. You're in a car crash. People are going to see you're on a road unless you're in the middle of nowhere.

1746
01:33:05,940 --> 01:33:13,480
I can't think of any other ones but the features that these phones are coming out with now that they're trying to hook you in on.

1747
01:33:13,580 --> 01:33:14,740
Potty Bob, thank you very much.

1748
01:33:15,740 --> 01:33:18,060
Are a waste of time. Complete waste of time.

1749
01:33:19,640 --> 01:33:23,640
But they're only made to last three or four years anyway so they'll get you with that.

1750
01:33:23,740 --> 01:33:24,620
They'll get you with something.

1751
01:33:25,620 --> 01:33:28,420
Any old lolly stick to get your fucking pardon with your cash.

1752
01:33:29,380 --> 01:33:30,640
Christmas songs 2022.

1753
01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:33,240
I don't know how we got in here but we need to get out of here.

1754
01:33:33,300 --> 01:33:33,820
It's disgusting.

1755
01:33:34,300 --> 01:33:35,400
It's making me sick.

1756
01:33:37,180 --> 01:33:40,880
I don't think I want to go down this route of the travel planning online either.

1757
01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:55,980
Maybe it's worth watching the keynote for the latest Apple gadgets just to really get a fucking idea of where we're standing now with these guys.

1758
01:33:56,920 --> 01:33:59,300
In a post-jobs society.

1759
01:33:59,300 --> 01:34:02,780
Apple keynote.

1760
01:34:05,780 --> 01:34:06,660
Apple events.

1761
01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:07,780
This was three months ago.

1762
01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:14,900
Back to Hitman 3 Brooklyn.

1763
01:34:15,220 --> 01:34:15,820
I can't.

1764
01:34:15,940 --> 01:34:17,300
Hitman 3 is not even working.

1765
01:34:27,300 --> 01:34:27,900
Tim Apple.

1766
01:34:27,900 --> 01:34:27,900
Tim Apple.

1767
01:34:27,900 --> 01:34:28,780
On their own.

1768
01:34:28,780 --> 01:34:29,780
Each is industry leading.

1769
01:34:29,780 --> 01:34:29,780
Together.

1770
01:34:29,780 --> 01:34:30,780
They provide a magical experience.

1771
01:34:30,780 --> 01:34:31,720
With one tap.

1772
01:34:31,720 --> 01:34:32,780
AirPods are instantly set up.

1773
01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780
And ready to work with your iPhone and Apple watch.

1774
01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780
And automatic switching.

1775
01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780
Allows sound.

1776
01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:33,780
To move seamlessly.

1777
01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:33,780
Between any of your Apple devices.

1778
01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:33,780
There's also incredible integration.

1779
01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:40,260
iPhone and Apple watch.

1780
01:34:40,260 --> 01:34:42,260
And ready to work with your iPhone and Apple watch.

1781
01:34:42,260 --> 01:34:43,260
And automatic switching.

1782
01:34:43,260 --> 01:34:43,740
Allows sound.

1783
01:34:43,740 --> 01:34:44,320
And automatic switching.

1784
01:34:44,320 --> 01:34:44,740
Allows sound.

1785
01:34:44,740 --> 01:34:46,240
To move seamlessly.

1786
01:34:46,240 --> 01:34:48,240
Between any of your Apple devices.

1787
01:34:48,240 --> 01:34:50,740
There's also incredible integration.

1788
01:34:50,740 --> 01:34:53,200
Between iPhone and Apple watch.

1789
01:34:53,200 --> 01:34:54,200
Together.

1790
01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:55,580
They provide the convenience.

1791
01:34:55,580 --> 01:34:57,180
Of having your notifications.

1792
01:34:57,180 --> 01:34:58,340
And messages.

1793
01:34:58,340 --> 01:34:59,480
On your wrist.

1794
01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:00,480
And available.

1795
01:35:00,740 --> 01:35:01,960
With just a glance.

1796
01:35:02,740 --> 01:35:03,380
You can seamlessly.

1797
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:08,960
all phone calls just to know it's notifications non-stop you can set your destination on your

1798
01:35:08,960 --> 01:35:15,400
iPhone and your Apple watch will help guide you along the way and you buy any of it you know we're

1799
01:35:15,400 --> 01:35:23,180
going in the wrong direction big time constant notifications it's just not right I knew it 10

1800
01:35:23,180 --> 01:35:27,640
years ago when the iPhone when the phones came out and it was notifications for every app you

1801
01:35:27,640 --> 01:35:33,500
don't need notifications for every app you don't even need notifications for the messages

1802
01:35:33,500 --> 01:35:39,960
maybe the phone calls and the messages but then then WhatsApp has made groups and it's fucking

1803
01:35:39,960 --> 01:35:45,400
group messages and notifications for them it's just like where's the link there's no linearity in

1804
01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:52,640
thought anymore it's just a come a constant bombardment of attention grabbing bullshit

1805
01:35:52,640 --> 01:36:02,400
it doesn't stop and it's confusing very confusing and there's no way we're trapped we're fucking trapped

1806
01:36:03,260 --> 01:36:09,820
as I say to you from the from the comfort of for in a live stream on YouTube and it's probably

1807
01:36:09,820 --> 01:36:15,500
being watched on a phone I wouldn't even be able to do this live stream if I if we didn't have the

1808
01:36:15,500 --> 01:36:21,220
stuff I was giving out about so I can I can understand that but I mean it's not like I'm vying for a

1809
01:36:21,220 --> 01:36:28,300
notification for for attention with notifications all the time like shit other apps are the whole time you

1810
01:36:28,300 --> 01:36:29,160
know

1811
01:36:29,160 --> 01:36:33,660
I don't.

1812
01:36:33,660 --> 01:36:38,280
Users can even get their health and fitness data from Apple Watch and see it on the Health

1813
01:36:38,280 --> 01:36:44,120
App on their iPhone. These are just a few examples of the unique and powerful ways our

1814
01:36:44,120 --> 01:36:46,820
hardware and software are designed to work together.

1815
01:36:46,820 --> 01:36:47,820
Hardware.

1816
01:36:47,820 --> 01:36:53,360
Enhancing and enriching the experiences you have with these products. This type of integration

1817
01:36:53,360 --> 01:37:02,980
is something only Apple can do. And today we're going to make these products and these experiences.

1818
01:37:02,980 --> 01:37:03,980
This type of integration.

1819
01:37:03,980 --> 01:37:23,340
All right. Go here. It's been. Yeah, we need to go back really. It's no use looking at the

1820
01:37:23,340 --> 01:37:32,960
the most recent one. And I think I can't remember the name of the person who was asking me why. What's the obsession with the old tech videos?

1821
01:37:32,960 --> 01:37:53,320
Thank you very much. Elan's turd eye. It's no use looking at now. It's too confusing. So we need to go back to the genesis of the technology to be able to get an idea of what it was that originally made them unique and gave them a unique selling point. I know we obviously know that they make things a lot more easier and stuff like that, but it's only from

1822
01:37:53,320 --> 01:38:23,300
piecing together the clues from the past that we can kind of get an idea of where it's going. And it makes sense of some of the shit that there's fucking flogging at us now anyway. Because there's innovation, but there's also, they're locked in a battle with the constant churning need to make more and more money. So it's hard at times to really think, to take them seriously when they say this is the new innovation that's going to change things.

1823
01:38:23,300 --> 01:38:53,280
Let's have a look at this fucking iMac.

1824
01:38:53,280 --> 01:38:59,460
Because of this. I think there's a power Mac that has better resolution.

1825
01:39:06,280 --> 01:39:11,500
First surprise. Okay. Yeah, great stuff. First surprise. These were all big surprises back in the day.

1826
01:39:11,620 --> 01:39:19,860
You're familiar with our product line, how we've really focused our product line down to consumer products and pro products.

1827
01:39:19,860 --> 01:39:24,700
Now, our consumer customers usually buy consumer products, but they like some of the pro products, too.

1828
01:39:24,760 --> 01:39:30,060
Our education customers buy both, and our pro customers usually buy the pro products, but they like IMAX, too.

1829
01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:36,640
And by focusing on a very, very simple product line, we can put the A-team on everything,

1830
01:39:37,380 --> 01:39:39,880
and we can innovate a lot more, and we can innovate a lot more frequently.

1831
01:39:40,760 --> 01:39:47,840
And so the first thing we're going to do is we're going to announce a completely new family of desktop pro products.

1832
01:39:47,840 --> 01:39:51,600
Now, our current pro product is the Power Mac G3.

1833
01:39:52,240 --> 01:39:56,720
We announced it in November of 1997, 14 months ago.

1834
01:39:57,340 --> 01:39:59,680
15 million units worldwide.

1835
01:40:01,880 --> 01:40:07,680
I was guessing wrong. I way overblown that.

1836
01:40:07,900 --> 01:40:09,520
Way overblown that.

1837
01:40:09,900 --> 01:40:15,880
This product alone has been about 2% of the entire computer sales in this time period.

1838
01:40:16,980 --> 01:40:22,220
And that's generated over $3 billion of revenue for Apple in that time period.

1839
01:40:22,220 --> 01:40:24,220
It's an incredibly successful product.

1840
01:40:25,160 --> 01:40:29,780
And today, we're going to go to the next generation.

1841
01:40:29,860 --> 01:40:30,520
It's going to blow your mind.

1842
01:40:30,520 --> 01:40:31,240
So what is that?

1843
01:40:31,960 --> 01:40:37,800
We set out some goals for ourselves, four key goals for the next generation G3 product.

1844
01:40:38,060 --> 01:40:38,560
One.

1845
01:40:38,560 --> 01:40:38,900
One.

1846
01:40:38,900 --> 01:40:46,140
The first one, we want to make not only the most powerful Macintosh ever built, but the most powerful PC in the entire industry.

1847
01:40:46,140 --> 01:40:55,440
We want to give it the best graphics of the entire industry, and not just the 2D graphics that Apple's known for, but also 3D graphics.

1848
01:40:55,520 --> 01:41:00,760
We want to make it the most expandable Macintosh ever.

1849
01:41:00,760 --> 01:41:04,700
And, of course, we want the best design.

1850
01:41:06,000 --> 01:41:07,740
So, let's see what we did.

1851
01:41:08,900 --> 01:41:10,100
Take a look at our first goal.

1852
01:41:10,780 --> 01:41:11,480
Most powerful.

1853
01:41:12,140 --> 01:41:13,180
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

1854
01:41:15,240 --> 01:41:16,240
And...

1855
01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:16,240
And...

1856
01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:28,600
...to use the fastest Pro Compact money can buy.

1857
01:41:28,600 --> 01:41:28,980
Mm-hmm.

1858
01:41:28,980 --> 01:41:30,880
It's called the Desk Pro EN.

1859
01:41:31,360 --> 01:41:34,620
It's got a Pentium II running at 450 megahertz.

1860
01:41:34,620 --> 01:41:36,000
Lots of megahertz.

1861
01:41:36,720 --> 01:41:37,480
And it's got the...

1862
01:41:37,480 --> 01:41:39,980
Thank you very much, Mabadoc.

1863
01:41:39,980 --> 01:41:45,160
...just Intel architecture for memory and PCI you can get on a personal computer.

1864
01:41:45,160 --> 01:41:45,660
All right.

1865
01:41:45,660 --> 01:41:47,200
That sounds like a challenge.

1866
01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:47,720
And now...

1867
01:41:47,720 --> 01:41:49,840
We can get the right screens up there.

1868
01:41:53,840 --> 01:41:54,840
I get a cute...

1869
01:41:54,840 --> 01:41:55,840
I get a cute...

1870
01:41:55,840 --> 01:41:56,340
I...

1871
01:41:56,340 --> 01:41:57,340
Mwank.

1872
01:41:57,340 --> 01:41:57,840
Fine.

1873
01:41:59,840 --> 01:42:00,840
Okay, you ready to go again?

1874
01:42:00,840 --> 01:42:01,500
Not yet.

1875
01:42:01,500 --> 01:42:01,920
Not yet.

1876
01:42:01,920 --> 01:42:04,440
It takes me a little longer to revert.

1877
01:42:04,440 --> 01:42:05,440
Uh...

1878
01:42:05,440 --> 01:42:08,240
This is usually when I get coffee.

1879
01:42:09,520 --> 01:42:10,360
Pro camera.

1880
01:42:10,360 --> 01:42:11,360
Right?

1881
01:42:11,360 --> 01:42:14,400
This is what professionals use to get very high resolution imagery.

1882
01:42:14,400 --> 01:42:15,900
I think he, uh...

1883
01:42:15,900 --> 01:42:18,320
He upgraded the fucking wardrobe after this.

1884
01:42:18,320 --> 01:42:19,160
This, uh...

1885
01:42:19,160 --> 01:42:21,180
It's an interesting situation.

1886
01:42:22,020 --> 01:42:23,220
It's a collarless, is it?

1887
01:42:23,320 --> 01:42:25,740
Fucking Star Trek ensemble.

1888
01:42:26,960 --> 01:42:28,240
He's still packing the denim.

1889
01:42:29,220 --> 01:42:29,960
But he's, uh...

1890
01:42:29,960 --> 01:42:33,680
Going hard on the fucking top half there with the fucking...

1891
01:42:33,680 --> 01:42:34,400
It's like...

1892
01:42:35,320 --> 01:42:36,440
Kind of, uh...

1893
01:42:36,440 --> 01:42:37,400
Tuxedo colors...

1894
01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:39,140
With the denim.

1895
01:42:40,520 --> 01:42:41,820
It's a fucking heavy...

1896
01:42:41,820 --> 01:42:42,840
It's a heavy buzz.

1897
01:42:42,960 --> 01:42:43,300
Firework.

1898
01:42:43,400 --> 01:42:44,560
It's a heavy swag.

1899
01:42:44,560 --> 01:42:45,060
Firework.

1900
01:42:45,060 --> 01:42:45,920
Jack, right on the side.

1901
01:42:46,960 --> 01:42:47,560
Here's another one.

1902
01:42:47,560 --> 01:42:48,940
Canon's equivalent of that.

1903
01:42:49,240 --> 01:42:50,080
Firewire jack.

1904
01:42:50,320 --> 01:42:51,060
Right on the side.

1905
01:42:51,820 --> 01:42:52,820
Right on the side.

1906
01:42:52,820 --> 01:42:53,620
Here's a box that...

1907
01:42:56,120 --> 01:42:56,820
On, uh...

1908
01:42:56,820 --> 01:42:57,420
Pro camera.

1909
01:42:58,280 --> 01:42:58,480
Right?

1910
01:42:58,600 --> 01:43:01,080
This is what professionals use to get very high resolution imagery.

1911
01:43:01,460 --> 01:43:02,200
Firewire jack.

1912
01:43:02,280 --> 01:43:02,960
Right on the side.

1913
01:43:04,000 --> 01:43:04,580
Here's another one.

1914
01:43:04,920 --> 01:43:05,960
Canon's equivalent of that.

1915
01:43:06,300 --> 01:43:07,120
Firewire jack.

1916
01:43:07,360 --> 01:43:08,080
Right on the side.

1917
01:43:09,680 --> 01:43:10,960
Right on the side.

1918
01:43:11,740 --> 01:43:12,700
Here's a box that...

1919
01:43:12,700 --> 01:43:14,680
That Sony makes and sells for $300.

1920
01:43:15,760 --> 01:43:16,560
Firewire in.

1921
01:43:17,280 --> 01:43:17,920
Analog.

1922
01:43:18,580 --> 01:43:19,660
Audio and video.

1923
01:43:19,660 --> 01:43:20,420
In and out.

1924
01:43:20,940 --> 01:43:22,720
So if you want analog video in and out.

1925
01:43:23,280 --> 01:43:25,240
Buy one of these and hook it right up to Firewire.

1926
01:43:25,700 --> 01:43:26,640
Works perfectly.

1927
01:43:27,480 --> 01:43:28,800
Now let me show you some video.

1928
01:43:29,460 --> 01:43:30,700
I've got a camera right here.

1929
01:43:31,380 --> 01:43:33,460
And I've got two G3 computers up there.

1930
01:43:33,960 --> 01:43:35,660
And I've got a Firewire cable right here.

1931
01:43:36,900 --> 01:43:37,640
And, uh...

1932
01:43:37,640 --> 01:43:38,220
And...

1933
01:43:38,220 --> 01:43:40,380
My Firewire cable's very simple.

1934
01:43:40,480 --> 01:43:41,960
I can just plug these two things together.

1935
01:43:42,500 --> 01:43:44,120
And it'll hook that camera into that G3.

1936
01:43:44,340 --> 01:43:47,980
Takes about three seconds for the network to reconfigure itself.

1937
01:43:48,120 --> 01:43:49,140
Load all the drivers and everything.

1938
01:43:49,680 --> 01:43:50,160
And, uh...

1939
01:43:50,160 --> 01:43:52,060
So let me go ahead and just plug this in right now.

1940
01:43:52,360 --> 01:43:52,540
Boom.

1941
01:43:53,460 --> 01:43:55,360
And in a few seconds I should see video up there.

1942
01:43:55,500 --> 01:43:55,980
There I am.

1943
01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:57,080
Hello, Mom.

1944
01:43:57,700 --> 01:43:58,100
Okay.

1945
01:43:58,420 --> 01:43:59,480
And I can unplug it.

1946
01:43:59,640 --> 01:44:00,340
And it'll stop.

1947
01:44:00,880 --> 01:44:02,340
And I can plug it back in.

1948
01:44:02,780 --> 01:44:04,260
And in a few seconds it should start again.

1949
01:44:05,740 --> 01:44:06,420
Well, it should.

1950
01:44:06,500 --> 01:44:06,960
There we go.

1951
01:44:07,340 --> 01:44:07,580
Good.

1952
01:44:07,580 --> 01:44:12,520
Now, Firewire is not just a point-to-point connection.

1953
01:44:13,140 --> 01:44:14,000
It's a bus.

1954
01:44:14,320 --> 01:44:15,900
And it's a really intelligent bus.

1955
01:44:16,200 --> 01:44:18,000
So, I've got another cable here.

1956
01:44:18,060 --> 01:44:21,820
See, there's two Firewire jacks on the back of every Power Mac G3.

1957
01:44:22,460 --> 01:44:25,800
So one of them for this G3 is going to the camera right now.

1958
01:44:26,700 --> 01:44:29,260
The other one I connected to another cable.

1959
01:44:29,760 --> 01:44:32,860
Which is connected to the Firewire port of a second G3.

1960
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:37,220
Because unlike SCSI, you can have any number of computers on your Firewire bus.

1961
01:44:37,220 --> 01:44:39,940
First, the Rage 120.

1962
01:44:40,040 --> 01:44:41,160
Oh, hold on.

1963
01:44:41,700 --> 01:44:42,620
This looks good.

1964
01:44:42,740 --> 01:44:43,660
This looks very good.

1965
01:44:45,560 --> 01:44:47,820
Here we go.

1966
01:44:50,780 --> 01:44:51,720
Thank you very much.

1967
01:44:51,720 --> 01:44:54,520
There's a quote by Henry Kissinger coming in here.

1968
01:44:54,620 --> 01:44:58,040
The big reveal of the Power Mac is here.

1969
01:44:58,920 --> 01:45:00,180
Fucking three grand luck.

1970
01:45:00,540 --> 01:45:02,140
Starting at $1,600.

1971
01:45:02,140 --> 01:45:04,140
Now, is...

1972
01:45:05,100 --> 01:45:06,140
I have a little...

1973
01:45:06,780 --> 01:45:07,340
Yeah.

1974
01:45:07,480 --> 01:45:08,300
Oh, they're going to rotate.

1975
01:45:09,260 --> 01:45:09,700
Slots.

1976
01:45:09,840 --> 01:45:10,940
All the removable drives.

1977
01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:13,280
This thing even runs with the door open.

1978
01:45:13,640 --> 01:45:15,160
It's totally accessible.

1979
01:45:16,300 --> 01:45:19,760
And when you want to close it, just button it up.

1980
01:45:20,320 --> 01:45:20,680
Lovely.

1981
01:45:20,780 --> 01:45:20,920
Okay.

1982
01:45:20,920 --> 01:45:21,600
Let's roll the video.

1983
01:45:22,240 --> 01:45:22,880
We've got a video.

1984
01:45:23,340 --> 01:45:24,080
We've got a video.

1985
01:45:24,380 --> 01:45:25,200
We've got a production.

1986
01:45:25,580 --> 01:45:31,000
Money and time and a production unit were tasked with making a video that was going to be shown at the keynote.

1987
01:45:31,300 --> 01:45:33,140
Probably even on television.

1988
01:45:33,340 --> 01:45:34,420
Probably network television.

1989
01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:37,620
It'll be good.

1990
01:45:38,140 --> 01:45:38,780
It should be good.

1991
01:45:38,820 --> 01:45:39,320
It'd look good.

1992
01:45:39,880 --> 01:45:40,300
Henry...

1993
01:45:40,300 --> 01:45:47,580
When you've got Henry Kissinger dropping the quotes on your fucking machine, isn't he the architect of much death and destruction?

1994
01:45:48,560 --> 01:45:52,780
Why are they using his quotes on stuff like the... to sell the products?

1995
01:45:53,220 --> 01:45:55,580
We've got some hot new Apple products.

1996
01:46:05,580 --> 01:46:07,180
Of love.

1997
01:46:08,540 --> 01:46:09,600
Past lots.

1998
01:46:09,600 --> 01:46:12,060
Of dollars.

1999
01:46:12,060 --> 01:46:12,380
Of dollars.

2000
01:46:12,380 --> 01:46:14,160
Oh, look.

2001
01:46:15,840 --> 01:46:19,340
Your smile can't disguise.

2002
01:46:21,420 --> 01:46:24,660
We set out to make a computer just for our pro customers.

2003
01:46:25,160 --> 01:46:28,580
From the ground up, we asked ourselves, what do they want?

2004
01:46:28,840 --> 01:46:29,460
What do they want?

2005
01:46:29,460 --> 01:46:29,680
And...

2006
01:46:29,680 --> 01:46:31,580
What do they want for expansion?

2007
01:46:31,920 --> 01:46:35,040
What do they want for features and industrial design?

2008
01:46:35,260 --> 01:46:36,600
What do they want for the whole system?

2009
01:46:36,600 --> 01:46:44,200
To try and design an object that elicits the reaction of, I really want that.

2010
01:46:45,060 --> 01:46:48,680
To try and elicit the reaction of, I really want that.

2011
01:46:48,680 --> 01:46:57,320
is enormously fun these guys are really getting us revved up they really went hard on the rev men

2012
01:46:58,600 --> 01:47:04,840
these guys are really fucking setting the vibe strong for what's what do they want for features

2013
01:47:04,840 --> 01:47:16,680
and deusual design these machines are beautiful but they kick ass these machines are beautiful

2014
01:47:16,680 --> 01:47:25,720
but they kick ass fucking gold blummonomics we're building the fastest machine we got john rubinstein

2015
01:47:25,720 --> 01:47:34,120
and really really set the fire into this in the pc industry so we start with a 400 megahertz processor

2016
01:47:34,120 --> 01:47:40,120
with a one meg backside cache up to a gigabyte of high performance memory it supports the technologies

2017
01:47:40,120 --> 01:47:46,360
that we've been trying to use now

2018
01:47:47,000 --> 01:47:52,520
look go go go go look is up your ass

2019
01:47:52,520 --> 01:48:10,680
pure fucking sensual hard rock the transition from the smooth lounge lizard jazz into the hard rock the

2020
01:48:10,680 --> 01:48:17,080
look of love they had fucking rubinstein in there laying down the foundations with some sensual

2021
01:48:17,080 --> 01:48:23,960
sweet sweet home alabama chat and then you've got fucking kevin heckman the heckmeister flipping heck

2022
01:48:24,840 --> 01:48:32,360
it's fucking kevin and he rocks he rocks solid with rr donnelly and son's company he's a real

2023
01:48:32,360 --> 01:48:38,120
fucking crew harvester and a sweet sweet jessup he knows what he's doing he does what he knows

2024
01:48:38,120 --> 01:48:41,580
Fiber channel, 64-bit PCI bus.

2025
01:48:42,180 --> 01:48:45,060
Fiber channel, 64-bit PCI bus.

2026
01:48:45,080 --> 01:48:46,540
66 megahertz PCI bus.

2027
01:48:46,720 --> 01:48:50,160
I have not seen any other machine, any other platform.

2028
01:48:50,480 --> 01:48:52,380
Yo, give it up for Bruce Chisholm.

2029
01:48:52,640 --> 01:48:54,340
Thank you very much, Schlugter Claus.

2030
01:48:54,540 --> 01:48:55,340
Beautiful stuff.

2031
01:48:55,400 --> 01:48:58,460
Give it up for fucking Schlug Chisholm here, everybody.

2032
01:49:00,940 --> 01:49:05,960
We got fucking executive vice, vice president of Adobe.

2033
01:49:05,960 --> 01:49:09,500
These guys are the fucking industry stalwarts.

2034
01:49:09,620 --> 01:49:15,080
These are fucking flagship industry leaders from an array of different companies.

2035
01:49:15,300 --> 01:49:16,260
You're talking Adobe.

2036
01:49:17,380 --> 01:49:19,100
Have that kind of performance.

2037
01:49:19,460 --> 01:49:24,040
If sex is power and the computer gives you power, there's lots of sex in these machines.

2038
01:49:27,040 --> 01:49:27,960
Let's hear it.

2039
01:49:27,980 --> 01:49:30,160
Let's hear it for the sex machine himself.

2040
01:49:30,160 --> 01:49:34,940
And if any man knows about sex, it's fucking Ramirez.

2041
01:49:34,940 --> 01:49:42,240
Ramirez, VP, vice penetration of marketing at Computerware.

2042
01:49:42,480 --> 01:49:46,520
He knows what he's talking about when it comes to this side of chat.

2043
01:49:46,900 --> 01:49:48,140
Have that kind of performance.

2044
01:49:48,500 --> 01:49:49,660
If sex is power...

2045
01:49:49,660 --> 01:49:51,440
There's something about Ramirez that you want to know.

2046
01:49:52,140 --> 01:49:54,920
All he does is blast day and night.

2047
01:49:55,180 --> 01:50:00,640
He has a sound blaster card installed in his fucking house alarm.

2048
01:50:00,640 --> 01:50:05,700
If sex is power and the computer gives you power, there's lots of sex in these machines.

2049
01:50:07,460 --> 01:50:11,760
Check that out, fucking suggestive Keith.

2050
01:50:12,540 --> 01:50:14,780
Suggestive Keith Boski at Eidos.

2051
01:50:15,400 --> 01:50:23,320
After Ramirez's sex bomb gets dropped, they decide, yeah, we'll put in the fucking Tomb Raider 2 bit with Lara.

2052
01:50:23,480 --> 01:50:30,260
And can you just keep making her fucking step backwards so it looks like she's in some way having some kind of sexual seizure, please?

2053
01:50:30,260 --> 01:50:39,460
That would tally really well with what we're trying to do in this because we do want to make the game with the computer look as sexy as fuck.

2054
01:50:39,840 --> 01:50:47,320
So it's great to get a polygonal rendered woman who looks not like a woman gyrating like that.

2055
01:50:48,320 --> 01:50:49,460
That's fucking great, man.

2056
01:50:49,520 --> 01:50:50,280
The graphics pass.

2057
01:50:50,740 --> 01:50:52,580
Games today have realistic environments.

2058
01:51:01,600 --> 01:51:04,180
We need the most advanced machines out there.

2059
01:51:04,240 --> 01:51:06,840
Yeah, Tomb Raider 2 is opening level, man.

2060
01:51:07,120 --> 01:51:09,060
The brand new ATI Rage 128.

2061
01:51:09,180 --> 01:51:11,780
Get the key, swim under there and get the fucking key, man.

2062
01:51:11,780 --> 01:51:14,500
This is the fastest graphic accelerator available.

2063
01:51:14,900 --> 01:51:16,420
And it's in the Macintosh first.

2064
01:51:16,720 --> 01:51:24,020
The Rage 128 hardware is among the best available anywhere and delivers very good performance in extremely good quality.

2065
01:51:24,440 --> 01:51:24,940
On this platform.

2066
01:51:24,940 --> 01:51:27,180
Wee-meow, wee-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow.

2067
01:51:27,260 --> 01:51:31,620
And will deliver several times better performance than anything that's been available on the Mac before.

2068
01:51:33,500 --> 01:51:35,840
With the new G3, we broke the laws of physics.

2069
01:51:35,840 --> 01:51:40,660
We actually put more features, more expandability into a smaller box.

2070
01:51:40,800 --> 01:51:46,320
So we designed it so one flip of a lever and the whole door opens, you have full accessibility into the enclosure.

2071
01:51:46,660 --> 01:51:48,240
To make it really easy to add memory.

2072
01:51:48,400 --> 01:51:50,420
To make it really easy to add I.O. cards.

2073
01:51:50,840 --> 01:51:51,940
No special tools.

2074
01:51:52,200 --> 01:51:53,020
It's all right there.

2075
01:51:54,260 --> 01:51:55,380
Handles to pick it up.

2076
01:51:55,500 --> 01:51:56,800
A door to get inside.

2077
01:51:57,060 --> 01:51:57,960
What a great thought.

2078
01:51:58,060 --> 01:51:59,180
And it took Apple to do it.

2079
01:52:00,100 --> 01:52:01,340
Handles to pick it up.

2080
01:52:01,700 --> 01:52:02,800
Handles to pick it up.

2081
01:52:02,940 --> 01:52:04,180
This was the sex machine.

2082
01:52:04,460 --> 01:52:04,820
Ramirez.

2083
01:52:06,000 --> 01:52:07,500
It kind of sounds like a...

2084
01:52:08,880 --> 01:52:10,200
I don't know, like a kind of...

2085
01:52:10,200 --> 01:52:13,680
I thought it was going to be like an old lady that was talking here.

2086
01:52:13,840 --> 01:52:14,900
A door to get inside.

2087
01:52:15,180 --> 01:52:15,400
What...

2088
01:52:15,400 --> 01:52:16,220
It's all right there.

2089
01:52:17,440 --> 01:52:18,560
Handles to pick it up.

2090
01:52:18,680 --> 01:52:19,960
A door to get inside.

2091
01:52:20,160 --> 01:52:21,120
What a great thought.

2092
01:52:21,200 --> 01:52:22,320
And it took Apple to do it.

2093
01:52:22,680 --> 01:52:25,160
The professional is going to lust after the I.O. capacity.

2094
01:52:25,560 --> 01:52:26,880
The thing has got every...

2095
01:52:26,880 --> 01:52:28,900
Going to lust after it, is it?

2096
01:52:29,620 --> 01:52:37,760
They were briefed on this anyway to inject all their diatribes with some kind of sexual innuendos and sexual language.

2097
01:52:38,580 --> 01:52:40,940
The professional is going to lust after the I.O. capacity.

2098
01:52:41,560 --> 01:52:42,660
The thing has got every...

2099
01:52:42,660 --> 01:52:45,720
Just guys that want to have sex with the computers.

2100
01:52:45,880 --> 01:52:46,220
That's it.

2101
01:52:46,420 --> 01:52:47,820
Ultra ATA 33.

2102
01:52:48,280 --> 01:52:50,740
Oh, I thought about the opening of the door.

2103
01:52:51,560 --> 01:52:52,040
USB.

2104
01:52:53,000 --> 01:52:53,960
What's inside?

2105
01:52:54,300 --> 01:52:55,260
Seeing inside it.

2106
01:52:55,320 --> 01:52:56,220
Getting inside it.

2107
01:52:56,220 --> 01:52:58,420
And really fucking changing things up.

2108
01:52:58,700 --> 01:53:00,540
Fucking rolling the RAM into it.

2109
01:53:00,620 --> 01:53:02,420
Throwing a few fucking RAM sticks into there.

2110
01:53:02,840 --> 01:53:04,040
You better believe that shit.

2111
01:53:04,120 --> 01:53:04,920
Make it with Ethernet.

2112
01:53:05,140 --> 01:53:06,320
All on the motherboard now.

2113
01:53:06,500 --> 01:53:09,980
If you want the future of I.O., it's USB and Firewire.

2114
01:53:10,180 --> 01:53:11,800
You don't have to worry about cable links.

2115
01:53:11,900 --> 01:53:12,660
You don't have to worry...

2116
01:53:12,660 --> 01:53:13,920
Got the Crane Meister.

2117
01:53:14,060 --> 01:53:14,920
...terminations.

2118
01:53:15,380 --> 01:53:17,440
You don't have to worry about device select addresses.

2119
01:53:17,880 --> 01:53:19,280
You just plug it in and it works.

2120
01:53:19,600 --> 01:53:21,580
I mean, 127 devices on USB.

2121
01:53:22,200 --> 01:53:24,420
63 devices on Firewire.

2122
01:53:24,700 --> 01:53:25,940
And it's the easiest thing in the world.

2123
01:53:25,940 --> 01:53:28,660
I just take this camera with a simple Firewire cable.

2124
01:53:28,820 --> 01:53:30,540
I plug it into my Power Mac G3.

2125
01:53:31,060 --> 01:53:33,240
And digitally take that video onto my computer.

2126
01:53:33,660 --> 01:53:34,100
And bam.

2127
01:53:34,580 --> 01:53:35,660
I'm editing video and I'm...

2128
01:53:35,660 --> 01:53:37,280
Final Cut Pro PD150.

2129
01:53:37,500 --> 01:53:37,920
...on my way.

2130
01:53:38,860 --> 01:53:43,720
It's got to be utterly compelling performance in terms of raw speed and power.

2131
01:53:44,080 --> 01:53:47,080
But also these have to be objects that are totally seductive.

2132
01:53:47,740 --> 01:53:52,260
We designed a new family of Apple Studio displays to go along with the new G3.

2133
01:53:52,820 --> 01:53:55,940
There's a 21-inch monitor that's the dream publisher's monitor.

2134
01:53:56,320 --> 01:54:00,980
Trinitron, color management, digital color calibration, USB hub for peripherals.

2135
01:54:01,440 --> 01:54:04,100
A 17-inch monitor that's the best quality in the business.

2136
01:54:04,340 --> 01:54:05,820
And still very affordable.

2137
01:54:06,520 --> 01:54:08,880
And the award-winning 15-inch Apple Studio display.

2138
01:54:09,600 --> 01:54:11,840
The stands float the displays.

2139
01:54:12,120 --> 01:54:13,100
They put air underneath.

2140
01:54:13,300 --> 01:54:14,900
They make them appear lighter.

2141
01:54:15,380 --> 01:54:17,440
Rock solid and crisp and sharp.

2142
01:54:17,660 --> 01:54:18,600
And you're just in love.

2143
01:54:20,180 --> 01:54:21,820
We had to make a powerful machine.

2144
01:54:21,960 --> 01:54:23,900
We had to give customers tremendous features.

2145
01:54:24,100 --> 01:54:25,020
We had to make it gorgeous.

2146
01:54:25,660 --> 01:54:27,340
We also had to make it really affordable.

2147
01:54:27,600 --> 01:54:32,420
When customers see the new technology and they see the new design, they're going to be all over these machines.

2148
01:54:32,600 --> 01:54:33,180
You're going to see this thing.

2149
01:54:33,220 --> 01:54:33,780
They're going to go nuts.

2150
01:54:34,200 --> 01:54:35,000
They're going to want it.

2151
01:54:35,180 --> 01:54:37,420
Building the fastest machines in the industry is great.

2152
01:54:37,960 --> 01:54:38,380
So it's what...

2153
01:54:38,380 --> 01:54:38,880
They're going to go nuts.

2154
01:54:39,520 --> 01:54:39,960
They're going to want...

2155
01:54:39,960 --> 01:54:42,340
They see the new design.

2156
01:54:42,680 --> 01:54:44,060
They're going to be all over these machines.

2157
01:54:44,260 --> 01:54:44,840
You're going to see this thing.

2158
01:54:44,880 --> 01:54:45,440
They're going to go nuts.

2159
01:54:45,860 --> 01:54:46,660
They're going to want it.

2160
01:54:46,860 --> 01:54:49,080
Building the fastest machines in the industry is great.

2161
01:54:49,600 --> 01:54:50,620
It's what drives us.

2162
01:54:50,760 --> 01:54:51,860
We're putting them right into production.

2163
01:54:52,140 --> 01:54:52,860
It is gorgeous.

2164
01:54:53,120 --> 01:54:53,620
That's right.

2165
01:54:53,700 --> 01:54:55,560
Now we don't have to hide the computer anymore.

2166
01:54:55,940 --> 01:54:57,820
A computer absolutely can be sexy.

2167
01:54:58,440 --> 01:54:59,320
It's...

2168
01:54:59,320 --> 01:55:00,420
Fucking hell.

2169
01:55:01,920 --> 01:55:02,840
Yeah, it can.

2170
01:55:03,840 --> 01:55:06,400
Just fucked that one up and they left it in the edit.

2171
01:55:08,260 --> 01:55:09,020
It's...

2172
01:55:09,020 --> 01:55:12,560
Computer absolutely can be sexy.

2173
01:55:12,560 --> 01:55:13,560
It's...

2174
01:55:13,560 --> 01:55:17,600
Yeah, it can.

2175
01:55:18,560 --> 01:55:20,100
They used the duff take.

2176
01:55:21,740 --> 01:55:24,360
They probably thought, oh yeah, there's some nice emotion in that.

2177
01:55:24,480 --> 01:55:25,220
Actually, leave that in.

2178
01:55:25,260 --> 01:55:25,700
Yeah, it's nice.

2179
01:55:25,780 --> 01:55:26,580
I like the way he does it.

2180
01:55:26,580 --> 01:55:27,360
He laughs like that.

2181
01:55:27,420 --> 01:55:28,580
I think that's, yeah, leave that in.

2182
01:55:28,660 --> 01:55:29,280
That works.

2183
01:55:29,360 --> 01:55:29,700
It works.

2184
01:55:29,780 --> 01:55:30,080
It works.

2185
01:55:30,160 --> 01:55:30,460
It works.

2186
01:55:38,400 --> 01:55:38,720
Twisted.

2187
01:55:38,720 --> 01:55:55,560
Twisted.

2188
01:55:55,560 --> 01:56:00,500
Don't ever go.

2189
01:56:00,640 --> 01:56:02,740
Don't ever go.

2190
01:56:03,340 --> 01:56:05,080
Don't ever go.

2191
01:56:05,680 --> 01:56:07,820
Don't ever go.

2192
01:56:10,320 --> 01:56:10,840
What?

2193
01:56:11,560 --> 01:56:12,820
Did you hear it in the audience then?

2194
01:56:12,900 --> 01:56:15,060
Someone fucking lost the run of themselves.

2195
01:56:16,060 --> 01:56:16,240
No.

2196
01:56:16,240 --> 01:56:17,240
Oh.

2197
01:56:22,920 --> 01:56:23,940
I hear it.

2198
01:56:24,080 --> 01:56:25,420
It was faint.

2199
01:56:25,420 --> 01:56:28,920
Thank you very much, Nabi Gobbler.

2200
01:56:33,100 --> 01:56:37,720
If you're interested, I brought along, there's two television commercials we're going to run.

2201
01:56:38,020 --> 01:56:38,400
Oh, yeah.

2202
01:56:38,400 --> 01:56:39,460
On the Power Mac G3.

2203
01:56:40,040 --> 01:56:41,220
And I'll show them to you if you'd like.

2204
01:56:42,060 --> 01:56:44,320
Fucking hit us with that shit, Stevie boy.

2205
01:56:44,560 --> 01:56:45,180
Stevie Wonder.

2206
01:56:46,060 --> 01:56:46,280
Okay.

2207
01:56:46,720 --> 01:56:51,240
Now, they both got the same video, but there's just different messages in each one.

2208
01:56:51,480 --> 01:56:52,700
So let me roll them both for you.

2209
01:56:52,700 --> 01:56:54,060
I'd like to see which one you like better.

2210
01:56:54,580 --> 01:56:57,000
Go ahead and run Secret Door and Open Minded.

2211
01:56:57,360 --> 01:56:57,820
Wow.

2212
01:56:58,040 --> 01:56:58,880
Secret Door.

2213
01:57:03,580 --> 01:57:05,440
They fucked that up at the beginning of the day.

2214
01:57:12,380 --> 01:57:16,740
You can wait until year's end to cross the bridge to the 21st century.

2215
01:57:17,560 --> 01:57:21,260
Or you can cross over now through a secret side door.

2216
01:57:22,060 --> 01:57:24,940
Presenting the all-new Power Macintosh G3.

2217
01:57:24,940 --> 01:57:42,400
It's not only the world's most powerful personal computer.

2218
01:57:42,400 --> 01:57:52,720
It's also the most open-minded.

2219
01:57:52,720 --> 01:57:59,840
Presenting the all-new Power Macintosh G3.

2220
01:58:07,840 --> 01:58:09,680
What's that music called again?

2221
01:58:09,780 --> 01:58:10,720
Is it fucking...

2222
01:58:11,500 --> 01:58:15,480
Zara Thruster, is it?

2223
01:58:15,480 --> 01:58:18,040
Yeah.

2224
01:58:18,040 --> 01:58:18,040
Yeah.

2225
01:58:18,040 --> 01:58:48,020
Thank you.

2226
01:58:48,020 --> 01:59:14,840
You've waited all your life to finally have sex with your computer. And now you can. The iMac Power Mac G3 with the functional opening door sight lets you go right in and have full sex. Macintosh, fuck different.

2227
01:59:14,840 --> 01:59:32,220
You've waited 125 years to fuck your technology. Do you want to wait any longer? Or do you want to fuck right in now?

2228
01:59:36,220 --> 01:59:47,100
Buy a Mac G3 slide door sight hatch fuck technology. Bellows you to slide right in. Starting with $1,500.

2229
02:00:00,220 --> 02:00:03,400
Clapathon, clapathon. First one clap please.

2230
02:00:06,400 --> 02:00:06,960
Okay.

2231
02:00:08,860 --> 02:00:09,960
Second one clap.

2232
02:00:10,400 --> 02:00:12,720
He's getting them to judge each one by clapping.

2233
02:00:15,820 --> 02:00:16,960
Okay, thank you.

2234
02:00:17,760 --> 02:00:20,960
They chose, they chose the second one. The dirty bastards.

2235
02:00:21,420 --> 02:00:25,540
We've been laboring on this for a long time and we are so happy with how it came out.

2236
02:00:25,800 --> 02:00:28,560
We've got a bunch of them in the booth and please go check them out.

2237
02:00:28,800 --> 02:00:30,900
And that was the first surprise for today.

2238
02:00:33,000 --> 02:00:33,500
Okay.

2239
02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:33,500
Okay.

2240
02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:33,500
So...

2241
02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:34,000
Ugh.

2242
02:00:34,000 --> 02:00:45,880
I think it's Computer Chronicles or bust and as an X-mas buyer's guy from 1990, I'm a little bit, uh...

2243
02:00:45,880 --> 02:00:51,480
Not sure whether or not this is gonna have the pace that will sustain us through half an hour.

2244
02:00:52,020 --> 02:00:54,680
With it being 1990. But it does have Paul Schindler.

2245
02:00:55,480 --> 02:00:57,220
And he is wearing a Santa's hat.

2246
02:00:57,820 --> 02:01:05,880
We might have to fucking ditch this one if it gets a little bit shit and, uh, just get out of there nice and quick in this Hugh Chafe way.

2247
02:01:16,140 --> 02:01:16,660
There you go.

2248
02:01:16,860 --> 02:01:17,740
Thank you. Use yourself.

2249
02:01:17,860 --> 02:01:18,340
Thanks a lot.

2250
02:01:19,000 --> 02:01:22,720
Have we seen this one or did I cheat on you with it again?

2251
02:01:23,160 --> 02:01:24,880
Because I think I've seen the beginning of this.

2252
02:01:24,880 --> 02:01:27,280
I think I've seen this.

2253
02:01:27,500 --> 02:01:29,240
First thing you do is buy the Christmas tree.

2254
02:01:29,920 --> 02:01:33,040
The first thing you do is buy the Christmas tree.

2255
02:01:33,700 --> 02:01:35,020
Thank you very much, Potty Bob.

2256
02:01:35,900 --> 02:01:37,040
And there's a saw here.

2257
02:01:37,120 --> 02:01:38,140
That's the easy part.

2258
02:01:38,240 --> 02:01:43,080
Even at a place like this where you have to saw it down yourself, the next step is buying the Christmas presents.

2259
02:01:43,200 --> 02:01:47,640
And sometimes that's not so easy, especially if you're trying to find a gift for a computer nut.

2260
02:01:47,800 --> 02:01:53,200
Well, today we'll take a look at some great Christmas gift ideas for the computer user on your shopping list.

2261
02:01:54,120 --> 02:01:54,820
Computer nut.

2262
02:01:54,820 --> 02:01:59,500
Today we'll take not so easy, especially if you're trying to find a gift for a computer nut.

2263
02:02:00,140 --> 02:02:01,200
What's going on back here?

2264
02:02:01,540 --> 02:02:02,360
Or they're getting trees.

2265
02:02:02,680 --> 02:02:11,160
Well, today we'll take a look at some great Christmas gift ideas for the computer user on your shopping list on this special holiday edition of the Computer Chronicles.

2266
02:02:11,160 --> 02:02:29,280
The Computer Chronicles has made possible in the PC.

2267
02:02:29,480 --> 02:02:30,480
I'm Stuart Schiffen.

2268
02:02:30,560 --> 02:02:32,100
With me this week is Paul Schindler.

2269
02:02:32,560 --> 02:02:33,800
Ah, beautiful stuff.

2270
02:02:34,240 --> 02:02:34,780
Paul Meshkel.

2271
02:02:34,860 --> 02:02:35,440
Thank you very much.

2272
02:02:35,500 --> 02:02:36,100
Paul Meshkel.

2273
02:02:36,200 --> 02:02:36,580
That's it.

2274
02:02:36,620 --> 02:02:37,880
There was the Tommy Schlug special.

2275
02:02:38,000 --> 02:02:39,120
Tom, are you there, Tom?

2276
02:02:40,580 --> 02:02:40,980
Hello.

2277
02:02:41,280 --> 02:02:42,020
What's the shorty?

2278
02:02:42,140 --> 02:02:42,520
How are you?

2279
02:02:43,700 --> 02:02:44,820
Not too bad, Tom.

2280
02:02:44,900 --> 02:02:47,460
Look, we were actually wanting to get you on the line here.

2281
02:02:47,560 --> 02:02:48,560
See what you think about this.

2282
02:02:48,640 --> 02:02:50,580
Someone has been jacking your swag.

2283
02:02:51,420 --> 02:02:51,660
Eh?

2284
02:02:53,260 --> 02:03:00,620
Your swag, your look, your style, it's been fucking replicated in mainstream media circles.

2285
02:03:01,940 --> 02:03:02,740
What's going on?

2286
02:03:03,960 --> 02:03:04,920
Paul Meshkel.

2287
02:03:05,480 --> 02:03:09,920
He's rocking the fucking Tommy Schlug style big time and it's gone Gucci.

2288
02:03:10,160 --> 02:03:12,740
It's gone fucking legit fashionista.

2289
02:03:12,900 --> 02:03:14,680
This is big time Schlug.

2290
02:03:14,820 --> 02:03:19,460
They've taken what you've made and done and they've gone to town.

2291
02:03:19,660 --> 02:03:20,700
They've gone to space with it.

2292
02:03:22,720 --> 02:03:23,460
What do you mean?

2293
02:03:24,860 --> 02:03:26,040
Peanuts and crisps, is it?

2294
02:03:28,300 --> 02:03:29,480
We've got to check this out.

2295
02:03:29,560 --> 02:03:29,920
I see it.

2296
02:03:29,940 --> 02:03:31,580
I hope I can find the fucking thing.

2297
02:03:32,480 --> 02:03:35,060
Paul Meshkel jeans.

2298
02:03:36,280 --> 02:03:36,720
Jeans.

2299
02:03:41,260 --> 02:03:41,700
Fuck.

2300
02:03:47,100 --> 02:03:49,100
Unless it was a Photoshop I seen.

2301
02:03:49,100 --> 02:03:56,180
You're going to have to bear with us there, Tom.

2302
02:03:56,220 --> 02:03:56,800
I'll find it.

2303
02:03:56,860 --> 02:03:59,080
We'll just run the computer crans for a moment.

2304
02:04:00,080 --> 02:04:00,400
Okay.

2305
02:04:00,980 --> 02:04:02,000
I'm sure here anyway.

2306
02:04:02,800 --> 02:04:04,200
Looking forward to seeing what you've got.

2307
02:04:04,300 --> 02:04:06,560
Paul it's Christmas time as I can see by your outfit.

2308
02:04:06,880 --> 02:04:09,200
Christmas time parents think about what to get for the children of course.

2309
02:04:09,300 --> 02:04:11,240
And one thing you might think about is an encyclopedia.

2310
02:04:11,360 --> 02:04:15,820
The old fashioned version 26 volumes that take up a whole bookcase isn't the way you do it in the computer era.

2311
02:04:15,900 --> 02:04:19,980
What I have up here is the new Compton's electronic encyclopedia on CD-ROM.

2312
02:04:20,320 --> 02:04:24,140
What's great about it is not only in a CD-ROM, but it's meant for a seven-year-old child.

2313
02:04:24,540 --> 02:04:27,720
So even if you don't know how to use the encyclopedia, just ask it a question.

2314
02:04:27,980 --> 02:04:30,760
For instance, I put on a question, is St. Nicholas the same as Santa Claus?

2315
02:04:30,920 --> 02:04:32,720
Because I couldn't find St. Nick in the encyclopedia.

2316
02:04:32,920 --> 02:04:34,540
Thank you very much, Gav, for that.

2317
02:04:34,680 --> 02:04:35,680
And Paul Meshkel and Paul Meshkel.

2318
02:04:35,680 --> 02:04:37,120
Thank you very much.

2319
02:04:37,320 --> 02:04:40,580
I simply click on it, and lo and behold, there is the article on Santa Claus.

2320
02:04:40,660 --> 02:04:42,360
It says, of course, it's the same thing as St. Nicholas.

2321
02:04:42,360 --> 02:04:42,920
Santa Claus.

2322
02:04:42,920 --> 02:04:45,680
I can click through the three pages of this particular article.

2323
02:04:45,820 --> 02:04:49,780
When I get to the end, it says, by the way, there's a cross-reference article over here called Christmas.

2324
02:04:49,940 --> 02:04:53,780
And I can just click on that cross-reference icon, and boom, there's the other article.

2325
02:04:54,120 --> 02:04:59,960
And if I just page through one or two pages of this article, I can see there's actually a photo.

2326
02:05:00,100 --> 02:05:00,860
It shows me an icon.

2327
02:05:01,000 --> 02:05:02,380
There's a photo that goes with the article.

2328
02:05:02,500 --> 02:05:06,600
I click on the icon, and it pulls up a color photo that comes with that story.

2329
02:05:06,600 --> 02:05:09,320
It's a really neat way for a kid to get to learn and play with the encyclopedia.

2330
02:05:09,960 --> 02:05:14,360
I want to ask you, is a seven-year-old child too young to buy a computer for at Christmas time?

2331
02:05:14,760 --> 02:05:15,540
Absolutely not.

2332
02:05:15,740 --> 02:05:21,920
As a matter of fact, I have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old, and they both started using computers when they were five.

2333
02:05:22,200 --> 02:05:23,320
The key is not the hard...

2334
02:05:23,320 --> 02:05:24,320
Yeah, sorry, Tom.

2335
02:05:24,740 --> 02:05:26,340
I've actually got the photo here.

2336
02:05:26,420 --> 02:05:26,920
I can't...

2337
02:05:26,920 --> 02:05:28,100
I don't know where it's come from.

2338
02:05:28,200 --> 02:05:31,600
I've just seen it pop up there in a kind of a Tommy Schlug alert.

2339
02:05:32,440 --> 02:05:33,180
We've got it here.

2340
02:05:33,220 --> 02:05:34,320
I'm not sure if you're there, are you?

2341
02:05:36,580 --> 02:05:37,440
Yeah, I'm here.

2342
02:05:37,540 --> 02:05:38,120
What's the story?

2343
02:05:38,220 --> 02:05:38,920
What's going on?

2344
02:05:38,920 --> 02:05:41,480
What have you got for us there?

2345
02:05:42,580 --> 02:05:50,160
Yeah, it seems to be Paul Meschkel's really gone to town on your styled pair of Louis Vuitton washed cotton denim wavy trousers.

2346
02:05:51,160 --> 02:05:52,660
You're coming through on my line there.

2347
02:05:53,520 --> 02:05:57,420
Yeah, it's a Louis Vuitton washed denim wavy trousers.

2348
02:05:57,540 --> 02:05:58,120
They're insane.

2349
02:05:59,580 --> 02:05:59,940
Show me.

2350
02:05:59,940 --> 02:06:00,100
Show me.

2351
02:06:00,100 --> 02:06:18,840
What?

2352
02:06:19,840 --> 02:06:20,980
What's going on there?

2353
02:06:21,980 --> 02:06:23,760
Well, it's Paul Meschkel, isn't it?

2354
02:06:23,820 --> 02:06:24,500
And he's...

2355
02:06:24,500 --> 02:06:25,500
Or is it Paul Meschkel?

2356
02:06:25,560 --> 02:06:26,520
I think it's someone else.

2357
02:06:26,680 --> 02:06:27,280
I'm not sure.

2358
02:06:27,360 --> 02:06:30,340
But look at the fucking style, Jack, that's gone on there, man.

2359
02:06:31,700 --> 02:06:32,220
That's my...

2360
02:06:32,220 --> 02:06:33,040
That's my style.

2361
02:06:34,640 --> 02:06:35,360
They can't...

2362
02:06:35,360 --> 02:06:36,320
How much are they cash?

2363
02:06:36,340 --> 02:06:37,380
How much are they selling for?

2364
02:06:37,440 --> 02:06:43,360
I think 1,500 euros.

2365
02:06:45,860 --> 02:06:48,460
1,500 euros for a pair of those bad boys.

2366
02:06:49,300 --> 02:06:52,620
Might need to focus the camera there.

2367
02:06:57,500 --> 02:06:59,660
It's a fucking hard buzz, actually.

2368
02:06:59,760 --> 02:07:00,260
We have to see one.

2369
02:07:17,760 --> 02:07:20,260
I don't know if you can see those shoes there.

2370
02:07:21,420 --> 02:07:22,560
Yeah, I can see them.

2371
02:07:22,560 --> 02:07:26,700
It's a complete rip-off of my style.

2372
02:07:26,700 --> 02:07:28,600
And I don't like it.

2373
02:07:29,780 --> 02:07:33,180
And there's going to be letters sent out in the post.

2374
02:07:34,320 --> 02:07:34,820
Ten a penny.

2375
02:07:42,220 --> 02:07:43,520
What do you think of that, Tom?

2376
02:07:43,580 --> 02:07:45,300
Are you upset by that, or what?

2377
02:07:46,300 --> 02:07:50,640
Well, I'm glad to see that the style is being represented out there in the major leagues.

2378
02:07:50,640 --> 02:07:56,380
But look at those wavy, wavy scenarios.

2379
02:07:56,380 --> 02:07:57,800
It's a crazy bit of business.

2380
02:07:58,880 --> 02:08:00,460
And those shoes as well.

2381
02:08:01,380 --> 02:08:02,440
They're on another level.

2382
02:08:04,480 --> 02:08:06,060
On another level entirely.

2383
02:08:07,000 --> 02:08:09,060
Could you get a close-up of those shoes, please?

2384
02:08:25,060 --> 02:08:27,980
That's the best I could do at the moment, Tom.

2385
02:08:31,640 --> 02:08:32,320
That's insane.

2386
02:08:33,480 --> 02:08:34,340
That's insane.

2387
02:08:37,620 --> 02:08:39,360
Could you send that picture to me, please?

2388
02:08:39,400 --> 02:08:41,000
I need to keep that as a brief.

2389
02:08:44,780 --> 02:08:46,760
You'd want to get yourself a pair of those anyway.

2390
02:08:46,760 --> 02:08:47,620
The wavy jabs.

2391
02:08:47,760 --> 02:08:48,600
Wavy boot cuts.

2392
02:08:49,920 --> 02:08:51,940
I'm not paying €1500 for them.

2393
02:08:53,400 --> 02:09:01,140
You could just buy a pair of oversized ones and then get them fucking tailored in or take it to a seamstress who can do the fucking job on it.

2394
02:09:04,360 --> 02:09:05,620
What about those shoes?

2395
02:09:05,620 --> 02:09:07,460
They're electric.

2396
02:09:08,020 --> 02:09:09,600
They are electric Ireland.

2397
02:09:10,180 --> 02:09:10,800
Look at that.

2398
02:09:12,800 --> 02:09:17,400
They're like leather chairs with the dimples on it or whatever you call those.

2399
02:09:17,620 --> 02:09:19,260
It's like red leather.

2400
02:09:26,100 --> 02:09:27,340
Crazy bit of business.

2401
02:09:29,160 --> 02:09:36,340
And Schindler's face there is exactly how I feel when compromised with that imagery.

2402
02:09:36,520 --> 02:09:37,660
It's really the software.

2403
02:09:37,660 --> 02:09:42,560
There's a lot of good educational and game software for both the PC and the Macintosh.

2404
02:09:43,280 --> 02:09:45,960
Personally, I think they don't need their own.

2405
02:09:46,080 --> 02:09:47,920
If you have one at home already, they can share it.

2406
02:09:48,140 --> 02:09:51,020
I don't think they need their own until maybe they're 11 or 12 years old.

2407
02:09:51,200 --> 02:09:55,840
But with the prices the way they are these days, for $750, you can get a fully functional PC.

2408
02:09:56,440 --> 02:09:57,980
It's expensive, but I think it's worth it.

2409
02:09:58,400 --> 02:09:58,820
Okay, Paul.

2410
02:09:58,820 --> 02:09:58,820
Okay, Paul.

2411
02:09:58,820 --> 02:10:04,300
Today we're going to look at a lot of neat computer presents, both hardware and software for children of all ages, as they say.

2412
02:10:04,500 --> 02:10:05,220
Okay, Paul.

2413
02:10:05,220 --> 02:10:10,300
Now, one of the troubles with gadgets that you buy for Christmas is some of them may end up buried in a closet at the end of one week.

2414
02:10:10,500 --> 02:10:14,340
But the good news is that the best of those end up in the Museum of American Heritage.

2415
02:10:14,480 --> 02:10:17,440
It's a kind of old-age home for antiquated technology.

2416
02:10:17,900 --> 02:10:19,180
Heritage Museum.

2417
02:10:19,180 --> 02:10:21,160
And we need a visit to the museum in Palo Alto, California.

2418
02:10:26,360 --> 02:10:32,500
The Museum of American Heritage is a world far removed from that of microprocessors and floppy disks.

2419
02:10:33,120 --> 02:10:34,420
Operating systems here are...

2420
02:10:34,420 --> 02:10:38,100
Richard Maidley, Shoplift and Silage, thank you very much for the tips and you're filthy.

2421
02:10:38,240 --> 02:10:38,900
Thank you very much.

2422
02:10:38,980 --> 02:10:40,980
The telephone for tomorrow, guys.

2423
02:10:41,140 --> 02:10:45,980
...are still of the manual variety, and memory is not measured in bytes, but in time.

2424
02:10:46,620 --> 02:10:50,600
This California museum specializes in machines from the Industrial Revolution.

2425
02:10:51,220 --> 02:10:51,360
Machines...

2426
02:10:51,920 --> 02:10:52,940
Analog dreams.

2427
02:10:52,940 --> 02:10:56,340
...that in their own time were nonetheless considered revolutionary.

2428
02:10:56,340 --> 02:11:02,140
Among the museum's prized possessions is this knitting machine dating from the late 1800s.

2429
02:11:02,640 --> 02:11:05,500
Small-scale entrepreneurs could buy it for just $25.

2430
02:11:06,200 --> 02:11:12,300
The museum's curator says the exhibit shows us what life was like before the advent of electronics and computers.

2431
02:11:12,300 --> 02:11:12,300
Wow.

2432
02:11:12,300 --> 02:11:14,540
Imagine doing your toast in that.

2433
02:11:14,800 --> 02:11:15,800
The intent of it is to...

2434
02:11:15,800 --> 02:11:18,600
You'll be a long time waiting on the schle, Don.

2435
02:11:18,600 --> 02:11:24,040
...show what went on before, as far back as we can go.

2436
02:11:24,040 --> 02:11:31,980
That is, we know that a computer is today, but what happened in the last 50 or 100 years to lead up to the computer.

2437
02:11:33,200 --> 02:11:34,040
It didn't just happen.

2438
02:11:34,040 --> 02:11:37,000
It didn't just happen. The computer didn't just happen to flash into place.

2439
02:11:37,000 --> 02:11:48,160
But not all of the items on display were technological successes. There are some prominent losers, like the minion, originally billed as an easy-to-use alternative to early typewriters.

2440
02:11:48,160 --> 02:11:57,100
It's a bit like the library detective in Seinfeld, who I think sadly passed there the last couple of months or two or three months, I'm not sure.

2441
02:11:57,100 --> 02:11:59,120
...the Minion.

2442
02:11:59,320 --> 02:12:03,000
...the letter, and then pushed a lever to print one letter at a time.

2443
02:12:03,720 --> 02:12:05,760
You got one of those Minions in the gap, have you?

2444
02:12:06,120 --> 02:12:13,980
But despite the occasional inventive flop, Livermore says that the museum's visitors leave with a better appreciation of today's technology.

2445
02:12:13,980 --> 02:12:24,160
That's what we're trying to do. Making it so that people don't forget, or can't forget. They can come here and remind themselves of how things work.

2446
02:12:24,160 --> 02:12:25,160
Never forget.

2447
02:12:25,160 --> 02:12:28,160
For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Maria Gabriel.

2448
02:12:28,160 --> 02:12:32,620
It's a PC Christmas.

2449
02:12:42,620 --> 02:12:49,920
We're happy to have Jan Lewis joining us for this special holiday show, and during this first segment, when we're looking at PC computer products, we have Chris Barr, West Coast editor.

2450
02:12:49,920 --> 02:12:53,760
Is that a ponytail on Chris Barr at the back there? It's insane looking.

2451
02:12:55,260 --> 02:12:57,060
...PC Magazine. And Chris, maybe you can begin.

2452
02:12:57,580 --> 02:13:05,820
Absolutely. I have two software packages here that are timed perfectly for the Christmas buyer. The first is the latest version of TurboTax. This is version 8.

2453
02:13:05,820 --> 02:13:07,140
And this has a lot of new features.

2454
02:13:07,140 --> 02:13:22,180
Whoa, I'd love to just be fucking getting that loaded up onto the screen. Do a TurboTax stream. Get a few ledgers up there. Really fucking get deep down and dirty in those returns. Fucking love that shit.

2455
02:13:25,260 --> 02:13:31,500
Maybe we'll do one. Maybe we'll do one. Maybe we'll come up with a few hypothetical fucking ledgers.

2456
02:13:31,500 --> 02:13:37,500
Hypothetical business ledgers and just fucking tax it up. Tax the night away.

2457
02:13:37,500 --> 02:13:51,160
One of them is an automatic tax, an audit flagging feature, and it has a hyper type of help facility that can just pull you right through and anybody can use it.

2458
02:13:51,160 --> 02:13:55,120
You never need to go to the post office and stand in line for forms anymore because they're all in here.

2459
02:13:55,400 --> 02:13:59,400
And it also has, you can also purchase separately, 44 different state versions.

2460
02:13:59,740 --> 02:14:02,580
This lists for $75 and the state versions are $40.

2461
02:14:03,020 --> 02:14:05,260
And this year, new this year also, is a Mac version.

2462
02:14:05,380 --> 02:14:05,920
Uh-huh, great.

2463
02:14:05,940 --> 02:14:06,600
Okay, for $89.

2464
02:14:07,600 --> 02:14:09,760
Okay, also, right, I have Quicken.

2465
02:14:10,140 --> 02:14:10,740
This is...

2466
02:14:10,740 --> 02:14:13,380
Because Schindler is not impressed in the slightest.

2467
02:14:13,380 --> 02:14:18,660
He's fucking waiting for any opportunity to go bananas about some tech.

2468
02:14:18,800 --> 02:14:22,980
But this tech stuff really isn't fucking roasting his potato at all.

2469
02:14:24,360 --> 02:14:25,960
Schindler's in the mood for Santa.

2470
02:14:26,800 --> 02:14:27,380
Santy.

2471
02:14:28,060 --> 02:14:28,740
Father Christmas.

2472
02:14:29,280 --> 02:14:30,020
Father Claus.

2473
02:14:30,420 --> 02:14:32,360
Whatever way you want to fucking skin that apple.

2474
02:14:33,700 --> 02:14:35,680
I think they call him Santa in the States.

2475
02:14:36,500 --> 02:14:38,220
And he's in the mood for that man.

2476
02:14:38,940 --> 02:14:40,460
In a big, massive way.

2477
02:14:40,840 --> 02:14:42,300
This is the latest version of Quicken.

2478
02:14:42,380 --> 02:14:43,380
This is 4.0.

2479
02:14:43,880 --> 02:14:45,380
And Quicken, well, let me just show you.

2480
02:14:45,500 --> 02:14:45,680
Okay.

2481
02:14:46,320 --> 02:14:46,680
Okay.

2482
02:14:47,500 --> 02:14:50,760
I think Stu's kind of a bit annoyed with Chris here.

2483
02:14:50,860 --> 02:14:52,360
He's not impressed with him.

2484
02:14:53,040 --> 02:14:54,200
Because he's not dominating.

2485
02:14:54,380 --> 02:14:55,180
He's not controlling.

2486
02:14:56,960 --> 02:14:59,420
And Stu just wants him to get the fucking thing done fast.

2487
02:14:59,480 --> 02:15:00,160
This is the latest version of Quicken.

2488
02:15:00,220 --> 02:15:01,240
This is 4.0.

2489
02:15:01,720 --> 02:15:03,220
And Quicken, well, let me just show you.

2490
02:15:03,340 --> 02:15:08,560
Quicken is known for its check writing ability.

2491
02:15:08,560 --> 02:15:15,020
You can write checks and you can print them out on your laser printer, your dot matrix, or through a check writing service.

2492
02:15:15,460 --> 02:15:19,460
But they have a new feature here, which is a way to track your investments.

2493
02:15:19,700 --> 02:15:21,540
This is similar to managing your money.

2494
02:15:22,180 --> 02:15:26,740
For instance, right here, we've put in a number of stocks that we're tracking here, IBM, Borland, etc.

2495
02:15:26,980 --> 02:15:29,760
And if we want to add a new stock, we just go right here.

2496
02:15:30,620 --> 02:15:32,740
We just do shares in.

2497
02:15:32,860 --> 02:15:33,340
We add it.

2498
02:15:33,680 --> 02:15:35,740
And let's say we're going to add Microsoft here.

2499
02:15:36,840 --> 02:15:39,540
So we just add Microsoft, put in what we paid for it.

2500
02:15:39,860 --> 02:15:41,220
We didn't pay that much.

2501
02:15:41,540 --> 02:15:42,600
Paul Meschglschlug.

2502
02:15:42,600 --> 02:15:43,780
Thanks very much.

2503
02:15:44,340 --> 02:15:45,620
And it tracks it for us right here.

2504
02:15:46,240 --> 02:15:52,720
And then as these things change, you can go up and you can update your prices and keep your portfolio up to date.

2505
02:15:52,880 --> 02:15:57,720
Go in from time to time and you can get a full viewing of your net worth and of your assets.

2506
02:15:58,420 --> 02:15:59,540
And percent gain and loss.

2507
02:15:59,680 --> 02:16:00,780
Percent gain and loss, right.

2508
02:16:01,060 --> 02:16:02,640
And this is brand new.

2509
02:16:02,720 --> 02:16:05,800
It lists for $59 and is available now.

2510
02:16:05,940 --> 02:16:06,200
Okay.

2511
02:16:06,580 --> 02:16:07,400
Jan, it's your turn.

2512
02:16:07,400 --> 02:16:09,340
You've got lots of boxes in front of you there.

2513
02:16:09,640 --> 02:16:10,400
Bunch of goodies here.

2514
02:16:10,440 --> 02:16:13,860
All different types of things that would make good Christmas presents.

2515
02:16:14,240 --> 02:16:17,500
Start with is something called Expands, which is just a little half-slot board.

2516
02:16:17,800 --> 02:16:23,500
And what this does basically is it gets as much as three times the amount of storage on your disk.

2517
02:16:23,560 --> 02:16:27,360
And the way it does it basically is it compresses the files, but it does it on the fly.

2518
02:16:27,460 --> 02:16:28,360
It's transparent to you.

2519
02:16:28,360 --> 02:16:30,360
It's a real Liza Minnelli way of talking.

2520
02:16:30,480 --> 02:16:32,800
It compresses it when it writes and reads and you don't even know it.

2521
02:16:32,800 --> 02:16:36,480
A real nice little package and it lists for $199.

2522
02:16:36,960 --> 02:16:38,300
He's got a powerful mouth.

2523
02:16:38,620 --> 02:16:42,720
We also have RAMPAC, which is two products that were bestsellers on their own.

2524
02:16:43,000 --> 02:16:47,500
PopDrop Plus, which lets you manage RAM resident utilities in expanded memory and things like that.

2525
02:16:47,740 --> 02:16:51,680
And then AboveDisc, which lets you use your disk as expanded memory,

2526
02:16:51,800 --> 02:16:54,080
saving you the money of going out and getting expanded memory.

2527
02:16:54,320 --> 02:16:55,020
Nice little package.

2528
02:16:55,240 --> 02:16:56,860
Together they're listing for $139.

2529
02:16:58,440 --> 02:17:01,340
After Dark has been a best-selling screensaver.

2530
02:17:01,660 --> 02:17:02,720
Oh, not this again.

2531
02:17:02,840 --> 02:17:04,740
Every fucking year After Dark.

2532
02:17:04,920 --> 02:17:06,460
Oh, fucking screensavers, man.

2533
02:17:06,560 --> 02:17:07,460
Fucking savage.

2534
02:17:07,680 --> 02:17:08,360
In the Macintosh.

2535
02:17:08,360 --> 02:17:08,560
Yeah.

2536
02:17:08,740 --> 02:17:10,140
And now they have it for the PC.

2537
02:17:10,260 --> 02:17:10,580
Oh, great.

2538
02:17:10,580 --> 02:17:10,920
It's wonderful.

2539
02:17:11,040 --> 02:17:12,180
I think people will love getting it.

2540
02:17:12,600 --> 02:17:13,700
Something I use quite a bit.

2541
02:17:13,720 --> 02:17:14,780
She knows the script.

2542
02:17:14,900 --> 02:17:17,340
She knows what to do on fucking Computer Chronicles.

2543
02:17:18,080 --> 02:17:18,960
The other guy didn't.

2544
02:17:19,380 --> 02:17:21,120
She's really hammering these products.

2545
02:17:21,200 --> 02:17:22,140
It's Grammatic 4.

2546
02:17:22,240 --> 02:17:23,020
It's for MS-DOS.

2547
02:17:23,060 --> 02:17:23,700
It's for Windows.

2548
02:17:24,520 --> 02:17:25,540
MS-DOS.

2549
02:17:26,060 --> 02:17:27,740
Easiest way to improve your writing.

2550
02:17:27,800 --> 02:17:32,100
It really analyzes your writing style, points out various things that maybe could be improved

2551
02:17:32,100 --> 02:17:33,020
or couldn't...

2552
02:17:33,020 --> 02:17:34,360
A good gift for kids too, aren't they?

2553
02:17:34,480 --> 02:17:35,720
I think for anybody who's doing writing.

2554
02:17:35,920 --> 02:17:37,500
Letters, homework, anything just about.

2555
02:17:38,260 --> 02:17:42,320
Percent edge, let's you do all sorts of amortization, mortgage calculations.

2556
02:17:42,320 --> 02:17:45,120
Would let you take your portfolio that Chris just showed up.

2557
02:17:45,120 --> 02:17:47,320
She'd be great in a kind of fucking...

2558
02:17:47,320 --> 02:17:53,300
A New York kind of gangsters, 1920s gangsters.

2559
02:17:53,500 --> 02:17:58,500
She'd be one of those dolls or dames in the gangster bars maybe, you know, back in her day or whatever.

2560
02:18:00,640 --> 02:18:02,920
Kind of Dick Tracy sort of vibes, is it?

2561
02:18:03,020 --> 02:18:03,120
Great.

2562
02:18:03,160 --> 02:18:04,560
You really earned on your appreciation.

2563
02:18:05,700 --> 02:18:09,840
Also, Computer Industry Almanac, Big Book, the 1990 version...

2564
02:18:09,840 --> 02:18:10,880
It's a big book, she!

2565
02:18:11,080 --> 02:18:11,500
...is out.

2566
02:18:11,860 --> 02:18:14,720
And it has just about everything you'd ever want to know about the computer industry.

2567
02:18:15,640 --> 02:18:18,140
And last but definitely not least is Lotus Magellan.

2568
02:18:18,320 --> 02:18:19,200
Okay, you're going to show us a little Magellan.

2569
02:18:19,200 --> 02:18:19,940
I'm going to show you that.

2570
02:18:20,080 --> 02:18:20,220
Yeah.

2571
02:18:20,340 --> 02:18:23,800
This is something that, you know, once you use it, you'd never use MS-DOS without it.

2572
02:18:25,340 --> 02:18:29,920
And basically, the kind of file management capabilities that you have with this

2573
02:18:29,920 --> 02:18:31,920
are extremely pleasant.

2574
02:18:32,300 --> 02:18:33,920
Here we have each of the drives.

2575
02:18:34,040 --> 02:18:34,780
We have four drives here.

2576
02:18:34,820 --> 02:18:36,280
We're going to be looking at the C drive.

2577
02:18:36,540 --> 02:18:40,040
Now, what you see on the right-hand side is everything that you would see in a DUR listing.

2578
02:18:40,220 --> 02:18:40,300
Right.

2579
02:18:40,420 --> 02:18:43,180
But what you can do is just with the cursor keys, you can go over here

2580
02:18:43,180 --> 02:18:47,540
and now have access to each one of these individual items.

2581
02:18:47,860 --> 02:18:50,020
Now, the directories are going to show you other things.

2582
02:18:50,140 --> 02:18:50,800
Can you look at the files?

2583
02:18:51,560 --> 02:18:52,540
You can look at the files, too.

2584
02:18:52,580 --> 02:18:54,020
Let's just say you can also find things.

2585
02:18:54,140 --> 02:18:56,420
They see UM files.

2586
02:18:57,360 --> 02:19:00,320
Let's say I want to find two other things.

2587
02:19:01,020 --> 02:19:02,000
Mouse.com.

2588
02:19:02,080 --> 02:19:05,080
Each one of these individual items.

2589
02:19:05,400 --> 02:19:07,580
Now, the directories are going to show you other things.

2590
02:19:07,700 --> 02:19:08,360
Can you look at the files?

2591
02:19:08,580 --> 02:19:09,480
You can look at the files, too.

2592
02:19:09,520 --> 02:19:10,960
Let's just say you can also find things.

2593
02:19:11,020 --> 02:19:12,620
Let's say I want to find Jan.

2594
02:19:12,780 --> 02:19:14,200
So it showed me two files.

2595
02:19:14,660 --> 02:19:15,480
Jan files.

2596
02:19:15,660 --> 02:19:15,980
See?

2597
02:19:16,200 --> 02:19:18,320
I'm going to go up in this directory and look at this one.

2598
02:19:18,640 --> 02:19:19,740
I can actually go in here.

2599
02:19:19,980 --> 02:19:22,480
Normally, to look at all these files, I have to have the applications.

2600
02:19:22,640 --> 02:19:23,420
I have to open them.

2601
02:19:23,580 --> 02:19:24,460
I don't have to do that.

2602
02:19:24,540 --> 02:19:25,180
You can do that from Magellan.

2603
02:19:25,180 --> 02:19:25,740
Each one of these.

2604
02:19:25,960 --> 02:19:30,980
And, in fact, if some of these things are not even ASCII files, you can still see them.

2605
02:19:31,080 --> 02:19:31,820
In their native mode.

2606
02:19:32,040 --> 02:19:32,400
Exactly.

2607
02:19:32,720 --> 02:19:33,820
Is it hard to use, Magellan?

2608
02:19:33,900 --> 02:19:34,100
I've heard that.

2609
02:19:34,100 --> 02:19:34,600
Not at all.

2610
02:19:35,080 --> 02:19:36,020
Just take a look at this.

2611
02:19:36,080 --> 02:19:39,560
You can do things like, again, you're just using really function keys and the...

2612
02:19:39,560 --> 02:19:41,860
Schindler's little looks are funny.

2613
02:19:42,000 --> 02:19:49,340
I think he's just like, maybe he's beginning to realize he's wearing the hat and the others aren't as in on the Christmas vibe.

2614
02:19:49,340 --> 02:19:51,120
And he's thinking, am I looking a bit silly?

2615
02:19:51,320 --> 02:19:57,380
At the same time, I don't think he cares because he's more of a kind of fucking freewheeling, free and easy kind of guy.

2616
02:19:58,500 --> 02:20:00,020
Just move there for a moment.

2617
02:20:00,140 --> 02:20:01,680
But he does do a little look up here.

2618
02:20:02,420 --> 02:20:04,380
And a little wry smile as well.

2619
02:20:04,840 --> 02:20:05,100
Look at that.

2620
02:20:06,540 --> 02:20:06,880
Lovely.

2621
02:20:07,080 --> 02:20:09,580
It's really festive.

2622
02:20:12,960 --> 02:20:17,060
This, you can do things like, again, you're just using really function keys and the cursor keys.

2623
02:20:17,180 --> 02:20:17,380
Let's...

2624
02:20:17,380 --> 02:20:18,740
Mushrooms kicking in.

2625
02:20:19,300 --> 02:20:22,040
I thought when he was looking at the...

2626
02:20:22,040 --> 02:20:27,320
He was looking into space there a minute ago when the tax was being discussed.

2627
02:20:27,640 --> 02:20:31,540
And didn't we speculate on his finances in later episodes?

2628
02:20:32,160 --> 02:20:35,460
So maybe there was a moment here when the bookings talked about TurboTax.

2629
02:20:35,860 --> 02:20:39,100
Let's just go back there for a moment and see his reaction.

2630
02:20:39,320 --> 02:20:41,160
Um, an audit flagging feature.

2631
02:20:41,640 --> 02:20:45,800
And it has a hyper type of office and stand for different.

2632
02:20:45,900 --> 02:20:46,480
Here, knew this right.

2633
02:20:46,560 --> 02:20:47,080
I have...

2634
02:20:47,080 --> 02:20:48,420
Look at Chinder there.

2635
02:20:48,480 --> 02:20:50,240
He knows something he's thinking about.

2636
02:20:50,660 --> 02:20:51,520
Oh my God.

2637
02:20:51,820 --> 02:20:52,960
What happens if I...

2638
02:20:52,960 --> 02:20:54,020
If they find me out?

2639
02:20:54,900 --> 02:20:55,960
Oh my God.

2640
02:20:57,020 --> 02:20:59,320
I never filed that 415.

2641
02:21:01,620 --> 02:21:01,940
Quicken.

2642
02:21:02,180 --> 02:21:03,840
This is the latest version of Quicken.

2643
02:21:03,900 --> 02:21:04,920
This is 4.0.

2644
02:21:05,580 --> 02:21:06,020
Okay, also...

2645
02:21:06,540 --> 02:21:07,380
Right, I have Quicken.

2646
02:21:07,640 --> 02:21:08,920
This is the latest version of Quicken.

2647
02:21:09,000 --> 02:21:09,380
This is $4.

2648
02:21:10,460 --> 02:21:11,020
Okay, also...

2649
02:21:11,600 --> 02:21:12,480
Right, I have Quicken.

2650
02:21:12,720 --> 02:21:14,020
This is the latest version of Quicken.

2651
02:21:14,080 --> 02:21:15,100
This is 4.0.

2652
02:21:17,160 --> 02:21:18,820
I have a similar product to Jan's.

2653
02:21:18,880 --> 02:21:19,820
This is called Stacker.

2654
02:21:20,120 --> 02:21:22,160
For $229, it can...

2655
02:21:22,160 --> 02:21:24,440
Stacker looks fucking lit.

2656
02:21:24,780 --> 02:21:25,880
Yeah, not bad.

2657
02:21:26,220 --> 02:21:27,460
Alright, Paul, you've got a bunch of boxes.

2658
02:21:27,660 --> 02:21:28,320
I sure do.

2659
02:21:28,440 --> 02:21:29,600
Starting with...

2660
02:21:29,600 --> 02:21:31,500
You know, I guess it's trite to pull a pocket...

2661
02:21:31,500 --> 02:21:33,280
He always does that pocket...

2662
02:21:33,280 --> 02:21:34,340
Maneuver.

2663
02:21:34,440 --> 02:21:35,360
Paul, you've got a bunch of boxes.

2664
02:21:35,540 --> 02:21:36,220
I sure do.

2665
02:21:36,340 --> 02:21:37,640
Starting with...

2666
02:21:37,640 --> 02:21:37,820
You know...

2667
02:21:37,820 --> 02:21:38,820
Starting...

2668
02:21:38,820 --> 02:21:42,180
I keep pressing the wrong fucking key there.

2669
02:21:42,180 --> 02:21:44,440
I like the way he's kept that in the top pocket.

2670
02:21:45,960 --> 02:21:47,820
Starting with...

2671
02:21:47,820 --> 02:21:51,120
You know, I guess it's trite to pull a pocket computer out of your pocket...

2672
02:21:51,120 --> 02:21:51,640
But you did it.

2673
02:21:51,640 --> 02:21:52,280
But I did it.

2674
02:21:52,400 --> 02:21:55,940
This is 1995 from Pocket Computer Corporation.

2675
02:21:56,240 --> 02:21:57,640
Been talking about it for a long time.

2676
02:21:57,700 --> 02:21:59,920
It's actually available on the market this Christmas.

2677
02:22:00,300 --> 02:22:02,020
And they have vastly improved the keyboard.

2678
02:22:02,220 --> 02:22:05,520
I have been quoted accurately in public as saying that this keyboard...

2679
02:22:05,520 --> 02:22:06,660
was not very usable.

2680
02:22:07,000 --> 02:22:07,980
It is now usable.

2681
02:22:08,100 --> 02:22:09,140
It's real and it's better.

2682
02:22:09,200 --> 02:22:10,120
It's real, it's better.

2683
02:22:10,220 --> 02:22:12,660
It's 1995 and it's expensive but interesting.

2684
02:22:13,700 --> 02:22:15,420
I have a similar product to Jan's.

2685
02:22:15,480 --> 02:22:16,420
This is called Stacker.

2686
02:22:16,720 --> 02:22:17,780
For $229.

2687
02:22:18,220 --> 02:22:20,080
It doesn't look like a disk drive...

2688
02:22:20,080 --> 02:22:22,000
But it can double the capacity of your disk drive...

2689
02:22:22,000 --> 02:22:23,060
By compressing files.

2690
02:22:23,440 --> 02:22:25,920
That's from Stack Electronics in Carlsbad, California.

2691
02:22:26,940 --> 02:22:27,840
I like this.

2692
02:22:27,900 --> 02:22:29,220
This is called the Fax...

2693
02:22:29,220 --> 02:22:30,480
Thank you very much, Mark.

2694
02:22:30,500 --> 02:22:31,500
You played the last of us.

2695
02:22:31,560 --> 02:22:33,360
I started but I couldn't...

2696
02:22:33,360 --> 02:22:35,360
I don't know if I...

2697
02:22:35,360 --> 02:22:37,640
It really lit my fire as a stream game.

2698
02:22:37,740 --> 02:22:38,820
I played it on...

2699
02:22:38,820 --> 02:22:39,680
Off stream...

2700
02:22:39,680 --> 02:22:40,700
When it first came out.

2701
02:22:40,940 --> 02:22:41,780
And I liked it.

2702
02:22:41,800 --> 02:22:43,600
But I didn't really like it on the fucking stream.

2703
02:22:45,080 --> 02:22:45,680
Maybe...

2704
02:22:45,680 --> 02:22:47,500
Maybe we're revisiting it again.

2705
02:22:48,500 --> 02:22:49,360
Not on this fucking...

2706
02:22:50,820 --> 02:22:51,980
Bastard Xbox.

2707
02:22:54,980 --> 02:22:56,940
Not exactly like the Veg-O-Matic.

2708
02:22:56,940 --> 02:23:00,760
But it receives faxes and prints them out on your printer.

2709
02:23:01,160 --> 02:23:03,960
So that you don't need a separate fax if all you're doing is receiving.

2710
02:23:04,400 --> 02:23:05,860
It's kind of hefty.

2711
02:23:05,920 --> 02:23:08,780
$400 from Tall Tree Systems in Palo Alto, California.

2712
02:23:09,360 --> 02:23:10,520
But it...

2713
02:23:10,520 --> 02:23:12,380
By the way, and all the other things I'm showing this year,

2714
02:23:12,440 --> 02:23:15,240
I picked out with the help of my colleague Richard Dalton,

2715
02:23:15,300 --> 02:23:17,720
who also helps me do the software reviews on the Computer Chronicles.

2716
02:23:17,720 --> 02:23:19,520
The HP LaserJet 2P.

2717
02:23:19,640 --> 02:23:21,360
$800 this Christmas season.

2718
02:23:21,540 --> 02:23:23,320
And if you buy it before the end of the year,

2719
02:23:23,620 --> 02:23:27,100
they'll throw in a free paper cartridge that's normally $125.

2720
02:23:27,640 --> 02:23:28,420
Absolutely great.

2721
02:23:28,960 --> 02:23:29,200
Beautiful.

2722
02:23:29,200 --> 02:23:32,340
Finally, the Microsoft Entertainment Pack for Windows.

2723
02:23:32,760 --> 02:23:34,060
I heartily recommend it.

2724
02:23:34,100 --> 02:23:35,520
Everybody needs to play now and then.

2725
02:23:35,560 --> 02:23:37,580
And in the Windows environment, you can just bring it up, play,

2726
02:23:37,660 --> 02:23:39,720
and then hide it quickly when the boss comes in,

2727
02:23:39,960 --> 02:23:41,220
a la the Mac environment.

2728
02:23:41,680 --> 02:23:46,040
Lots of different things on here, including a cute little screensaver

2729
02:23:46,040 --> 02:23:48,000
with your choice of...

2730
02:23:48,000 --> 02:23:53,820
With your choice of on-screen environments.

2731
02:23:54,660 --> 02:23:57,360
And that's my suggestion.

2732
02:23:57,460 --> 02:23:58,300
It also has Tetris.

2733
02:23:58,420 --> 02:23:59,160
It has Solitaire.

2734
02:23:59,740 --> 02:24:02,060
And it's a great adjunct.

2735
02:24:02,200 --> 02:24:03,720
And that is, of course, from Microsoft.

2736
02:24:03,920 --> 02:24:04,180
$40.

2737
02:24:04,680 --> 02:24:05,140
All right.

2738
02:24:05,180 --> 02:24:07,120
We've got a couple minutes left, and it's my turn.

2739
02:24:07,820 --> 02:24:09,920
You were talking about faxes, Paul.

2740
02:24:10,460 --> 02:24:12,300
A couple years ago, you may remember, Jan,

2741
02:24:12,360 --> 02:24:12,820
we had the...

2742
02:24:12,820 --> 02:24:14,180
When Worldport came out with a little modem.

2743
02:24:14,560 --> 02:24:16,760
This is now a fax modem for your laptop.

2744
02:24:17,240 --> 02:24:18,480
9,600 baud.

2745
02:24:18,580 --> 02:24:20,260
A fax modem, 2,400 baud.

2746
02:24:20,740 --> 02:24:21,860
Data modem, pretty neat.

2747
02:24:21,900 --> 02:24:22,520
You can carry it around.

2748
02:24:22,840 --> 02:24:25,360
I think it costs, what, $699, a nice little toy.

2749
02:24:25,440 --> 02:24:29,640
Now, a lot of us have laptops with modems and cellular phones or car phones,

2750
02:24:29,680 --> 02:24:30,520
but you can't plug them in.

2751
02:24:30,780 --> 02:24:32,440
This little black box does it.

2752
02:24:32,460 --> 02:24:33,460
It's called the data cell.

2753
02:24:33,740 --> 02:24:37,240
You put your modem in here from your computer, your car phone plug in here,

2754
02:24:37,460 --> 02:24:41,400
and you can use your cellular phone, your car phone for a fax machine or for a modem.

2755
02:24:41,460 --> 02:24:42,100
It's really a neat toy.

2756
02:24:42,300 --> 02:24:43,360
It's only $299.

2757
02:24:43,820 --> 02:24:44,280
It's really helpful.

2758
02:24:44,280 --> 02:24:44,680
Sweet need.

2759
02:24:44,680 --> 02:24:45,440
It's on the run a lot.

2760
02:24:45,720 --> 02:24:47,220
A couple of software things I want to mention.

2761
02:24:47,340 --> 02:24:47,940
Play it by ear.

2762
02:24:48,000 --> 02:24:50,700
If you're trying to sing Christmas carols this year and you find you can't carry a tune,

2763
02:24:51,220 --> 02:24:54,720
this lets you train your ears so you can recognize the note, recognize the chord.

2764
02:24:54,820 --> 02:24:56,720
It's a nice little thing for kids in particular.

2765
02:24:57,220 --> 02:24:57,660
$99.

2766
02:24:58,100 --> 02:24:59,080
Play it by ear.

2767
02:24:59,360 --> 02:25:00,920
This is a rather interesting program.

2768
02:25:01,040 --> 02:25:01,900
Bible Illustrator.

2769
02:25:02,020 --> 02:25:02,640
It's not an illustration.

2770
02:25:02,880 --> 02:25:03,780
Fucking shoes.

2771
02:25:03,980 --> 02:25:04,260
Fucking.

2772
02:25:04,720 --> 02:25:07,100
It's like a machine gun of products.

2773
02:25:07,960 --> 02:25:09,800
It's like, this is that, that's that.

2774
02:25:09,980 --> 02:25:10,700
That does this.

2775
02:25:10,820 --> 02:25:11,560
This does that.

2776
02:25:11,680 --> 02:25:12,380
That's good.

2777
02:25:12,740 --> 02:25:13,260
Next one.

2778
02:25:13,420 --> 02:25:14,220
On to the next one.

2779
02:25:14,320 --> 02:25:14,900
There we go.

2780
02:25:15,180 --> 02:25:16,920
Really schooling these amateurs.

2781
02:25:18,140 --> 02:25:28,240
Fucking, he had a fraction of the time of stew or he had double the time of stew and he presented two pieces of software and you can tell he's just thinking, what the fuck?

2782
02:25:28,260 --> 02:25:28,760
I blew it.

2783
02:25:29,300 --> 02:25:31,180
They'll never invite me onto the show again.

2784
02:25:32,360 --> 02:25:33,300
There's no pictures.

2785
02:25:34,240 --> 02:25:38,060
And she's impressed with the Tommy gun like way he's blasting through this.

2786
02:25:39,200 --> 02:25:43,700
Like the Tommy gun she would have seen in the fucking speakeasies back in the day.

2787
02:25:45,060 --> 02:25:47,960
But it gives you stories to explain principles in the Bible.

2788
02:25:48,360 --> 02:25:50,340
You look up any concept that has to do with the Bible.

2789
02:25:50,440 --> 02:25:55,360
For instance, I looked up something like the phrase God bless you and it told me what the origin of God bless you was.

2790
02:25:55,440 --> 02:25:59,980
Back in 750, Gregory the Great thought when you sneezed, you sneezed your soul out and you needed a prayer.

2791
02:26:00,240 --> 02:26:01,840
He said the prayer shall be God bless you.

2792
02:26:02,020 --> 02:26:03,320
Came out of Bible Illustrator.

2793
02:26:03,540 --> 02:26:06,320
I want to show off this thing, the American Heritage Electronic Dictionary.

2794
02:26:06,380 --> 02:26:09,500
We saw at the very beginning that encyclopedia on a CD-ROM.

2795
02:26:09,700 --> 02:26:11,980
Most people think you need a CD-ROM to do this kind of thing.

2796
02:26:12,160 --> 02:26:15,700
You can have this dictionary online as a TSR just on your hard drive.

2797
02:26:15,760 --> 02:26:18,980
Let me show you an example of how powerful this particular thing is.

2798
02:26:19,020 --> 02:26:19,640
You can call it up.

2799
02:26:20,040 --> 02:26:23,300
What's nice about this dictionary is sometimes you don't know what word you want.

2800
02:26:23,420 --> 02:26:24,500
So a dictionary is useless.

2801
02:26:24,600 --> 02:26:25,560
A thesaurus is even useless.

2802
02:26:25,880 --> 02:26:31,400
So as I'm trying to, I know there's a name for a sail on a boat that's in that third position, but I can't remember the name of the darn thing.

2803
02:26:31,400 --> 02:26:39,460
I say, well, find me a word that has something to do with sailing and something to do with a mast, and I think, you know, it's the number three thing on there.

2804
02:26:39,520 --> 02:26:40,800
Is there such a thing in your dictionary?

2805
02:26:41,500 --> 02:26:41,740
Boom.

2806
02:26:42,020 --> 02:26:43,160
The word was mizzenmast.

2807
02:26:43,220 --> 02:26:44,100
I can double-check the meaning.

2808
02:26:44,220 --> 02:26:45,700
That's exactly the word I was looking for.

2809
02:26:45,800 --> 02:26:46,760
Fucking mizzenmast.

2810
02:26:46,780 --> 02:26:49,920
Last but not least, this little baby over here.

2811
02:26:50,040 --> 02:26:58,300
This is the new 386, 20 megahertz, 20 megabyte hard drive, VGA screen, 9x11 notebook computer from AST.

2812
02:26:58,300 --> 02:27:02,820
It's an absolute desktop in a notebook form, and it's selling for only $29.95.

2813
02:27:03,080 --> 02:27:08,400
So if you're really looking for that high-quality gift, really one of the best-looking desktops I've seen around.

2814
02:27:08,740 --> 02:27:13,720
All right, we're going to be back in just a minute with some gifts for the Macintosh people on your list, so stay with us.

2815
02:27:15,800 --> 02:27:16,960
Oh, look at that wipe.

2816
02:27:19,720 --> 02:27:27,860
The look of Stu is in your eyes.

2817
02:27:27,860 --> 02:27:35,000
His head and face is halfway there.

2818
02:27:35,520 --> 02:27:40,160
You can see his eyes and head looking through the clouds.

2819
02:27:41,220 --> 02:27:44,720
It's Stu, and you know it's who.

2820
02:27:44,720 --> 02:27:48,000
He can see everything about you.

2821
02:27:48,140 --> 02:27:51,120
Feel the tech around you.

2822
02:27:53,460 --> 02:28:01,400
The wipe of Stu is in your room.

2823
02:28:05,120 --> 02:28:20,280
Yeah. It's going to be a Mac-Mac Christmas.

2824
02:28:20,280 --> 02:28:35,820
We're back now with Paul Schindler and Jan Lewis, and joining us in this segment when we're talking about Macintosh products, Andrew Eisner, director of Mac User Labs.

2825
02:28:35,900 --> 02:28:36,900
Now, before we get to you, Andrew...

2826
02:28:36,900 --> 02:28:47,900
Tonight at 9 on Dispatch is...

2827
02:28:49,820 --> 02:28:51,900
Andrew Labs' Mac User Extraordinaire.

2828
02:28:54,400 --> 02:28:55,760
What did he know?

2829
02:28:57,460 --> 02:28:58,740
What did he do?

2830
02:29:01,920 --> 02:29:03,580
When will he strike again?

2831
02:29:09,120 --> 02:29:11,160
He looks like Tom.

2832
02:29:12,620 --> 02:29:13,180
Tom.

2833
02:29:15,360 --> 02:29:16,700
Hello. How are you getting on?

2834
02:29:17,120 --> 02:29:20,380
There's a fella here, Tom. He looks like you, but without the cap.

2835
02:29:20,800 --> 02:29:24,520
We need to get a fucking PNG transparent image cap for this guy.

2836
02:29:25,400 --> 02:29:26,480
It's you, Tom.

2837
02:29:26,820 --> 02:29:30,640
It's you in the Computer Chronicles back in 1990, Tom.

2838
02:29:32,240 --> 02:29:33,360
He looks nothing like me.

2839
02:29:35,120 --> 02:29:37,260
The fuck are you talking about? He looks nothing like me.

2840
02:29:39,280 --> 02:29:41,240
It's you, Tom. You know it's you.

2841
02:29:41,920 --> 02:29:44,340
He just doesn't have the fucking cap and the leather jacket.

2842
02:29:48,300 --> 02:29:49,800
I'm not sure about that now.

2843
02:29:49,800 --> 02:29:52,080
I don't think that's me.

2844
02:29:53,620 --> 02:29:55,320
Might be my brother, I think, maybe.

2845
02:29:59,060 --> 02:30:01,040
Can we get a cap on this guy?

2846
02:30:02,380 --> 02:30:04,640
Can we get a fucking cap on this guy?

2847
02:30:07,460 --> 02:30:10,260
Feel my arse around you.

2848
02:30:13,260 --> 02:30:16,380
Cold Sean PNG.

2849
02:30:16,380 --> 02:30:23,700
Well, we needn't even fucking bother.

2850
02:30:23,840 --> 02:30:26,400
We could just get this picture and drop that one on.

2851
02:30:27,480 --> 02:30:28,260
Save image.

2852
02:30:29,980 --> 02:30:30,340
Desktop.

2853
02:30:34,340 --> 02:30:36,100
I think that one is there.

2854
02:30:36,220 --> 02:30:36,700
Let's see.

2855
02:30:37,320 --> 02:30:38,500
Fuck, that might work, man.

2856
02:30:38,640 --> 02:30:39,720
This could be even better.

2857
02:30:40,920 --> 02:30:42,100
This could be even better.

2858
02:30:42,280 --> 02:30:43,380
Maybe you need this.

2859
02:30:43,380 --> 02:30:43,540
Okay.

2860
02:30:43,540 --> 02:30:50,660
Classic snapback.

2861
02:30:53,860 --> 02:30:56,220
Can't be downloaded securely.

2862
02:30:58,300 --> 02:30:59,460
Bear with me here.

2863
02:30:59,560 --> 02:31:10,260
This is not something we want to fucking walk away from lightly here because we do have a Sipovitz-esque Tommy Schlug scenario buyer's guide.

2864
02:31:11,840 --> 02:31:14,020
Let me just fucking find this now.

2865
02:31:23,160 --> 02:31:24,340
Do-loo-loo-doo-doo.

2866
02:31:24,420 --> 02:31:26,440
Might just play that while I'm looking for this.

2867
02:31:27,000 --> 02:31:29,980
One of my suggested gifts is this Mac 2 SI.

2868
02:31:30,100 --> 02:31:31,620
It doesn't come with the dinosaur, by the way.

2869
02:31:31,960 --> 02:31:35,340
But it's 35% less expensive than any Mac 2 has ever been before.

2870
02:31:35,440 --> 02:31:36,300
Of course, comes with color.

2871
02:31:36,400 --> 02:31:38,620
The 68030 20 megabyte drive.

2872
02:31:38,680 --> 02:31:39,440
40 megabyte drive.

2873
02:31:39,500 --> 02:31:40,540
In fact, 2 megabytes of RAM.

2874
02:31:40,860 --> 02:31:41,600
Very nice machine.

2875
02:31:41,680 --> 02:31:43,900
About $3,700 to get the Mac 2 SI.

2876
02:31:44,400 --> 02:31:47,540
Now, given I've got that machine, Andrew, show me some things I can do with it.

2877
02:31:47,880 --> 02:31:51,820
Well, Stuart, first of all, a fun item on top of the screen here is a computer critter.

2878
02:31:51,940 --> 02:31:52,720
This is a dinosaur.

2879
02:31:53,060 --> 02:31:56,240
Dinosaur can also get a rabbit, and they cost about $25 or $30.

2880
02:31:56,640 --> 02:31:57,020
Oh, yeah.

2881
02:31:57,040 --> 02:31:58,700
I've got a couple of CD-ROMs I brought along.

2882
02:31:58,800 --> 02:32:04,360
First of all, the Microsoft Office has four popular Microsoft programs, and it also has the manuals.

2883
02:32:04,480 --> 02:32:05,900
It's given 2 megabytes of RAM.

2884
02:32:06,000 --> 02:32:06,420
Of course, Dino.

2885
02:32:06,500 --> 02:32:11,480
Now, joining us in this segment when we're talking about Macintosh products, Andrew Eisner, director of MacUser Labs.

2886
02:32:11,480 --> 02:32:35,560
How can we turn this fucking yoke around in OBS?

2887
02:32:35,560 --> 02:32:36,360
I don't think you can.

2888
02:32:36,520 --> 02:32:38,760
You can't move it around like you can in Photoshop.

2889
02:32:38,760 --> 02:32:42,980
I wonder.

2890
02:32:45,920 --> 02:32:49,360
Looks nothing fucking like me, and it goes away when you move to my voice anywhere.

2891
02:32:52,360 --> 02:32:54,360
Well, we can do something about that.

2892
02:32:56,000 --> 02:32:58,060
Most definitely do something about that.

2893
02:32:58,700 --> 02:33:05,220
And let us just really get to grips with this scenario here.

2894
02:33:05,220 --> 02:33:10,220
I don't know what you're saying.

2895
02:33:10,700 --> 02:33:13,700
I don't think you know exactly what you're doing.

2896
02:33:13,820 --> 02:33:15,340
Jeez Christ, it's me.

2897
02:33:16,200 --> 02:33:17,620
Didn't I fucking tell you, Tom?

2898
02:33:17,900 --> 02:33:20,180
I can't move the cap around to angle it.

2899
02:33:20,820 --> 02:33:21,460
Doesn't matter.

2900
02:33:21,600 --> 02:33:22,420
It's fucking double.

2901
02:33:23,500 --> 02:33:24,640
Jeez, maybe that was me.

2902
02:33:25,980 --> 02:33:27,860
Maybe it was you back in the day.

2903
02:33:27,900 --> 02:33:31,460
Do you remember doing anything on Computer Chronicles back in the day, Tom?

2904
02:33:32,740 --> 02:33:35,800
I can remember doing a bit of work over in the States, all right?

2905
02:33:36,080 --> 02:33:40,740
And I would be working tunnels, mainly ditches and tunnels.

2906
02:33:41,580 --> 02:33:47,120
But there were a few times when, you know, after work, you'd go off on a Friday evening,

2907
02:33:47,280 --> 02:33:49,860
you'd throw the wages behind the bell, and you'd fucking go off on one.

2908
02:33:49,920 --> 02:33:51,960
You wouldn't know where you'd end up by Saturday, Sunday.

2909
02:33:53,040 --> 02:33:57,580
And I can remember actually waking up and doing a thing on a TV studio.

2910
02:33:58,800 --> 02:34:01,360
And they put a suit on me and said, are you ready, Tom?

2911
02:34:01,480 --> 02:34:05,020
Five, four, three, two, one, before I could even have time to explain to them

2912
02:34:05,020 --> 02:34:07,660
that they got the wrong man I was on here.

2913
02:34:07,800 --> 02:34:09,800
So I think it was me, yeah.

2914
02:34:09,940 --> 02:34:13,600
I have to say that I'm actually pretty sure it was me one day.

2915
02:34:15,140 --> 02:34:18,020
And can you explain the difference in voice?

2916
02:34:18,100 --> 02:34:19,980
Because there's a bit of a different voice going on there.

2917
02:34:24,300 --> 02:34:25,200
Tom, are you there, Tom?

2918
02:34:26,080 --> 02:34:27,040
Yeah, sorry, I'm still here.

2919
02:34:27,940 --> 02:34:30,180
Can you explain the voice over there?

2920
02:34:32,580 --> 02:34:37,320
I think they dubbed, they just dubbed over, they dubbed it over like when I was talking.

2921
02:34:39,100 --> 02:34:44,180
So if you play it there now, I'd be able to dub it over myself while he's talking.

2922
02:34:45,860 --> 02:34:47,340
You have to clean up my audio, though.

2923
02:34:47,340 --> 02:34:52,500
Before we get to you, Andrew, one of my 60% less draft for you, I, an item on time.

2924
02:34:52,500 --> 02:35:04,380
Have you a different cap, like one that goes to the side?

2925
02:35:07,180 --> 02:35:09,000
Just working on that one now.

2926
02:35:10,500 --> 02:35:11,760
It's handy that these things are up.

2927
02:35:15,260 --> 02:35:16,880
They're back in fashion, like, you know?

2928
02:35:16,880 --> 02:35:19,880
I'm sure they never left.

2929
02:35:20,020 --> 02:35:21,020
They never left the building.

2930
02:35:22,640 --> 02:35:23,820
They never left the building.

2931
02:35:27,240 --> 02:35:28,200
This guy knows it.

2932
02:35:28,200 --> 02:35:29,740
They actually called me Andrew Eisner.

2933
02:35:31,080 --> 02:35:31,620
When I was...

2934
02:35:31,620 --> 02:35:40,780
Return of the Mac.

2935
02:35:40,860 --> 02:35:41,880
Thanks very much for the tip.

2936
02:35:44,700 --> 02:35:45,400
Top of the screen.

2937
02:35:45,400 --> 02:35:45,460
Top of the screen.

2938
02:35:58,260 --> 02:36:01,120
Well, I'll tell you now about this Macintosh.

2939
02:36:01,200 --> 02:36:02,080
It's a great computer.

2940
02:36:03,040 --> 02:36:04,760
Two of these will set you back.

2941
02:36:05,000 --> 02:36:06,280
The house and the wife.

2942
02:36:07,260 --> 02:36:07,840
But it's a...

2943
02:36:07,840 --> 02:36:09,240
You can get a great...

2944
02:36:09,240 --> 02:36:11,940
You can get a great application for it.

2945
02:36:12,300 --> 02:36:13,640
It's a beautiful piece of machinery.

2946
02:36:14,320 --> 02:36:15,480
It costs a lot of money.

2947
02:36:16,120 --> 02:36:18,640
But you can get a great dinosaur game for the kids.

2948
02:36:19,700 --> 02:36:20,960
There's dinosaur games on it.

2949
02:36:21,620 --> 02:36:23,240
You can also get...

2950
02:36:24,380 --> 02:36:26,080
Can you clean the audio up there, Francis?

2951
02:36:27,120 --> 02:36:27,900
Yeah, one sec.

2952
02:36:27,940 --> 02:36:30,260
You should be clean and ready to go now.

2953
02:36:31,800 --> 02:36:34,380
I'll have to adjust the cap there as well on you for a second, Tom.

2954
02:36:38,300 --> 02:36:41,080
You're looking a bit kind of hip-hop there now.

2955
02:36:42,400 --> 02:36:43,560
Conrad, thanks very much.

2956
02:36:43,620 --> 02:36:44,300
In return of the Mac.

2957
02:36:44,360 --> 02:36:45,680
And Tommy Mac, thanks very much.

2958
02:36:48,960 --> 02:36:49,560
Okay, Tom.

2959
02:36:49,620 --> 02:36:50,000
Go for it.

2960
02:36:50,020 --> 02:36:50,440
Take it away.

2961
02:36:52,160 --> 02:36:53,620
Now, you see the CD here.

2962
02:36:53,620 --> 02:36:55,360
It's a quality, quality CD.

2963
02:36:55,920 --> 02:36:56,360
Oh, fuck.

2964
02:36:58,660 --> 02:37:00,540
This is a great piece of machinery here.

2965
02:37:01,220 --> 02:37:01,840
It's a...

2966
02:37:01,840 --> 02:37:03,600
None of the Microsoft Office.

2967
02:37:03,740 --> 02:37:04,440
Compact disc.

2968
02:37:04,800 --> 02:37:05,740
It's a beautiful CD.

2969
02:37:05,900 --> 02:37:06,460
It's great music.

2970
02:37:06,560 --> 02:37:07,020
Great tunes.

2971
02:37:09,120 --> 02:37:10,960
Great tunes on this one here.

2972
02:37:11,040 --> 02:37:12,180
It's called Caravan of Love.

2973
02:37:14,580 --> 02:37:18,700
And it's about a caravan that has a lot of love inside it.

2974
02:37:18,700 --> 02:37:19,720
It's beautiful stuff.

2975
02:37:22,220 --> 02:37:23,460
Next thing I have here.

2976
02:37:23,460 --> 02:37:25,460
It's not a CD.

2977
02:37:26,100 --> 02:37:26,360
Sorry.

2978
02:37:26,600 --> 02:37:27,280
It's not a CD.

2979
02:37:27,440 --> 02:37:28,560
But I'll tell you something, man.

2980
02:37:29,000 --> 02:37:31,340
This is a cool piece of technology, man.

2981
02:37:31,880 --> 02:37:32,420
I'll tell you.

2982
02:37:33,140 --> 02:37:34,040
It's fantastic.

2983
02:37:34,840 --> 02:37:37,700
It's called Where in the World is Caravan San Diego?

2984
02:37:38,320 --> 02:37:39,740
It's a fucking great game.

2985
02:37:40,000 --> 02:37:41,200
Powerful, powerful game.

2986
02:37:41,580 --> 02:37:42,540
Powerful piece of work.

2987
02:37:43,060 --> 02:37:45,000
And you go around the world trying to find Caravan.

2988
02:37:45,480 --> 02:37:46,380
Tell you something, dudes.

2989
02:37:46,860 --> 02:37:50,380
This is something you really want to get going for Christmas.

2990
02:37:50,540 --> 02:37:51,100
This is a...

2991
02:37:51,100 --> 02:37:53,600
We got a heavy piece here now, boys.

2992
02:37:54,080 --> 02:37:55,320
This is a machine.

2993
02:37:55,840 --> 02:37:57,500
It's a fucking disc jockey.

2994
02:37:58,360 --> 02:38:00,460
What you do is you turn the volume down on it.

2995
02:38:00,620 --> 02:38:01,960
Because it's very loud.

2996
02:38:01,960 --> 02:38:05,140
And you get it rolling on the screen.

2997
02:38:05,680 --> 02:38:06,520
And it really...

2998
02:38:06,520 --> 02:38:08,420
It really gets the planes going.

2999
02:38:08,780 --> 02:38:09,860
If you're into planes.

3000
02:38:10,680 --> 02:38:11,520
And you're into chairs.

3001
02:38:12,400 --> 02:38:14,840
It's the best fucking thing you can ever use.

3002
02:38:15,460 --> 02:38:17,060
And it only costs $500.

3003
02:38:19,880 --> 02:38:22,380
It only costs $500 per piece.

3004
02:38:26,060 --> 02:38:28,780
...of the popular game Cosmic.

3005
02:38:28,780 --> 02:38:44,920
Cawabunga, dudes.

3006
02:38:45,620 --> 02:38:47,000
Well, Cawabunga, dudes,

3007
02:38:47,060 --> 02:38:49,240
this is a great game called Cosmic Osmo.

3008
02:38:49,860 --> 02:38:51,340
And what is it about an ant?

3009
02:38:51,660 --> 02:38:53,860
Cool kind of dude who lives on planet ant.

3010
02:38:54,580 --> 02:38:56,360
And what you do with this guy is

3011
02:38:56,360 --> 02:38:58,140
you fucking control him with a gamepad.

3012
02:38:58,660 --> 02:39:00,180
And he's a cheeky little boy.

3013
02:39:00,880 --> 02:39:02,660
Now, next up is this finger box.

3014
02:39:03,200 --> 02:39:04,980
Now it's made in China.

3015
02:39:05,100 --> 02:39:07,220
You can get this down in Chinatown.

3016
02:39:07,700 --> 02:39:08,800
And it's a finger box.

3017
02:39:08,880 --> 02:39:09,960
You stick the fingers in it

3018
02:39:09,960 --> 02:39:11,560
and you press go

3019
02:39:11,560 --> 02:39:13,560
and plug it into the side hatch.

3020
02:39:13,940 --> 02:39:16,440
And it gives you a real good sensation on the fingers.

3021
02:39:16,720 --> 02:39:17,600
That's all I have for you.

3022
02:39:28,540 --> 02:39:29,260
Just as good as always.

3023
02:39:29,260 --> 02:39:32,520
We also have a real nice fractal program called Designer Fractals.

3024
02:39:32,520 --> 02:39:34,500
This lets you not only make your own fractals,

3025
02:39:34,620 --> 02:39:36,540
but make Mandel movies, they call it,

3026
02:39:36,540 --> 02:39:39,380
where you can actually zoom and pan around the Mandel across space.

3027
02:39:39,460 --> 02:39:41,300
It's something that's really, really fun.

3028
02:39:41,680 --> 02:39:42,640
This one I don't recall.

3029
02:39:42,760 --> 02:39:43,340
It's real cheap.

3030
02:39:43,400 --> 02:39:43,900
It's under $30.

3031
02:39:44,180 --> 02:39:44,980
I don't recall the price of it.

3032
02:39:45,540 --> 02:39:50,100
For HyperCard, Wild Things has just a bunch of X commands on there

3033
02:39:50,100 --> 02:39:52,120
that can let you do all sorts of really, really neat animation.

3034
02:39:53,420 --> 02:39:55,960
Handoff 2 is a really useful utility.

3035
02:39:56,420 --> 02:39:58,280
What this does is, first of all, it's a file launcher,

3036
02:39:58,400 --> 02:39:59,560
sort of like on cue.

3037
02:39:59,800 --> 02:40:01,220
But what it does in addition to that

3038
02:40:01,220 --> 02:40:03,480
is it actually lets you launch from the Finder

3039
02:40:03,480 --> 02:40:06,060
documents that don't have an application.

3040
02:40:06,140 --> 02:40:09,420
and it lets you set up a variety of those types of things.

3041
02:40:09,420 --> 02:40:09,660
Okay.

3042
02:40:09,660 --> 02:40:21,340
that don't have an application.

3043
02:40:21,340 --> 02:40:23,500
No!

3044
02:40:23,500 --> 02:40:23,680
No!

3045
02:40:23,680 --> 02:40:41,240
Where does this fucking dot?

3046
02:40:49,240 --> 02:40:50,080
Oh my god.

3047
02:40:50,080 --> 02:41:05,120
Just a hat.

3048
02:41:08,340 --> 02:41:09,360
He's just a hat.

3049
02:41:09,360 --> 02:41:23,200
Can I tell you what I've got for you?

3050
02:41:26,420 --> 02:41:28,160
Got a lovely piece of pudding here.

3051
02:41:29,460 --> 02:41:31,360
Now this will blow your socks off.

3052
02:41:32,260 --> 02:41:34,640
It's called the painting cat.

3053
02:41:36,300 --> 02:41:37,720
It's a lovely bit of software.

3054
02:41:39,120 --> 02:41:39,960
I can't see.

3055
02:41:40,240 --> 02:41:41,840
I can't see any further than that.

3056
02:41:41,900 --> 02:41:42,940
It's a lovely piece of software.

3057
02:41:43,880 --> 02:41:44,920
You get that loaded up,

3058
02:41:45,460 --> 02:41:46,500
it'll last you a lifetime.

3059
02:41:46,660 --> 02:41:48,660
Now this is the Holy Bible 2.

3060
02:41:49,320 --> 02:41:50,920
It's a brand new Bible.

3061
02:41:51,320 --> 02:41:52,060
The Jesus book.

3062
02:41:52,880 --> 02:41:54,120
A lot of these books...

3063
02:41:56,780 --> 02:41:57,940
The Holy Bible 2.

3064
02:41:58,060 --> 02:41:58,840
It's a Jesus book.

3065
02:41:59,300 --> 02:42:00,100
Now a lot of these books,

3066
02:42:00,180 --> 02:42:02,340
they have a tendency to go all over the place,

3067
02:42:02,460 --> 02:42:04,160
wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy.

3068
02:42:04,300 --> 02:42:05,200
But this is sensational.

3069
02:42:05,320 --> 02:42:06,060
I fucking love it.

3070
02:42:06,420 --> 02:42:07,400
And that's $12.99.

3071
02:42:07,860 --> 02:42:09,300
You can get that on the internet.

3072
02:42:09,460 --> 02:42:12,140
But the internet hasn't been invented yet.

3073
02:42:12,960 --> 02:42:15,540
Now this is my personal favourite,

3074
02:42:15,740 --> 02:42:16,520
wild things.

3075
02:42:17,020 --> 02:42:19,200
It's about a couple of tigers in love

3076
02:42:19,200 --> 02:42:20,400
under a palm tree on an island.

3077
02:42:20,860 --> 02:42:21,540
Fucking love that.

3078
02:42:21,640 --> 02:42:22,380
Beautiful stuff.

3079
02:42:22,780 --> 02:42:23,720
It's a great night out.

3080
02:42:23,960 --> 02:42:25,920
It's a great night in with the cats,

3081
02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:26,440
I call it.

3082
02:42:27,400 --> 02:42:29,260
This is handoff 2.

3083
02:42:30,180 --> 02:42:30,440
Now,

3084
02:42:31,340 --> 02:42:33,420
not as good as handoff 1.

3085
02:42:33,880 --> 02:42:35,800
But it has all the hallmarks

3086
02:42:35,800 --> 02:42:37,500
of a great handoff.

3087
02:42:38,120 --> 02:42:38,820
Do you understand that?

3088
02:42:38,920 --> 02:42:39,480
Do you know what I mean?

3089
02:42:39,720 --> 02:42:39,880
Good.

3090
02:42:40,000 --> 02:42:40,100
Good.

3091
02:42:40,340 --> 02:42:41,240
We're clear on that.

3092
02:42:41,320 --> 02:42:42,200
As long as we're clear on that.

3093
02:42:42,260 --> 02:42:42,700
What's next?

3094
02:42:43,060 --> 02:42:43,720
It's up there.

3095
02:42:43,780 --> 02:42:44,140
See ya.

3096
02:42:45,820 --> 02:42:46,980
Now this is an axe.

3097
02:42:47,340 --> 02:42:48,080
This is a person.

3098
02:42:52,080 --> 02:42:52,440
Now,

3099
02:42:53,040 --> 02:42:54,140
what have I got for you next?

3100
02:42:54,320 --> 02:42:54,620
I'll tell you.

3101
02:42:55,060 --> 02:42:55,860
This is fantastic.

3102
02:42:56,020 --> 02:42:57,140
It's a fucking shark fin.

3103
02:42:57,680 --> 02:42:59,080
You plug that into the computer.

3104
02:42:59,300 --> 02:42:59,660
You can't,

3105
02:42:59,700 --> 02:43:00,720
you pull it out the box

3106
02:43:00,720 --> 02:43:02,740
and it sits on your computer like that

3107
02:43:02,740 --> 02:43:04,580
and your computer becomes a shark.

3108
02:43:04,960 --> 02:43:06,080
It's a great bit of business.

3109
02:43:06,240 --> 02:43:07,020
It's a crazy bit of business.

3110
02:43:07,720 --> 02:43:08,160
Finally,

3111
02:43:09,000 --> 02:43:09,580
my favourite,

3112
02:43:10,640 --> 02:43:11,500
click and collect.

3113
02:43:11,980 --> 02:43:13,360
We won't talk more about that

3114
02:43:13,360 --> 02:43:14,120
because it's boring.

3115
02:43:14,820 --> 02:43:16,320
I want to show you something here

3116
02:43:16,320 --> 02:43:17,000
on the screen here.

3117
02:43:17,080 --> 02:43:18,480
I downloaded this off the internet

3118
02:43:18,480 --> 02:43:19,200
there last week.

3119
02:43:20,080 --> 02:43:20,280
Now,

3120
02:43:21,660 --> 02:43:23,600
we find this for you.

3121
02:43:24,700 --> 02:43:26,600
I was dying to show you this

3122
02:43:26,600 --> 02:43:28,260
the last day, Stuart,

3123
02:43:28,720 --> 02:43:29,960
but you weren't there.

3124
02:43:30,380 --> 02:43:31,720
You never came down to the bell.

3125
02:43:32,820 --> 02:43:33,040
Now,

3126
02:43:33,320 --> 02:43:34,760
Johnny had this loaded up

3127
02:43:34,760 --> 02:43:35,940
and I told him,

3128
02:43:36,100 --> 02:43:37,280
Stuart needs to see this now.

3129
02:43:37,340 --> 02:43:38,460
I'm going to show him on his show

3130
02:43:38,460 --> 02:43:39,320
when he gets me on.

3131
02:43:40,180 --> 02:43:41,040
What it is,

3132
02:43:41,120 --> 02:43:43,020
is a crazy piece of software.

3133
02:43:44,160 --> 02:43:44,760
You get the,

3134
02:43:44,860 --> 02:43:46,200
you open up the box there

3135
02:43:46,200 --> 02:43:47,940
and it's a fucking slider on it.

3136
02:43:48,760 --> 02:43:49,140
I tell you,

3137
02:43:49,220 --> 02:43:49,440
you can,

3138
02:43:49,480 --> 02:43:50,660
you can control the slider

3139
02:43:50,660 --> 02:43:51,440
if you want.

3140
02:43:52,100 --> 02:43:53,480
You can drag and drop all the stuff

3141
02:43:53,480 --> 02:43:54,540
and it's got left or dark.

3142
02:43:54,860 --> 02:43:56,260
It's a lot of screen savers

3143
02:43:56,260 --> 02:43:57,280
and they're very cheeky.

3144
02:43:57,340 --> 02:43:58,940
A lot of them are cheeky.

3145
02:43:59,080 --> 02:44:00,640
It's ones with animals on it.

3146
02:44:00,780 --> 02:44:02,140
You can change as well

3147
02:44:02,140 --> 02:44:03,660
if you scroll down to the window.

3148
02:44:05,320 --> 02:44:07,160
This opens up another box,

3149
02:44:07,300 --> 02:44:08,080
a magic box

3150
02:44:08,080 --> 02:44:09,660
of different examples.

3151
02:44:10,380 --> 02:44:11,580
You can change the interface,

3152
02:44:11,740 --> 02:44:13,080
the GUI of your computer,

3153
02:44:13,320 --> 02:44:13,800
the graphical,

3154
02:44:14,000 --> 02:44:15,000
user interface.

3155
02:44:15,180 --> 02:44:16,580
You can cancel it if you want,

3156
02:44:16,640 --> 02:44:17,440
if you don't like that.

3157
02:44:17,920 --> 02:44:18,960
And you can change the cursor

3158
02:44:18,960 --> 02:44:19,840
into stuff as well.

3159
02:44:20,280 --> 02:44:21,680
I changed mine into a,

3160
02:44:21,680 --> 02:44:23,380
an egg timer

3161
02:44:23,380 --> 02:44:24,160
for last night.

3162
02:44:24,620 --> 02:44:25,480
I've got another one here.

3163
02:44:25,600 --> 02:44:27,320
It changes it into a maggot.

3164
02:44:28,060 --> 02:44:29,040
This is this,

3165
02:44:29,160 --> 02:44:31,420
it changes it into a Pac-Man.

3166
02:44:31,680 --> 02:44:32,280
You know that fella

3167
02:44:32,280 --> 02:44:33,280
out the games,

3168
02:44:33,440 --> 02:44:33,700
you do.

3169
02:44:34,400 --> 02:44:34,660
No,

3170
02:44:34,740 --> 02:44:35,680
it's fantastic.

3171
02:44:36,120 --> 02:44:36,680
It's great.

3172
02:44:36,780 --> 02:44:38,180
I had hours of fun with this now.

3173
02:44:41,460 --> 02:44:42,000
I tell you,

3174
02:44:42,120 --> 02:44:42,240
I've,

3175
02:44:42,460 --> 02:44:42,460
I,

3176
02:44:42,460 --> 02:44:44,460
I,

3177
02:44:44,460 --> 02:44:46,160
I had hours of fun

3178
02:44:46,160 --> 02:44:47,000
playing with this.

3179
02:44:48,160 --> 02:44:49,140
It's called click change.

3180
02:44:50,100 --> 02:44:51,920
What you do is you change the autumn,

3181
02:44:51,980 --> 02:44:52,960
you change the seasons.

3182
02:44:53,220 --> 02:44:54,160
It changes the seasons

3183
02:44:54,160 --> 02:44:55,040
of your computer

3184
02:44:55,040 --> 02:44:55,900
to pick the seasons.

3185
02:44:56,160 --> 02:44:56,320
So it's,

3186
02:44:56,380 --> 02:44:56,900
if it's winter,

3187
02:44:57,320 --> 02:44:58,320
changes it to a different color.

3188
02:44:58,720 --> 02:44:59,240
If it's autumn,

3189
02:44:59,660 --> 02:45:00,480
changes it to autumn.

3190
02:45:00,920 --> 02:45:02,340
And that's all I've got for you now.

3191
02:45:04,960 --> 02:45:06,220
It's something I want to show up there.

3192
02:45:06,580 --> 02:45:07,520
A couple of quick things.

3193
02:45:07,640 --> 02:45:09,200
Everybody virtually owns Print Shop, right?

3194
02:45:09,920 --> 02:45:10,560
Here's a book

3195
02:45:10,560 --> 02:45:11,560
that only costs about $20.

3196
02:45:11,960 --> 02:45:13,240
It's the Bible for Print Shop,

3197
02:45:13,340 --> 02:45:13,940
both for the Mac

3198
02:45:13,940 --> 02:45:14,520
or for the PC.

3199
02:45:14,620 --> 02:45:15,020
It doesn't matter.

3200
02:45:15,280 --> 02:45:16,120
Finally brings together

3201
02:45:16,120 --> 02:45:16,520
in the back

3202
02:45:16,520 --> 02:45:17,580
all the clip art

3203
02:45:17,580 --> 02:45:18,660
on all the different discs

3204
02:45:18,660 --> 02:45:19,140
that you've bought

3205
02:45:19,140 --> 02:45:20,220
over the years for Print Shop.

3206
02:45:20,740 --> 02:45:22,140
Lots of different ideas

3207
02:45:22,140 --> 02:45:22,780
on how to design

3208
02:45:22,780 --> 02:45:23,660
nice looking things

3209
02:45:23,660 --> 02:45:24,240
with Print Shop.

3210
02:45:24,500 --> 02:45:24,980
A very nice,

3211
02:45:25,120 --> 02:45:25,920
inexpensive gift.

3212
02:45:26,000 --> 02:45:26,840
This is one of my favorites

3213
02:45:26,840 --> 02:45:27,620
called Lifeguard.

3214
02:45:27,880 --> 02:45:29,140
We were talking about screen savers.

3215
02:45:29,280 --> 02:45:29,800
This I would call

3216
02:45:29,800 --> 02:45:30,600
a body saver.

3217
02:45:31,000 --> 02:45:31,140
Okay?

3218
02:45:31,480 --> 02:45:32,380
A body saver.

3219
02:45:32,380 --> 02:45:32,660
This is a great program.

3220
02:45:32,800 --> 02:45:34,240
It forces you to stop working

3221
02:45:34,240 --> 02:45:35,200
every now and then.

3222
02:45:35,660 --> 02:45:36,280
What you do,

3223
02:45:36,360 --> 02:45:36,980
you set up Lifeguard

3224
02:45:36,980 --> 02:45:37,260
and you say,

3225
02:45:37,400 --> 02:45:38,140
after every 45 minutes,

3226
02:45:38,220 --> 02:45:39,560
I want to take a 10-minute break.

3227
02:45:39,880 --> 02:45:40,200
Okay?

3228
02:45:40,280 --> 02:45:40,920
And it forces you

3229
02:45:40,920 --> 02:45:42,020
to pre-program what you want to do.

3230
02:45:42,060 --> 02:45:43,280
A little muscle exercise

3231
02:45:43,280 --> 02:45:44,100
to rest your wrists,

3232
02:45:44,220 --> 02:45:44,720
your eyes,

3233
02:45:45,020 --> 02:45:45,620
play a game,

3234
02:45:45,760 --> 02:45:46,540
walk away, whatever.

3235
02:45:46,680 --> 02:45:47,980
It forces you to stop working

3236
02:45:47,980 --> 02:45:48,660
called Lifeguard.

3237
02:45:49,040 --> 02:45:49,900
A great little program,

3238
02:45:49,980 --> 02:45:51,820
about $79 from Visionary Software.

3239
02:45:52,460 --> 02:45:53,700
These are these wonderful,

3240
02:45:53,840 --> 02:45:55,080
wonderful children's stories

3241
02:45:55,080 --> 02:45:56,640
on CD-ROM from Discus.

3242
02:45:57,140 --> 02:45:57,820
I want to show you

3243
02:45:57,820 --> 02:45:58,560
one of them right now,

3244
02:45:58,640 --> 02:45:59,020
Cinderella,

3245
02:45:59,220 --> 02:46:00,040
and this is really lovely.

3246
02:46:00,140 --> 02:46:00,820
It's up on the machine.

3247
02:46:00,960 --> 02:46:02,300
It's a hyper card kind of thing.

3248
02:46:02,400 --> 02:46:03,360
You can click on a character.

3249
02:46:03,520 --> 02:46:05,100
Cinderella.

3250
02:46:05,260 --> 02:46:06,780
And find out who the character is,

3251
02:46:06,860 --> 02:46:07,720
et cetera, et cetera.

3252
02:46:08,680 --> 02:46:09,040
Stepmother.

3253
02:46:09,300 --> 02:46:10,260
You can read the book

3254
02:46:10,260 --> 02:46:11,800
if you'd like over here,

3255
02:46:11,860 --> 02:46:13,000
or you can ask the computer

3256
02:46:13,000 --> 02:46:14,040
to read the book for you,

3257
02:46:14,100 --> 02:46:14,700
for your child.

3258
02:46:16,360 --> 02:46:17,400
His young daughter

3259
02:46:17,400 --> 02:46:18,420
was such a kind

3260
02:46:18,420 --> 02:46:19,360
and pretty girl.

3261
02:46:20,100 --> 02:46:21,200
But her stepmother

3262
02:46:21,200 --> 02:46:21,420
hated her.

3263
02:46:21,420 --> 02:46:22,560
And now suppose your child

3264
02:46:22,560 --> 02:46:23,020
doesn't understand...

3265
02:46:23,020 --> 02:46:24,860
Why would Stu be into this?

3266
02:46:25,680 --> 02:46:26,760
...understand one of those words.

3267
02:46:26,820 --> 02:46:27,640
You can go back in

3268
02:46:27,640 --> 02:46:28,420
and double-click

3269
02:46:28,420 --> 02:46:29,320
on one of the words.

3270
02:46:30,760 --> 02:46:31,940
Tommy Chronicles,

3271
02:46:32,040 --> 02:46:32,760
thank you very much.

3272
02:46:32,880 --> 02:46:33,500
And Schultz,

3273
02:46:33,660 --> 02:46:34,560
and Thomasina,

3274
02:46:34,680 --> 02:46:35,320
thank you very much.

3275
02:46:35,360 --> 02:46:36,380
Jeez, I missed a few people here.

3276
02:46:37,160 --> 02:46:38,160
Computer Tomicles,

3277
02:46:38,760 --> 02:46:39,360
Jay Rizla,

3278
02:46:39,440 --> 02:46:40,320
thank you very much.

3279
02:46:41,040 --> 02:46:41,440
Monrad,

3280
02:46:41,540 --> 02:46:42,500
thank you very, very much.

3281
02:46:43,660 --> 02:46:45,220
And Return of the Mac.

3282
02:46:46,000 --> 02:46:46,660
And Tommy Mac,

3283
02:46:46,720 --> 02:46:47,400
thank you very much.

3284
02:46:47,620 --> 02:46:48,660
And thanks very much, Tom,

3285
02:46:48,700 --> 02:46:49,000
as well.

3286
02:46:49,040 --> 02:46:50,620
No bother.

3287
02:46:51,420 --> 02:46:53,500
It did bring memories back,

3288
02:46:53,560 --> 02:46:54,040
to be honest.

3289
02:46:55,000 --> 02:46:56,380
It did bring a lot of memories back.

3290
02:46:56,380 --> 02:46:56,640
Mother.

3291
02:46:58,780 --> 02:47:07,640
What about that?

3292
02:47:07,700 --> 02:47:08,280
Shark's Fit.

3293
02:47:08,680 --> 02:47:09,740
Because it has a hundred...

3294
02:47:09,740 --> 02:47:10,960
G-Man, thank you very much.

3295
02:47:11,020 --> 02:47:11,560
What about that?

3296
02:47:11,640 --> 02:47:12,220
Shark's Fit.

3297
02:47:16,220 --> 02:47:16,840
I've always believed

3298
02:47:16,840 --> 02:47:18,200
F. Scott Fitzgerald was right,

3299
02:47:18,280 --> 02:47:19,580
that there are no second acts

3300
02:47:19,580 --> 02:47:20,300
in American lives.

3301
02:47:20,400 --> 02:47:21,840
But Mitch Kapoor is out to prove

3302
02:47:21,840 --> 02:47:23,520
me and F. Scott Fitzgerald wrong.

3303
02:47:23,940 --> 02:47:25,460
The founder of Lotus 1-2-3

3304
02:47:25,460 --> 02:47:27,300
now has Kapoor Technologies, Inc.

3305
02:47:27,360 --> 02:47:29,840
and On Location

3306
02:47:29,840 --> 02:47:30,740
is the first product

3307
02:47:30,740 --> 02:47:31,440
from On Technology.

3308
02:47:31,560 --> 02:47:32,140
It's $75.

3309
02:47:32,720 --> 02:47:34,740
And it's great packaging,

3310
02:47:34,880 --> 02:47:35,300
by the way.

3311
02:47:35,980 --> 02:47:37,680
It's including a little section

3312
02:47:37,680 --> 02:47:38,680
in here on the fine print

3313
02:47:38,680 --> 02:47:39,800
that our lawyers made us include.

3314
02:47:39,980 --> 02:47:41,140
It's a navigation tool.

3315
02:47:41,280 --> 02:47:42,460
It helps you find the files

3316
02:47:42,460 --> 02:47:43,580
that you've lost somewhere

3317
02:47:43,580 --> 02:47:44,440
on your Macintosh.

3318
02:47:44,620 --> 02:47:45,720
So I think that's terrific.

3319
02:47:46,300 --> 02:47:48,380
Sky Shadow is $40.

3320
02:47:48,960 --> 02:47:50,480
It's from Cassidy and Green

3321
02:47:50,480 --> 02:47:51,680
in Carmel, California.

3322
02:47:51,940 --> 02:47:52,360
Sky Shadow.

3323
02:47:52,360 --> 02:47:53,240
And these people who watched

3324
02:47:53,240 --> 02:47:54,120
Crystal Quest.

3325
02:47:54,240 --> 02:47:55,880
Now they have yet another

3326
02:47:55,880 --> 02:47:57,300
interesting addictive game

3327
02:47:57,300 --> 02:47:58,100
lots of fun stuff.

3328
02:47:58,100 --> 02:47:59,180
Oh, I can't wait to see this.

3329
02:47:59,360 --> 02:48:01,060
It looks like a side-scrolling

3330
02:48:01,060 --> 02:48:02,300
spaceship.

3331
02:48:02,780 --> 02:48:03,240
Sound effects.

3332
02:48:03,760 --> 02:48:05,700
And I embarrassed myself

3333
02:48:05,700 --> 02:48:07,260
last year playing Crystal Quest

3334
02:48:07,260 --> 02:48:08,120
on the Christmas show.

3335
02:48:08,840 --> 02:48:10,280
DJ Mizzenmast.

3336
02:48:10,360 --> 02:48:11,380
Thank you very much.

3337
02:48:11,800 --> 02:48:13,020
The Mizzenmast.

3338
02:48:13,080 --> 02:48:14,720
My nine-year-old and my six-year-old

3339
02:48:14,720 --> 02:48:14,940
said,

3340
02:48:15,040 --> 02:48:16,220
Daddy, how could you do so badly?

3341
02:48:16,280 --> 02:48:17,620
So this is the automated demo.

3342
02:48:17,840 --> 02:48:18,940
But you can fire forward,

3343
02:48:19,040 --> 02:48:20,140
you can fire from behind.

3344
02:48:20,140 --> 02:48:22,420
And it's got that same sense of humor,

3345
02:48:22,580 --> 02:48:23,420
cute sound effects,

3346
02:48:23,500 --> 02:48:24,120
a lot of action,

3347
02:48:24,200 --> 02:48:25,180
and it's not just

3348
02:48:25,180 --> 02:48:27,100
another things dropping out of the sky

3349
02:48:27,100 --> 02:48:28,340
and you shoot at them sort of game.

3350
02:48:28,700 --> 02:48:29,300
Clever and fine.

3351
02:48:29,300 --> 02:48:30,000
Nine mil jill.

3352
02:48:30,180 --> 02:48:31,000
Thank you very much.

3353
02:48:31,000 --> 02:48:31,600
It's one of the best Mac games

3354
02:48:31,600 --> 02:48:32,400
in this new season.

3355
02:48:32,700 --> 02:48:33,400
All right, Paul, thank you.

3356
02:48:33,420 --> 02:48:34,320
About 30 seconds left.

3357
02:48:34,420 --> 02:48:35,300
Andrew, what else do you want

3358
02:48:35,300 --> 02:48:35,780
to add to the mix?

3359
02:48:35,780 --> 02:48:36,320
What do you got?

3360
02:48:36,360 --> 02:48:37,540
Stuart, don't forget the other

3361
02:48:37,540 --> 02:48:38,660
two new Macintoshers.

3362
02:48:44,840 --> 02:48:45,840
We're ready to go again?

3363
02:48:47,840 --> 02:48:48,540
Go for it, Tam.

3364
02:48:49,460 --> 02:48:50,580
The mic is hot.

3365
02:48:50,580 --> 02:48:51,380
The mic is clear.

3366
02:48:51,380 --> 02:49:21,360
Well, you have heard from me,

3367
02:49:21,360 --> 02:49:23,260
before, and we're back again.

3368
02:49:26,820 --> 02:49:27,700
That's it, Stu.

3369
02:49:27,800 --> 02:49:29,200
I got fucking stewed.

3370
02:49:29,580 --> 02:49:31,560
Stu, you didn't really give me

3371
02:49:31,560 --> 02:49:32,480
much time there, Francis.

3372
02:49:33,600 --> 02:49:34,380
No problem.

3373
02:49:34,800 --> 02:49:36,340
You did well enough before, Tam.

3374
02:49:36,380 --> 02:49:36,920
Thanks very much.

3375
02:49:37,740 --> 02:49:38,840
We'd like to wish you

3376
02:49:38,840 --> 02:49:40,440
a very happy holiday season.

3377
02:49:40,600 --> 02:49:41,500
Stay tuned now, though,

3378
02:49:41,560 --> 02:49:43,040
for this week's computer news.

3379
02:49:43,040 --> 02:50:04,120
Let's just see the names of that.

3380
02:50:04,200 --> 02:50:05,220
The shark fin one is.

3381
02:50:05,320 --> 02:50:06,040
The shark fin one is.

3382
02:50:06,040 --> 02:50:09,200
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

3383
02:50:10,380 --> 02:50:11,840
CD-ROM.

3384
02:50:12,380 --> 02:50:13,280
CD-ROM player.

3385
02:50:14,720 --> 02:50:15,780
Cosmic Osmo.

3386
02:50:15,960 --> 02:50:16,240
Sim.

3387
02:50:16,440 --> 02:50:17,440
Amanda Stories.

3388
02:50:17,900 --> 02:50:18,840
Designer Frackle.

3389
02:50:18,920 --> 02:50:19,520
Wild Thing.

3390
02:50:19,620 --> 02:50:20,320
Hand off to.

3391
02:50:20,440 --> 02:50:21,260
Protector Shark.

3392
02:50:21,760 --> 02:50:23,860
50 quid for Protector Shark.

3393
02:50:24,680 --> 02:50:27,180
What an absolute Scrooge ripoff.

3394
02:50:29,180 --> 02:50:30,560
50 fucking quid for that.

3395
02:50:30,640 --> 02:50:31,600
What does it even do?

3396
02:50:31,880 --> 02:50:32,820
Click change.

3397
02:50:33,840 --> 02:50:34,280
Handbook.

3398
02:50:34,440 --> 02:50:34,880
Cinderella.

3399
02:50:35,100 --> 02:50:35,580
Mac user.

3400
02:50:35,720 --> 02:50:36,300
On location.

3401
02:50:37,460 --> 02:50:38,760
Thank you very much there.

3402
02:50:38,880 --> 02:50:40,400
RS for the tip there.

3403
02:50:40,500 --> 02:50:41,500
Computer Tomicles.

3404
02:50:42,160 --> 02:50:43,340
And random access.

3405
02:50:43,540 --> 02:50:44,240
Thank you very much.

3406
02:50:46,120 --> 02:50:46,500
Thanking.

3407
02:50:46,560 --> 02:50:47,660
I'm actually thanking computer.

3408
02:50:47,800 --> 02:50:49,380
Is that Janelle Stelson there?

3409
02:50:51,000 --> 02:50:53,960
It's none other than Kate Megarigi.

3410
02:50:54,240 --> 02:50:54,840
Megargi.

3411
02:50:55,300 --> 02:50:58,420
The merger of video and computers moved a giant step closer.

3412
02:50:58,420 --> 02:50:59,180
Good boys.

3413
02:50:59,340 --> 02:51:01,020
As chips and technologies began.

3414
02:51:01,440 --> 02:51:02,380
Good boys.

3415
02:51:08,020 --> 02:51:09,220
Good boys.

3416
02:51:09,900 --> 02:51:10,860
Plug edition.

3417
02:51:14,740 --> 02:51:16,220
Another one of these guys.

3418
02:51:16,220 --> 02:51:21,160
Thank you very much there.

3419
02:51:21,420 --> 02:51:22,280
Captain Sack.

3420
02:51:23,680 --> 02:51:25,460
Very, very kind of you.

3421
02:51:25,620 --> 02:51:26,600
Captain Sack.

3422
02:51:36,280 --> 02:51:38,080
Is chip your real name?

3423
02:51:38,160 --> 02:51:38,720
Video chip?

3424
02:51:38,720 --> 02:51:39,720
Wow.

3425
02:51:39,720 --> 02:51:39,720
Wow.

3426
02:51:39,720 --> 02:51:40,720
Wow.

3427
02:51:40,720 --> 02:51:47,520
The video chip is already being used in a new PC video board being sold by New Media Graphics Corporation.

3428
02:51:47,980 --> 02:51:50,820
The video card will sell for just $695.

3429
02:51:51,700 --> 02:51:55,720
That's about one-third the cost of the competing products, which have been on the market until now.

3430
02:51:56,120 --> 02:51:59,960
The video chip does memory timing, color keying, and frame buffering.

3431
02:52:00,360 --> 02:52:04,860
The new video board will support NTSC, PAL, and SVHS formats.

3432
02:52:05,220 --> 02:52:10,000
Intel says it will ship its new supercomputer, the Touchstone Delta, next spring.

3433
02:52:10,540 --> 02:52:13,880
The Intel supercomputer uses over 500 i860...

3434
02:52:13,880 --> 02:52:15,700
The new thing I'm obsessed with is this.

3435
02:52:15,840 --> 02:52:21,040
...to achieve a theoretical top speed of 30 billion floating point operations per second.

3436
02:52:21,420 --> 02:52:24,460
The supercomputer will cost over $15 million...

3437
02:52:24,460 --> 02:52:33,860
Are you there, Tom?

3438
02:52:34,320 --> 02:52:34,840
I am, yeah.

3439
02:52:34,840 --> 02:52:35,720
Can you clean the mic up?

3440
02:52:38,300 --> 02:52:39,300
Take it away, Tom.

3441
02:52:39,780 --> 02:52:40,780
...be installed at the...

3442
02:52:40,780 --> 02:52:43,920
Now...

3443
02:52:43,920 --> 02:52:48,160
First things first, we've got a couple of lovely lads.

3444
02:52:48,500 --> 02:52:49,440
These are great boys.

3445
02:52:49,920 --> 02:52:50,900
Chip and Sonic.

3446
02:52:51,500 --> 02:52:52,240
Lovely hounds.

3447
02:52:52,560 --> 02:52:54,440
And they're available to you if you want to buy them.

3448
02:52:54,840 --> 02:52:55,480
They're rescues.

3449
02:52:56,160 --> 02:52:58,100
They're good guys, but they haven't been house trained.

3450
02:52:58,620 --> 02:53:02,020
You need to teach them how to piss and shit outside the house.

3451
02:53:02,560 --> 02:53:06,040
I was mining them for a few days, and I had to fucking give them straight back.

3452
02:53:06,480 --> 02:53:07,500
Because they wrecked the head.

3453
02:53:07,640 --> 02:53:09,460
But they're good boys, and they have lovely hearts.

3454
02:53:10,000 --> 02:53:16,500
And they come with a free videotape as well, which is a video of their antics back in the past.

3455
02:53:17,220 --> 02:53:17,940
Chip and Sonic.

3456
02:53:18,560 --> 02:53:19,200
Available now.

3457
02:53:20,880 --> 02:53:22,860
Coming up, a lovely piece of technology.

3458
02:53:23,080 --> 02:53:25,860
I got the car boot down in Ballinersloe there two weeks back.

3459
02:53:26,320 --> 02:53:31,180
It was a fella with a horse cart, and he had this big computer york in the back of the trailer.

3460
02:53:31,660 --> 02:53:33,380
And I was asking him, what's that about?

3461
02:53:33,940 --> 02:53:34,880
Is it for sale?

3462
02:53:35,600 --> 02:53:38,120
I said, it's for sale, but I can't just tell you what it's about.

3463
02:53:38,780 --> 02:53:39,740
I said, I'll take it.

3464
02:53:39,840 --> 02:53:40,380
How much?

3465
02:53:40,800 --> 02:53:41,500
He said, $200.

3466
02:53:43,720 --> 02:53:49,860
PCs and laptops are expensive, and they're getting pricier as well, with the Winter Edition content setting in.

3467
02:53:50,040 --> 02:53:56,580
My advice to you, save the money and spend it on heating and house appliances.

3468
02:53:57,180 --> 02:53:58,100
Tech is dead, baby.

3469
02:53:58,460 --> 02:54:00,000
It's all about keeping warm this Christmas.

3470
02:54:00,840 --> 02:54:07,280
And if you think that's a lie, just try and buy a laptop and see how warm you are around the tree on Christmas Day.

3471
02:54:07,620 --> 02:54:10,400
Not that warm at all, because the laptop won't be warm.

3472
02:54:11,340 --> 02:54:15,440
Now, if you're after a low-cost workstation, this is what you need.

3473
02:54:16,140 --> 02:54:20,220
I got this off a fella again in Ballin' Slow two weeks last Friday.

3474
02:54:21,000 --> 02:54:23,920
It was the same fella, but it was his brother.

3475
02:54:24,780 --> 02:54:29,780
He had another fella with a horse cart and a horse box, and he said $200 for that as well.

3476
02:54:30,480 --> 02:54:32,480
Now, it's time for the software top 10.

3477
02:54:35,100 --> 02:54:36,500
Number one, After Dark.

3478
02:54:36,960 --> 02:54:37,340
Two.

3479
02:54:38,240 --> 02:54:39,080
Distubbler, three.

3480
02:54:39,420 --> 02:54:39,700
Three.

3481
02:54:40,020 --> 02:54:40,660
Sam, two.

3482
02:54:41,060 --> 02:54:41,400
Four.

3483
02:54:41,520 --> 02:54:42,860
Adobe Type Manager, two.

3484
02:54:43,200 --> 02:54:43,720
And five.

3485
02:54:43,860 --> 02:54:44,740
Mac Utilities.

3486
02:54:46,160 --> 02:54:46,600
Six.

3487
02:54:46,760 --> 02:54:48,440
Quicken for the Mac 1.5.

3488
02:54:48,560 --> 02:54:48,880
Seven.

3489
02:54:49,060 --> 02:54:50,240
FileMaker Pro.

3490
02:54:50,700 --> 02:54:50,900
Eight.

3491
02:54:50,960 --> 02:54:52,140
Microsoft Word 4B.

3492
02:54:52,860 --> 02:54:53,220
Nine.

3493
02:54:53,320 --> 02:54:53,700
Suitcase.

3494
02:54:53,700 --> 02:54:55,780
And the classics are sold out.

3495
02:54:56,020 --> 02:54:57,840
This is the news of the holiday season.

3496
02:54:58,360 --> 02:54:59,440
It's a shit situation.

3497
02:54:59,960 --> 02:55:02,920
You're not going to be able to get your hands on the brand new Mac.

3498
02:55:03,360 --> 02:55:08,360
So, as I said before, you might as well put the money towards the electricity and the gas,

3499
02:55:08,800 --> 02:55:11,560
or even buy a sack of peat.

3500
02:55:13,240 --> 02:55:14,100
3D Studio.

3501
02:55:14,340 --> 02:55:22,640
This is a quality piece of software that I've been using night after night when the moon is in the sky.

3502
02:55:23,000 --> 02:55:26,560
It's a lovely, lovely piece of science technology,

3503
02:55:26,960 --> 02:55:31,060
which tells you how desks worked back in Copernicus' time.

3504
02:55:31,660 --> 02:55:35,680
It will also tell you how you can manufacture your own desk if you've got the time and the know-how.

3505
02:55:36,180 --> 02:55:37,780
That's all for today's Random Access.

3506
02:55:38,320 --> 02:55:40,980
I've been Janelle Schlug, and that's all for now.

3507
02:55:41,220 --> 02:55:43,020
Thank you very much, and we'll see you later.

3508
02:55:43,160 --> 02:55:45,680
Have a lovely Christmas, and that's all from us.

3509
02:55:46,060 --> 02:55:48,460
If you want to have a lovely Christmas, just have one.

3510
02:55:49,000 --> 02:55:49,660
Just have one.

3511
02:55:50,000 --> 02:55:51,520
It's all in the eye of the beholder.

3512
02:55:51,520 --> 02:55:53,980
You don't need all the money in the world.

3513
02:55:54,380 --> 02:55:57,540
You don't need lots of shiny presents.

3514
02:55:58,480 --> 02:56:00,060
We've still got some more news, actually.

3515
02:56:00,520 --> 02:56:01,320
Windows degree.

3516
02:56:01,440 --> 02:56:02,120
How about that?

3517
02:56:02,380 --> 02:56:03,220
You went to college.

3518
02:56:03,460 --> 02:56:03,940
It's useless.

3519
02:56:04,140 --> 02:56:05,780
Tear it up and throw it in the bin.

3520
02:56:06,160 --> 02:56:08,840
If you've not got a Windows degree, you need to get one.

3521
02:56:09,660 --> 02:56:14,680
This is the degree that all business people want to see when you go for a job.

3522
02:56:15,300 --> 02:56:19,360
It doesn't matter whether you were in school or you were in secondary school or you went to college.

3523
02:56:19,620 --> 02:56:21,980
What they want to know is, do you have Windows degree?

3524
02:56:22,180 --> 02:56:23,260
That's all from me anyway.

3525
02:56:23,380 --> 02:56:24,200
Have a lovely Christmas.

3526
02:56:30,200 --> 02:56:31,620
Computer Chronicles.

3527
02:56:31,620 --> 02:56:34,780
Computer Chronicles was brought to you by the Software Publishers Association.

3528
02:56:34,780 --> 02:56:37,840
Remember, don't copy that floppy.

3529
02:56:38,840 --> 02:56:40,400
In association with Byte.

3530
02:56:40,920 --> 02:56:41,420
Bates.

3531
02:56:43,160 --> 02:56:46,040
Computer Chronicles transcripts are available for $4.

3532
02:56:46,120 --> 02:56:54,600
Please send status as available to PDF publications, PO Box 701, Kent, Ohio, 44240.

3533
02:56:54,600 --> 02:57:04,680
Thank you for watching Francis Higgins streams on YouTube.

3534
02:57:05,760 --> 02:57:08,920
It's been a pleasure and hope to see you again soon.

3535
02:57:10,820 --> 02:57:13,900
Please take care and have a safe, cheery home.

3536
02:57:14,600 --> 02:57:17,860
Or if you're still at home, have a safe sleep.

3537
02:57:18,460 --> 02:57:21,480
If you're not sleeping, just have a safe.

3538
02:57:21,480 --> 02:57:28,700
And remember, don't copy the floppy.

3539
02:57:30,660 --> 02:57:31,180
Good night.

3540
02:57:32,400 --> 02:57:33,500
And jobless.
